Love Never Existed - Hyunsung

[53]

"Please..."

"Jisung, no..."

"Please, say it, Hyunjin... I'm begging you...just say it... Tell me that you are joking...please tell me he is not my son...please..."

"I-I... I can't..."

"Yes, you can. It's just three words... Say it, please... You cannot do this to me..."

"Jisung...I'm sorry..."

"Hyunjin..."

"I- I- I wish you knew me a little more, Jisung..."

"Why...?"

"So you would know I don't mean to hurt you by all this...and that I'm telling you this not to hurt you, but to keep you away from my aunt's lies..."

"But-"

"I won't say it..."

"Hyunjin-"

"I can't say it... I'm not lying... You need to know the truth... I'm sorry..."

After Jisung burst into tears in my chest, he tried to make me say things I didn't mean. Things that would lessen his grief.

In the back of his brain something blocked him. He really wanted to believe I was lying or joking.

The pain he felt for the truth was too hard to bear it, so his brain brainwashed him. It was like a mechanical defence that activated.

I was ready to be asked all the questions he could have, but he was not ready to know the truth and I was not ready to see him collapse like this.

It hit him really hard to know that all this time he has been grieving for a little girl that was not even his.

I understand that what I was implying was unbelievable and taken out of a crazy fictional book. I know that getting to know this and believing it is very difficult.

One day you are grieving your daughter, the one you saw die with your own eyes and the next day someone comes to you to tell you they've been raising your son for a long time now, that the ashes your had in your hands were from someone else's baby.

Hard to believe, I know. It's completely shocking.

I totally understand his reaction.

Besides, so far there are just words, but not evidence given.

That's why he wanted me to say I was lying. As long as there weren't tangible proofs there was a possibility of going back on my words, but I wouldn't give in. Nor even if he was in painful turmoil; A pain very destructive. The wound in his chest wide opened once again and in mine a new one formed.

Staying in the living room in this state was not a good idea.

Han Jisung couldn't take his eyes away from Su-jin.

He had tears in his eyes, but his eyebrows were also furrowed. His both fists were also clenched. I didn't know if that was a good sign or not.

Since Su-jin could spot us in this crying mess, I stood up from the couch with Jisung and led us to my room.

When we arrived there, I left the door open so I could listen to Su-jin's voice and Kkami's noises.

Jisung sat on my bed, depleted. He was crying with his hands covering his face.

He is in a deep shock to process what I've just revealed.

I'm not even sure if he acknowledged that Jinsu and I are related, since I saw in his eyes how he scanned my face to see if he could find any of her in me. But when it wasn't like that, when he didn't find any resemblance in me, he lowered his gaze and whispered 'lie' to himself.