Niall Horan Imagines and Preferences

He Finds Out

You didn't know what to say or how to say it. You had been holding in the dark secrets of sexual abuse for so long, and recently they had been flooding back, leaving you in tears in the middle of the night because of a nightmare.

Niall had asked you so many times if you wanted to talk about it, but you would keep making up some excuse so he wouldn't worry. The last thing you wanted was for your boyfriend to worry over you and ask questions. You didn't want him to think that you were dirty or anything of that sorts.

'C'mon (Y/N), just tell him,' you thought to yourself, walking into the living room where he was sitting watching TV. "Niall, I need to talk to you," you said. There was no turning back now.

"Yeah of course princess, what's up?" he smiled softly, flicking the television off and turning to give you room next to him on the couch. With a small smile, you came to sit next to him, keeping your body tensed.

"Okay... so... " you took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment. "Those nightmares that I get? They aren't just like... scary monsters and getting chased..." you started, opening your eyes again to look at him. He had a confused, but gentle look on his face as he nodded, urging you to continue. "I mean, it is a monster, but not like... you know. Anyways. When I get these nightmares, it takes me back to a nightmare I physically lived." You had to stop for a minute before you dropped the bomb.

"Princess, it's okay," Niall said softly, taking your hands slowly in his.

"Niall, when I was 10, my older brother, he... he used to take advantage of me. He would come into my room once my parents would asleep and like... touch me and everything. When I was 11, he actually did it... he had sex with me... I didn't want it, I told him no, I screamed... Or at least I tried to, he had his hands over my mouth. I don't remember everything because his hand would be over my mouth, and I could barely breathe so I would pass out. I told my parents and everything, but they were so far into denial that they refused to say anything to him. He was the token boy, middle child... I thought about going to my oldest sister but she was so far away that it wouldn't have worked. Now that you know... Just... please try to understand if I ever get upset during intimate contact. It's not you I promise..."

At this point, Niall's face was unreadable. He held a blank stare on his face, his hands loose in yours.

The first thought that ran through your head was that he was going to get up and leave. That was always your first thought, and it was what had kept you from telling him all the times before.

"Niall...?" you asked softly, swiping your thumb over his knuckles softly.

His eyes finally met with yours, and they were wide with fear. "Babe, I... I don't know what to say..." he mumbled out, his hands tightening around you. "I understand love, I do I just... I wish you had told me earlier... I've been asking for so much from you intimately and I had no idea... I'm so sorry this happened to you. And it's not you either it's... it's him. It's all his fault..."

"Now you can see why I don't like going to my family's house either," you mumbled, pursing your lips.

"No, I totally get it, it's okay," he sighed, moving slightly closer to you, making sure it wasn't going to break any of your boundaries.

"Thank you," you smiled slightly at him, running your thumbs over his knuckles again. "I am working on trusting you, I already do so much, you haven't done anything to show that I shouldn't."

"You take your time princess, there's no rush okay?" Niall smiled softly, not really knowing what he should do right now. "Can I kiss you?" he asked shyly.

Nodding, you gently pressed your lips against his, pulling back after a couple of moments. "It was a long time ago love, kissing and hugging aren't much of an issue for me, don't worry," you chuckled softly.

What mattered most to you was that he understood, and he was willing to hold off on anything sexually intimate. Knowing that he didn't judge and didn't see you any differently would definitely help you progress in your recovery.