𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 4

Inanimate Apologies

I never imagined it'd get to this point. What started as a casual night of drinking with friends rapidly turned into a contest and splurge as Leon's tab grew and grew. I nurse my second drink of the night compared to Leon's fifth as he stumbles back into the seat next to me on the bench, our cosy corner of the bar far away enough for Leon to feel comfortable slinging his arm around my shoulders and shuffling closer to my warmth, but far enough that he still glares at any man who dares to even look my way.

I snort as he reaches for his glass, fingers curling too soon as he tries to reach for it, and he ends up pushing it further away. Our friends are already deep in conversations, but I don't miss the way Claire's eyes dart in his direction, her lips curling in amusement as Leon frowns in offense at the glass' lack of magnetism. I smother a laugh and grab it for Leon, passing it to him as he takes it and narrows his eyes, searching for some logical explanation why it wouldn't cooperate. I usually get clingy but smart Leon, but tonight, like on the rare occasions, I get the silly, dumb and dumbstruck in love Leon.

"Are you sure you really need this last drink?" I softly ask, unable to hide my own amusement as Leon takes a few mouthfuls then tries to set it down on the table, but instead he ends up smacking it down with a thump. He nods, eyes almost closing as he gives me a big grin and lifts a hand, pinching my cheeks until my lips form a pout.

"I'm fiiine," he slurs, leaning in to kiss my nose before turning to our friends and clearing his throat, interrupting their talk, "I have the best girlfriend in the world, guys. She's always looking out for me, and I'd be lost without her. She's so pretty too, just like...like apple pie. Sweet and sugary, yummy too." Leon announces albeit loudly. I blush, but can't even bring myself to feel embarrassed as our friends nod along in agreement and encourage his theatrics. Leon only squeezes his arm around me tighter, planting another kiss on my eyelid instead of my forehead where he was aiming. I giggle, pushing him away as Leon pouts and leans his head on my shoulder, fingers linking with mine as they rest on the table. "I love your hands. They remind me of starfish."

I almost spit out my drink as I gulp it down, putting my glass aside as I arch a brow and turn to see Leon staring at our linked hands with a wonderstruck expression. "My hands...are like starfish?" I repeat as Chris just looks at Leon as if he's grown a second head, then subtly he grabs Leon's glass and pours the rest of his drink into his own half empty cup.

"Yeah." Leon nods, eyes widening in childlike excitement, "They're so...pointy and cute. If you were a starfish I think you'd be the coolest one. Like that starfish from that movie 'Help I'm A Fish." He muses. I blink at him, completely and utterly lost.

"Thanks." I reply as Leon nods seriously before our friends invite us back into the conversation. Leon gets invested in the talk, though his contributions are silly and random, we all seem to just go along with it and talk just as much shit as the evening passes. Finally, when we're mostly all getting tired and too drunk to function, we call it a night and begin to go our separate ways until next time. Leon and I are the last to leave as we pay our tab and begin to find the exit, but somehow Leon accidentally bumps into a potted plant on his way out. He catches it just in time, and immediately sets it right as I blow out a breath and tug him away as he pats down its leaves.

"Sorry buddy, didn't mean to hurt you. I'll leaf you alone now." Leon grins, looking all too pleased with himself as I let my eyes close as I wish for strength. I open my eyes to find Leon wiggling his eyebrows, expecting some kind of praise from his joke. I loop my arm through his, guiding him out of the bar as we weave past people and finally emerge into the night.

"That was a good one, baby." I murmur, patting his hand as he straightens just a little.

Leon leans on me more and more as we make our way down the streets and towards home, he stops to apologise to almost every inanimate object he bumps into, which includes mail boxes ("I've got to let-ter know I didn't mean to do that"), bins ("If I wasn't so trashed that wouldn't have happened") and the occasional lamppost ("lighten up, pal"). I barely smother my laughs as his frowns deepen and deepen, the poor man genuinely looks to confused as to why his girlfriend thinks his apologies are tear worthy. By the time we're home Leon's eyes are pretty much closed, and he's tripping over his own feet.

"Aren't you going to say sorry to them?" I joke as I nod to Leon's feet. He blows out a breath, shaking his head as he mumbles something about it being their own fault as he tries to drag himself into our bedroom. I guide him, my stomach aching from the laughter as he flops onto the bed, immediately grabbing a pillow and shoving it over his head as he groans.

"Bad Leon." He mumbles. "I shouldn't have drank so much."

"I don't know," I smile, "I feel like it was worth it."

He lifts a hand, flipping me off before blindly reaching out and wrapping his fingers around my wrist, with his strength he yanks me onto the bed, arms encasing me as I land on him with an 'oof'. I don't even bother to try and get up, Leon's clingy and already half asleep. Instead I just grab a blanket, covering us both as he hums and nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck, and slides my head onto the pillow he had hold of. I get comfy, feeling content with the position as Leon begins to snore.

Despite the hardwork and ridiculousness, I meant it when I said it was worth it. My boyfriend might apologise to objects and tell terrible jokes, but he's also got a heart of gold and a joy I wouldn't trade for the world.