The Love Pill

21. Change

Freen Sarocha

'Come on, I apologized about a million times, what else can I do?' Billy begged, sitting in my office, where I was blatantly ignoring him. I knew deep down that he didn't rat me out on purpose, but I was still mad about Songjet hitting on my girl and I had to take it out on someone.

'Freen Sarocha, you are being unreasonable. You know this is not my fault.'

I rolled my eyes and looked at him. He really did look like he was sorry.

'I know. I'm just mad that no matter what I do or tell Becky, there will never be a future?

I sighed, deciding to just let him off the hook and forgive him. Holding a grudge didn't do me any good anyway.

Besides, his apologies and begging started to get on my nerves, and I wasn't sure how long I could take it before I clobbered him on the head.

He looked curiously at me. ' You are actually thinking about that? Having a future with Becky? You do know that she is a woman, and you are straight, right?'

'Really? I hadn't noticed that she was female. Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious." I sarcastically snorted, shaking my head in annoyance.

He shrugged his shoulders. 'Just saying.'

You really like Becky that much, huh?'

I sighed in defeat. Against all the odds, apparently, I did. And although I had spent the evening and morning with her, I still had no clue if the feeling was mutual.

There were indicators that she was into me, like when she would kiss me instead of me kissing her. Or when she asked me to stay the night. But on the other hand, this morning she had tried to move away in bed. I don't think she knew I noticed, but it had been very obvious. I had quickly put on some clothes because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

It was never even my intention to shed so many clothes, but I had undressed somewhere in the middle of the night, because it had gotten too hot under the covers for me.

But aside from these things, she did agree to come over.

'I invited her to have dinner at my place' I softly admitted, preparing myself for his shouting. I was right.

'YOU DID WHAT?' he bellowed.

I know. Don't judge me, Billy. I just wanted to see her again. I sulked, trying to convince us both. I could have asked her for a film, a dinner at a restaurant or even just a walk. But no, I had to ask if she wanted to come over.

'Why would you do that? You know that's going to complicate a lot of things...' Billy stated carefully.

I know...God, this is a disaster. I don't even know what I'm going to cook for her.'

'That's what you are worried about? What are you going to cook for her? If I were you, I would start worrying about hiding every bit of your work and your past life.' Billy huffed, looking at me in utter disbelief.

Okay, so maybe I got my priorities a bit mixed up, but the mission was becoming less and less important. But not less stressful. I knew what was hanging above my head every moment of every day.

I know. Maybe I should talk to our boss and ask to take me off this mission. If I have to walk away without completely screwing her over, this is the moment and not in a couple of weeks? I admitted, thinking about how I wouldn't be able to explain to Becky why I couldn't see her any-more. Now it would hurt, but it would be bearable. For her, but also for me. If I were to wait another couple of weeks, it would tear me apart.

I could see myself love her and I knew that if I stuck around, I would. And it terrified me. I felt like running into the exact opposite direction without ever looking back to spare my heart, but another part of me wanted to run towards her and crash into her at the speed of light.

'Are you mentally ill? You don't quit. You never quit.' Billy looked at me as if I had gotten crazy. Maybe I had. Crazy about Becky.

'This time I might. I don't think the information is worth it. Not for me anyway' I admitted, feeling selfish.

'But this is what we do!' Billy shouted, slapping his chest. Then he pointed at me.

'This is what you do.'

'No, not this time. I'm going to talk to the boss.' I said, shaking my head and walking out of my office. Things had to change.

I knocked on his door, nerves raging through my body. If I was able to end the mission today, I would have to end things with Becky after tomorrow evening. And then somehow, I would have to find a way to be okay with that.

I wasn't sure how I was going to figure that out, but it seemed like a better option than breaking her and my heart in a couple of weeks.

'Come in.'

My boss looked up from his desk and smiled. He extended his arm and signaled that I could sit down. I let myself glide down in the chair and inhaled a deep breath.

'I want to terminate mission 42/GLTB/3. I can extend it until Saturday evening, but there I draw the line.' I said, officially making the request. My boss looked up from his paperwork and stared intensely at me.

'Why?'

I'm not going to succeed' I said, not completely telling the truth.

'What do you mean? I heard from Songjet that Armstrong confirmed her relationship status as dating. That means she is falling for the Sarocha charm.' my boss grinned, looking satisfied at me.

'The problem isn't her. It's me. I'm the one who is falling.' I admitted, looking down at my feet. This was going to change the whole story.

'Oh. That changes the whole story.' my boss said, his grin falling off his face. See, I told you.

He leant back and rubbed his chin. 'This complicates a couple of things. And sheds light on some too...Have you given her the love pill yet?'

'No, sir. I haven't found a good moment.'

He nodded, lost in his own thoughts.

'Freen, I want you to proceed with mission 42/GLTB/3. When we have the information, we can talk again about how and if you want to continue your relationship with Armstrong. I'm officially denying your request. I'm very sorry.'

I bit my lip, trying to contain my emotions.

'Okay, thank you.' I sighed, not knowing what else I had expected. I stood up and started walking away, hoping to hide the expressions on my face.

'Freen?'

I turned around.

'If you want, I can pull Songjet off the case?' my boss offered, looking at me with compassion in his eyes.

'Thank you, sir.' I whispered.

Okey I'm going to update 5 chapters today. Just a warning :) enjoy! Comment guys if you can thanks!