Alex's Redemption (girlxgirl)

Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

-----------------------------------------FLASHBACK-----------------------------------------

I went home that day crying. I didn't expect it. I felt like I was stabbed 9999 times. That painful. I begged her. I asked her for a second chance but that she just refused. I was questioning everything. "If I communicated with her properly, would things be different?" "If I just went home every weekend, would she still break up with me?" "Did I make her feel unloved?" "What the fuck did I do?".

"Hey buddy. I'm here at home. And Alice just broke up with me. We're done. Where are you? Can you can come over? Let's drink." I called my best friend Haley to vent out.

"Hi buddy. I'll be over in 10." Haley gave me a quick reply and hanged up. I seriously didn't know what to do know. How do you even handle a break up? How can I move on from this? Can I even handle this? I have questions. Questions that I don't even know if there's an answer to.

10 minutes later and my best friend arrived. We're not the hugging best friends type but when she entered my place the first thing she did was hug me. We then went into the balcony of my room bringing a bottle of unopened scotch. I was drinking and crying.

Next morning I woke up in the balcony holding an empty bottle of scotch and 10 bottles of beer surrounding me. "Hail, what happened last night?" She scratched her head thinking of what happened. "Oh yeah I remember now. She broke up with me."

I spent my vacation getting drunk and partying. I don't see a point in living. I continued my ways when I got back in LA. Almost a year of partying, getting drunk, doing drugs, sleeping around and neglecting my classes. I failed almost all of my classes. I passed some through charming my professors to let me retake a test or give me extra credit. I didn't see Alice the whole year. And everyday I try to kill myself by doing drugs, partying and drinking.

Everything changed when I went to a vacation with my parents. They called me one night asking me if I wanna go to the holy land with them. Maybe they realized that I was throwing my life away or something. All I know is that they asked me the moment I was about to jump off a cliff (that's a metaphor).

I didn't know why I immediately said yes. Maybe because I also saw how everything I do is starting to affect me. I flew back to New York Summer of 2008, a week before our trip. I wanted to spend time with my friends whom I neglected the moment I got back to LA after that dreadful break up.

To: The cool crew (Haley, Brianna, Angela, & Vanessa)

Guess who's back and totally missed you guys!!!!!! Xx

From: Brianna

Omg. Where are u?

From: Angela

Wow u're still alive! Where to?

From: Vanessa

Who are you? Jk! Missed you too bitchhhh

From: Haley

Oh u still remember me. Wow. Just wow.

I then called Haley to apologize. For not texting and calling. And for totally disappearing from her life. She forgave me but I know she still feels bad. So I asked her if we could go to that same night since I wanted to catch up and probably drink.

We went out to dinner that night to iron out our friendship. I wanted her back in my life. After dinner we went to a club. I don't know if I drank too many shots of tequila and it was all my imagination or did I really see Diana pushing Alice to the direction of where I was. One thing is for sure though she was there and she was looking at me kissing some other girls. I didn't care though. Yeah I still love her and I still wanted her back but I was not going to embarrass myself again for her. Not in this lifetime.

"Dude was Alice really trying to talk to me last night or was it my imagination? Do you think I can come to her place now or just give her a call to ask her if she wanted to talk? What do you think?" I asked Haley.

"Stop hurting yourself. MOVE ON, ALEX. It's over. You and Alice, it's old news. Please. Don't make this harder for you." Haley gave it to me straight to the point.

It hit me. It hit me how much I was ruining myself just because of a love that consumed me. I realized how much I needed this trip to find myself. To try and get back. To be the Alex everybody knows me to be. I know I'm stronger than this. I can bounce back from all this crap happening in my life.