He Hates Me Or Does He?

PART 34: FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THE MUNDANE TASKS

It's been a usual routine now for me to first dedicate my 8 hours towards the studies, then carry on my shift and the rehearsal classes in between. All the didis come regularly to the library now which just gives me some dopamine to study harder so I can better perform my dances. I have been getting good compliments about my dance, seems like I had it hidden all along. It feels good to be at my schedule back again.

The horrors of Adarsh rarely haunt me now since he is already so far away with me and he has officially broken up too since I am big of a nerd for him and I have particularly observed him narrowing down other women in front of me. Some perverts remain perverts throughout life It seems. As for Adarsh, I wish he could acknowledge his problem and go to seek therapy. I don't know what has made him such an evil.

Anyways, What do I care about him anyway. Thinking random thoughts between the office hours has become my favourite hobby these days. I am stressing too much about my exam and the idea if I actually want to study for this. I am working on my research paper since I have got access to this great of a library and no doubt that the aura helps me a lot. I barely have to contribute more than 2 hours of my work. It gets pretty easy to manage the library during night hours and besides on the second floor, only good and dedicated learners come. The rest of the time, I just spend it on my research paper and contemplate Vihaan lol.

He is reading some classic and I just feel so sleepy just looking at that length. Not that heavy books bore me at all, but from the past few days, it's just books and readers that I see all along. It's heaven to me most of the times, but sometimes I just want to relax. My legs and arms hurt from the dance and workout that I've started doing these days. I feel sexier I won't lie. I started doing daily workout and now my body is getting toner day by day. If only things will go at this pace, I'll soon reach my goal of being at my fittest.

I all of a sudden start wondering about Adarsh. What is he actually thinking? I try to do his psychoanalysis time and again but I fail. The last time when we met on the top floor of library, he came to me and said," You know I am getting sick of you lately." His face looked angry and disgusted. Disgusted by me.

" What did I do?" I replied.
" You. What are you? What have you become? Where was that woman who loved me? Who was kind to me, who cherished me for what I was and understood what I really wanted. I see you rarely these days. What is your mind really at? You think you're the only one studying here or working for their goals? I think when I'll come here, you'll make me fall in love with you all over again. But just look at you, all I feel and smell when I meet you is a bored ass woman who is too lazy to give two fucks about anything or anyone. Also, when was the last time you painted that face since you loved doing that no. You loved my compliment afterwards. Huh?" He said. I don't know what angered him.

" Interests change Adarsh. I am just too much into myself than all the other things." I said

" What a lazy excuse." He said clenching his teeth.

" What have I done? All I am really doing is focusing on myself. I just enjoy being at this stage right now." I said calmly holding my anxiety down.

" Noo you have changed altogether. You used to be vibrant Anika. There used to be men behind you even when you were not at your fittest. You had that bubbliness, that chirpiness. Where it is anymore. There used to be a time when you used to enter the room and I used to feel like " Man she's pretty all way round". Where's that anymore? You barely dress up. Everytime I see you, you're in those bland attire and lost god knows where." He says trying to get sympathy for god knows what.

" Aadarsh. I have to do this for myself. And I don't have a problem in that. I feel comfortable like this. And the reason you don't feel anything is not because of me but because things are just over for us. When you asked me that I should be with you because of xyz reasons, I just followed you. I am trying to do everything that you say but what can I do anymore?" I say slightly sharply so that he just feels that I am too vulnerable and too boring. Nothing can help me now. I am depressed according to him.