Check Yes, Juliet

Meraki

It's two days before the wedding and it's been a week since I've talked to Chris. I cried some more that night, but I've been dry ever since then. I'm finally starting to move on. I'm sleeping on Jenna's couch, completely wrapped up in my own dream when there is a sudden weight on me and then my body is bouncing on the couch.

I quickly open my eyes and look up to see Jenna on top of me. "WAKE UP WAKE UP." She screams.

I try to sit up but she's still jumping on me. "Well get off first!"

She does, but she starts pacing and breathing heavily. "What am I thinking?" She asks.

I look at the clock and it's five in the morning. I rub my eyes and shrug. "I don't know either it's super early."

It's like she doesn't hear me. "I can't get married!"

I stop and look up at her. Is she sick...is she feeling ok? "Um...what?"

"I mean, I just turned 17, I'm not ready for marriage or kids or settling down. I want to travel! I want to live life! I can't get married!"

"Whoa, slow down." I stand up and block her from pacing in my direction. "You love Jesse."

"Yeah but I don't want to get married yet!"

"Yes you do! You two are perfect for each other, and I know that if you don't marry him on Saturday, you're going to regret it."

"But what about living life!" She screams.

"You can still do that with him! He wants to do those things with you! And just because you're married doesn't mean you have to settle down. You can travel and you can worry about kids when you're 30!"

"I don't know." She says shaking her head.

I sigh, I guess this is what they call wedding jitters. "Who are you marrying?"

"What?"

"You heard me, answer the question."

She sighs. "Jesse."

"And do you love Jesse?" She nods, she's stopped pacing now and watches me. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I figure it'll come to me soon enough. "Do you think there is the possibility of being with anyone else?"

She shakes her head. "Of course not."

"Is there any doubt in your mind that he loves you?"

"No." She whispers.

"Then this is your chance. If you back out now, there might be another one, but this is so early. It's perfect for you two. You don't want anyone else and so holding off on marriage is stupid."

She stares at me, nods, and then walks back into her room. I sigh and rub my forehead. Is this what every maid of honor has to do? At five in the morning? I crawl back on the couch and put the blanket over my face. That was an intense two minutes.

When I wake up the second time, there is coffee and egos in front of me. I sit up and Jenna is sipping her coffee quietly beside me. She looks over and smiles sheepishly. "Sorry about before."

"It's ok, it's normal."

"Yeah, but not for me! I love Jesse, I want to marry him so badly. I don't know what came over me, it was just this sudden fear that I would lose out on all life has to offer."

"Honestly? I wish I was in your situation. You have someone to share what life has to offer with. I don't have that, neither does Anne, Jade, or Ian. We are all waiting for someone and you just...have it! And he was your first boyfriend. You got so lucky."