willow (a reneé rapp story)

i wish

*time skip 4 months later (i'm sorry)*

willow's pov:

i lay in bed looking at my ceiling, i'm proud of myself, for the first time in what feels like forever i'm content, not happy but content.

today is my dad's birthday.

i'm currently living in my childhood home in illinois, it's been somewhat grounding coming back here and sleeping in the bedroom i grew up in.

i'm starting to feel like myself again, there's just one thing missing now, and i fucked it up.

over the past 4 months, i've kept in contact with alex and kali obviously and i wish i could say the same about reneé but i can't, as soon as i got here i felt so embarrassed that she saw me like that and i blocked her number on my phone.

by the time i came back to my senses and unblocked her it was too late, she had been seen with and posted about a fitness model named alissa butt.

i should've known though i mean reneé is gorgeous and i told her not to wait for me, but it still hurt me to my core.

"willow get your ass downstairs no more sad girl hours, only happy birthday dad hours!!" i hear my dad shout from downstairs, i shake my head and chuckle to myself before going down the stairs and joining my parents.

my mom grew up privileged and spoiled, it shows because as an adult she's those exact things. i don't really get along with her, she makes me feel insecure and judged constantly whereas my dad is the complete opposite.

he's got more money than her doubled but he's so humble and doesn't take anything seriously. with him i feel safe and understood, only 4 people in my life have ever made me feel like that: my dad, alex, kali and reneé..

fuck.

my phone buzzes and i quickly check who it is, everytime my phone makes a sound i pray it's her but it never is.

big bro
hey will can u tell ur dad i said happy birthday and that if i was there i would kick his ass for not sending u back home yet
hope you're good
suki and noodles miss u

will (ow)
he says thank you and that he would like to see u try😭
i'm doing better
tell them that i miss them more
and give them kisses

"willow mija, are you not going to post for your father's birthday??" my mom says clearly angry but in a calm voice, i don't know how she does it.

"mami, i haven't posted in months and dad doesn't care about posts" i say to her.

"i don't care it's disrespectful, do it now" she says, the truth is that i actually was going to post him, i just love pissing her off over the stupidest shit and he really doesn't care about being posted.

"leave her alone" my dad says putting his arms on my shoulders from behind me.

my mom just rolls her eyes and goes into the back yard to sit on the sun chairs and drink.

"so what are you going to wish for dad?" i ask him.

he laughs "if i tell you it won't come true, now come tell me why you haven't fully come back" he says getting serious all of a sudden.

"what do you mean?" i say chuckling nervously whilst playing with the hem of my tshirt.

"come out kiddo i see it in your face somethings missing"

"it's not something, it's someone" i say, as i begin to explain the whole reneé situation even though in hindsight it just sounds weird on paper.

i mean like me and her basically went on one official date and slept together twice, on paper it sounds so stupid but my heart actually feels broken.