Leave The City (Book 8 of Adopted by the Josephs)

53. Samantha

Tuesday morning I just couldn't face going back to school. I knew I had the option not to and decided against leaving the house. I told Aunt Sarah and Uncle Brendon and they only asked if I was avoiding school because of yesterday. I wasn't. Mentally, I just couldn't handle the thought of being in school without Brandi. I know, she's never coming back. I know I can't stay away from school. But just the day after I had all those memories flow in. I couldn't.

I logged onto my online tutoring portal and sent a message to my tutor that I was home and logged in. We worked for a couple of hours after I'd had breakfast with Aunt Sarah and Uncle B, and then I took a break. I was exhausted and needed a nap. I slept for a couple of hours, I think, maybe not quite that long. I had lunch and went back to work for an hour. But I needed a break. I went outside and curled up on the lounge chair, and scrolled through Brandi's social media, photos I'd taken and screenshots of conversations we'd had that I thought were either really deep or funny. I went through some of the messages sent to me when I was in a coma, too.

Aunt Sarah and Uncle Brendon were great. They would check in from time to time, but they didn't bug me. They gave me space, but were around. Sort of on the periphery.

I had an afternoon snack and another nap. I was having a hard time coming to terms with Brandi being gone.

Tuesday night, I went to bed early. Aunt Sarah came in about ten minutes after I went upstairs. I hadn't done anything about getting ready for bed. I'd just sat on the edge of my bed and that depleted my energy. Why did Brandi have to die? 

Aunt Sarah asked if I was okay and I told her the truth. I'm not. I'm sad. I miss Brandi. I told her that part of me wishes I was dreaming and the memories were false and Brandi would text any minute and I would tell her about my stupid dream. Part of me knew it was all true and I had to deal. And part of me wished I was still in a coma and didn't have to deal with this at all. I told Aunt Sarah that it hurt so, so much. And then I bawled like a baby. Aunt Sarah wrapped her arms around me and let me cry. Uncle Brendon came in at some point and sat on my other side. I felt protected, safe, loved. But I was still so, so sad.

Eventually, I was cried out. I talked with them for a few more minutes and then they left me to let me get ready for bed.  I went into my bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and went back into my room to take off my leg and go to bed.

I had no trouble falling asleep.

"Hey Sam," a voice got my attention. I opened my eyes and Brandi was sitting on my bed.

"What? How are you here? How? What?"

Brandi smiled at me.

"Meh. You know me. Never know when I'm gonna just show up," she said.

"I miss you so much," I said. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" She asked me. "I was driving."

"But you died. I didn't," I said.

"Well, but technically. But you did a couple of times," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"I know you died a couple of times. But they kept bringing you back."

"Were you alive while they were cutting me out of your car?" I asked, sitting up.

"No," Brandi said. "I died on impact. Like you were told."

I frowned.

"Sam, I know you're sad, and I think you're probably feeling guilty that you survived and I didn't. Don't.  It was a stupid accident. I had too much to drink and I smoked more than I admitted. And then Ashton showing up," she rolled her eyes. "What an ass. Is he sad at all?"