One day I'll have it all. // Williamson

Footy

Silent. Everything was silent.

I felt alone. So alone. So utterly and painfully alone.

I had no idea what time it was. Maybe 2 p.m., or maybe 2 a.m.

Maybe the clock had stopped ticking altogether, frozen in time like my fractured heart.

The walls of Katie's bedroom seemed to close in around me, pressing in from all sides until I could barely breathe. I lay on the bed, staring at the window, buried under a heavy blanket, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.

Leah's words echoed in my mind, haunting me with their painful truth. I couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that gnawed at my soul, the sense of loss that hung over me like a dark cloud.

I missed her. God, how I missed her.

But even more than that, I missed us. I missed the warmth of her embrace, the sound of her laughter, the gentle touch of her hand in mine. I missed the way she made me feel alive, whole, complete.

I heard the door of the room creak open, and I squeezed my eyes shut at the sound, not wanting to face whoever had entered.

I felt the bed shift slightly as someone sat down beside me. I didn't move. Not my body, not my eyes. Nothing. I kept staring at the window. Its blinds keeping me from seeing anything at all.

I could feel the weight of Katie's gaze on me, but I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes, couldn't bear to face the pity and sympathy I knew would be lurking there.

"Oi," Katie tried, and I felt her hand gently lying on my ankle, covered by the thick white blanket. It was the sweetest 'Oi' she had ever thrown my way. "You wanna eat something?"

I shook my head slightly, my voice barely above a whisper as I replied, "No, I'm not hungry."

Katie didn't push further. She knew me too well for that. Instead, she let out a soft sigh, her hand squeezing my ankle gently in a silent gesture of support.

For a long time, we sat in silence, the only sound the soft rustle of the sheets as we shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

"You still don't wanna tell me what happened?" She then asked, her voice soft and gentle, laced with concern and curiosity. I could hear the genuine worry in her tone, the unspoken question hanging in the air between us. "Cause if I gotta punch someone I will."

I remained silent for a moment, my mind a swirling tempest of conflicting emotions. Part of me longed to confide in Katie, to pour out my heart and soul and lay bare the pain and anguish that gnawed at my very core. But another part of me hesitated, wary of exposing my vulnerabilities to anyone else, even someone as dear to me as Katie.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I spoke, my voice hoarse with emotion. "I received a contract offer. Two weeks ago. 70k. To play for Madrid." I paused, the words hanging in the air like a heavyweight. "But Arsenal... They're not giving me any info about it. They're just... ignoring me. It's like they don't even care." I explained, wiping my nose inelegantly with the back of my hand. "It's been killing me. I've had nightmares. I can't sleep. Every time I do, I see... I see myself alone. I see myself, betraying Leah. And I'm left without her. Without football. Without anything."

Katie listened quietly, her expression a mixture of sympathy and understanding as she absorbed my words. She didn't interrupt, didn't offer empty platitudes or meaningless reassurances. She simply listened, her presence a silent anchor in the storm of my emotions.

"It's... it's killing Leah as much as it's killing me. She... she said we needed time apart. Said I had to learn how to live without her. Just in case." I continued, and I could feel my eyes burning, tears threatening to escape at any given moment. I kept them all in. "We got into this... this fight, because I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave, and Leah didn't want me to go either. But she thought it was for the best, for both of us. And now... now I don't know what to do..."