The World Is Ugly (Gerard Way Fan Fic)

3:09

2 months later

I didn't realise the pressure that came with studying Art. Most people would tell me it would be a breeze and wave their hand dismissing my concerns. I still feel the same way about art but I have begun to slip into a mundane 'life-schedule' and I now consider if this is what I want to do with my life.

I walk back to my dorm from the cold crisp winter, walk past a drunk Gerard and enter my room. Pull out my piece which I have been working on and continue it, praying that I would meet the deadline. Sometimes I would take a few minutes to look at the Polaroid reference picture that Frank took and I would worry about Gerard.

I pull myself away from the painting which I still haven't named and begin making myself a cup of coffee. While the kettle chuffs away at its usual slow pace I look over at the clock and read it.

3:09 am

This causes me to inwardly groin and I crack my fingers one by one. Mentally cursing myself for buying a shit kettle I sit on the couch and wait for it to boil. My eyes droop at the lack of sleep I have been getting and I lean back, resting my head on the couch.

I hear the kettle whistle in the background but I ignore it like white noise. I hear the sound of keys opening the door and I assume its Sam. I snuggle down further into the couch and continue to block out the screams of the kettle.

"Fucking hell Rosie! Turn off the Goddamn kettle, get your shit together!" Sam yells at me as I slowly open my eyes, I watch him run over to the stove which is filled with water and angrily turns too stove off.

He huffs and storms off into his room. Personally I think that college stress is setting in and making our friendship strained but on the other hand he's most likely tired of my shit. I slowly get up and pour the boiling water into my favourite mug filled with coffee grind. I walk back over to my painting and analyse it while sipping my drink.

My mind traces back to Gerard and I wonder how he is. Although he's just across the hallway I can't seem to bring it to myself to see him. Throughout the week I would occasionally see him and his lifeless eyes.

Sam slumps over to me, snapping me out of thoughts. "Rose, go see him" he says aggressively and I slouch my shoulders. "Why Sam? What does it matter? The relationship is basically over! I was stupid and rushed into it too soon" I angrily cry out.

Sam makes an annoyed face and raises his voice and loudly says "for fucks sake Rosie! You care about him! If the relationship bothers you so much at least support him as a friend. Who the fuck knows where he's going to be next week".

I give his shoulder a push and shout. "Well it's easy for you to say! You basically haven't been here for weeks, maybe because you've been too busy picking up girls! Do you even care about our friendship?"

"Of course I care about our friendship Rose". I emotionally flinch, he only calls me 'Rose' when he's mad. "It kills me to see what you do to yourself and all because your parents couldn't do their job for two seconds! Do you even know how much it hurt me in high school to see them yell at you? Do you?"

He begins tugging at the roots of his hair which he does when he's stressed or angry. "I am so sorry that I couldn't do anything to stop it. But you need to take care of yourself and get your shit together. You don't live with them anymore! You live with me and you know that I would never say anything bad about you." He says to me raising his voice at various words.

Tears start pushing on the edges of my eyes threatening to burst out and I grip onto my mug harder. "Okay! Shit I'm sorry Sam. I am so fucking sorry that I'm such a fuck up. I'm sorry that I do the things that I do! I'm so goddamn sorry that I can't cope with my life... You know what! If it's too hard for you why don't you just leave! Go with one of your girls. Go live there and only pay a third of the rent. See how you would like it them" I yell back at him, then swiftly turn around with the mug still in my hand and flounce out of the room.