𝐀𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 - maze runner, Thomas

Chapter 22- stay away

Two hours later we are walking through the empty streets of the city. There is no single soul apart from us. It reminds me of a ghost town.

The weather always changes from hot to cold and than back to even warmer. Though this could also be a side effect from the flare.

My long dark hair is hanging in my face. It's sticking to my sweaty skin. Same as my clothes. I feel disgusting. My vision is far from being clear. Everything seems to fade. Not just the view but also my memory.

I try to hold on to certain memories but when I forget them I don't even feel bad about it because I don't remember how much it meant to me.

Frustrated I give up. Losing the parts of me that are human is painful. All the love I felt at some point in my life vanishes and turns into anger.

Fighting it is exhausting me.

However the others made it more than clear that they want to save me and I'm not planning on destroying their hopes. But it for sure doesn't look good. I'm getting worse by the second.

The woman, whose name I unfortunately forgot, decided that it would be the best if I keep a distance between myself and them. That's why the group is walking ten meters in front of me and I'm stumbling after them.

Thomas keeps looking back at me to check if I'm okay. I think I'm far from being okay and I probably look like it too.

I try to avoid his eyes and look at the destroyed buildings and skyscrapers instead. It hurts too much to look at him.

We won't have the happy end that we wanted. No house, no dog, no kids... I just hope he'll find someone else who makes him happy.

I wish I could kiss him one last time and tell him how much he means to me but there is no way in hell that I'm risking to infect him.

My head is getting heavier and it's getting harder to breathe. I'm sweating more than usual and I really really want to punsh something.

I keep forgetting where we are going. Than I always have to repeat the whole conversation from before in my head until I get to the point where the woman announces that we're heading for the right arm.

She came from the mountains and she knows some of us. That's all I know. The rest is blurry. I'm afraid I will lose my memory again.

It wouldn't be funny to have that happening and than wake up in the box all over again. At least I wouldn't be infected anymore. Compared to this the maze was bearable.

I mentally slap myself. I have to stop thinking like this. I'm doing this right now for the others. I'm fighting for my friends to get the live they deserve.

I can't help but think that they would be better off without me. Maybe I should wait for them to walk a little further and just run away. If my goddamn boyfriend would stop checking on me every two seconds I would have done that already.

I could join the other cranks. Maybe they won't hurt me because I also have the flare. Deep down inside I know that's not true.

They would kill me. I'm still human. Just not fully turned yet.

I don't want to be a crank. I don't want to hurt anyone.

Teresa is walking next to Thomas and Newt in the back of the group. She has a comforting hand on Thomas's shoulder. Newt is limping beside them. He turned around towards me at least ten times in the past ten minutes.

Why do they care so much? I tried to hurt them.

I hate myself so much it hurts. I know that it is not just because of the flare. It just shows who I really am.

I am not a good person. My friends are good people. All of them. They care about each other and they would never harm anyone.

Especially Thomas, Teresa and Newt.

All three of them seem extremely exhausted. I can tell that by the way they are walking.

By accident I look at Thomas and his eyes meet mine. When I see his expression I regret it immediately. It feels like someone just stabbed me.

His eyes are the saddest I've ever seen them. He stares at me as if I'm already gone. I ferl the urge to hug him and to tell him that I'm still his girlfriend. That everything is going to be okay.

But that would be a horrible lie. It would make it worse.

I advert my gaze quickly and look at the ground. I clench my teeth and bite my bottom lip until it's bleeding.

I will die. Sooner or later It'll be too late and I'll turn into one of those zombies.

I miss one step and stumble over my feet. I catch myself before falling and grimace in pain. Every inch of my body hurts like hell.

The rage from yesterday is slowly creeping back into my mind.

I remember vaguely that there was a mirror and that I punched it. As the thought of it I glance down at my bandaged fist. The skin underneath it is pale and there are thin black veins growing from my arm down to my wrist.

How much time do I have left? An hour? Two?

Even my depression felt better than this. Back then I wanted to die but couldn't, now I want to live but will probably die.

Fate isn't on my side. It never really was.

My surroundings blur in front of my eyes. I'm getting dizzy and tired from all the walking. I need a break.

The images of the people I love come into my mind. The memory of me hugging my older sister makes my eyes well up with tears.

I remember joking around with Thomas' little brother. What was his name again?

Where the hell are we going?! Who is this woman and why do the two men have guns around their chests?

All those questions are making my head spin and I hold onto it with both my hands.

I close my eyes and stop walking. I can't do this any longer. I feel like I'm half dead.

According to the faint voices calling my name my friends noticed my strange behaviour.

I wish they would have just left me here.

"Ruby!" Someone tries to get my attention. I open my eyes and am blended by the light. It wasn't that bright the last time I checked. What is happening with me?

Thomas is a few meters away from me looking at me with panicked eyes. The others are behind him.

In the corner of my eyes I see one of the man pointing his gun at me but Minho notices and angrily shouts at him to lower it.

There is a weird ringing in my ears. It reminds me of a bomb that is going to explode any minute.

I press my hands harder against my ears and stumble to the left. My eyes open and close while I try to stay conscious.

I frown when suddenly the ground starts moving closer. The ringing in my ears gets louder too.

Thomas calls my name again. Then I hear people calling his name. I can make out Brenda telling him to stop.

No, no, no, no. He can't touch me. I don't want him to get infected.

I silently pray for Thomas to listen to Brenda. I completely lose my balance and collapse.

Just before I hit the ground two familiar arms wrap around my waist and catch me. I'm being pressed against someone's chest while the person caresses my back.

My eyes flutter open one last time before they get to heavy and I'm back to seeing nothing.

"I got you. I got you." A whisper sounds into my ears.  The warmth of the body beside me calms me down a bit. "I love you." Is the last thing I hear.

I can't fight it anymore. I faint. Again. In his arms.

A/n:

I'm imagining this scene like when Finn caught Clarke when she had the virus (the 100). Next chapter is gonna be at the right arm woohoo!