Kiss and Tell

Kiss & Tell - [Part Fifty]

Kiss & Tell
Copyright ©
Kiss & Tell - [Part Fifty]

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I don't wanna fall in love
If you don't wanna try

Say You Love Me - Jessie Ware

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One Week Later

I feel the air digging into my skin. I hear sounds thumping near my ears. I see images flashing inside my head. It's frustrating trying to breathe; trying to balance while falling.

So I stop. I close my eyes, and just stop.

I'm going to die.

---

I sit up in a flash and swallow down the scream that was threatening to escape my mouth. I breathe in and out, calming myself down. I could feel my heart quickly beating inside my chest, and for a single second, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

I push away the covers, and pull my legs to the floors. My hand blindly finds the lamp switch and I click it on as I get up and walk out of the room, suddenly the air inside the house causing me discomfort.

I have to leave.

This is all too much.

Again and again.

Nightmares clawing at my eyes every time they shut. I can't sleep without knowing that if I do, that if I just close my eyes, I'll see him again.

But maybe that's why I do it. No matter how many times they've given me sleeping pills, something that would knock me out into a dreamless calm, I refuse it. I refuse it because I want to see him, I want to see his beautiful brown eyes.

Even if it meant watching him fall off a roof over and over again.

I grab my shoes as I exist, and as I head down the hallway I glance at Cody's room which is still lit up. I'm not surprised. He's probably still playing online on his PlayStation and will continue to do so until sometime around five AM. So as I walk in front of his room, I tiptoe hoping he doesn't get curious and decide to open the door.

I make it safely and unnoticeably out the front door and quickly I head to my car. I don't know where exactly I'm going, but what I do know is that I can't be here, in this house, in that room, on that bed.

Just as I'm about to turn the keys into the ignition, the door opens and Cody hops into the passengers seat. I am quick to jump, half almost startled to death, and the other half extremely angry. I clutch my chest with one hand, and glare down Cody's calm demeanor. "God, Cody," I snap sarcastically. "Kill me, why don't you?"

He doesn't say anything for a few seconds, but then he looks up from playing with his hands. "Sorry," He mumbles out, sounding kind of apologetic. "So, where are we going?" He then asks as if he was invited.

"Get out," I say, unbuckling my seat belt so I could reach over his lap to open the door and kick him out. He stays firmly seated even as I try to shove him. I've learned long ago that I'm not really the muscly type so I stop and sit back in my seat with a long sigh. "I want to be left alone," I finally say. "Please leave."

Cody decides to ignore me. "We can go see him if you want," he says, tilting his head towards me, completely oblivious to what I had just said.

"No!" I snap, pushing his shoulder again. "I don't want to see him and I don't want to see you! Now leave!" I try to stay calm, but images of his face, his broken face, come flooding back into my brain faster than bullet could ever.