Alex's Redemption (girlxgirl)

Chapter 17

|ALEX'S POV|

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – YEAR 2014

"And that was our story. I never had any encounters with her ever since. Yes I saw her maybe once when I went to NY for a quick stop a year after I left but never face to face. She was like 2 streets away from me and I wouldn't have even noticed if my friend didn't point her out." I said to Natalie after telling her the story of my greatest love.

"Didn't your friends tell you anything about her?" She asked.

"They did, I just didn't care anymore. You know I've always believed that when you love someone so much, at one point of your life, you have to set her free and the hardest part is that, you will realize that you won't fall in love in the same time. She might fall in love with someone before you even meet your next love, and seeing her with someone is the most painful thing you'd ever go through but then after that you realize that everything happens for a reason. Right love, wrong time. Time is a bitch." I replied with tears on my eyes.

"Why haven't you loved ever since?" She then said.

"I haven't met the right person?" I wasn't even sure if that's the real answer because I feel like I'm lying.

"Seriously? You're giving me that bull? Again, why haven't you opened your heart since?" She then asked again not contented with my answer.

"Okay I'll try to give you the best possible answer that I can. Hmm, I've never fallen in love again ever since because I'm scared. I spent too much time hardening my heart that now it's very difficult for me to try to soften it. I turned myself into a stone; I don't feel emotions concerning love, to be honest, I never even had a real crush after her. It was either a celebrity or someone that's totally fictional but never a real person. I'm scared of getting hurt and I understand that pain is something that is connected with love. I'm unsure if I'm willing to go through that much again." With full honesty I looked at her and muttered those words.

"Do you want to fall in love again then?" She looked me in the eyes and asked me the question that I didn't know if I know the answer to.

"Yes. No. Maybe. I'm not yet sure." I was really unsure of everything. I mean yes I liked Natalie but I wasn't even sure if that like is enough for my heart to be open to the idea of love again. My first real heartbreak was painful and after everything I still wasn't ready for anything.

The saddest part about this is that I don't even know if I still love Alice. I mean yes, she crossed my thoughts once or twice but everytime someone asks me if there's a chance that I would pursue her again I always say no. In the back of my head though, the real answer is maybe.

Natalie left after about 2 hours of just talking. She said she was leaving for 3 weeks for Europe that involves work and it was okay with me. She's a good friend and I think there's a chance that I might fall for her.

After the crying session, I then went to bed and woke up to a very irritating sound of my phone. I declined the call because I wanted to sleep but when I pressed decline I saw 21 missed calls from my mom, 10 from my brother and 18 voicemails from them combined. I then gave her a call back wondering why they called me.

"Mom what's up? What's happening?" I asked suddenly feeling the rush of nervousness in my system.

"You have to come home. You have to go back here in NY. The doctor said your grandmother only has a month left to live." Mom said crying.

"WHAT?! WHY?" I started crying too. I was close with my grandmother and I can't believe that her health will be the reason why I'm going home after 4 years of not setting foot there.

I guess it's time to go home and face NY once again. I could use all my vacations and take 2 months off of work so that I could be with my grandmother and also support my best friend's event. And possibly attend the reunion.

Same day I went to see my boss and talked to him about taking a leave so that I could go back home. He allowed me but he wants me to co-manage the project via skype or facetime and work at our New York office as a consultant. It was fine with me since I was getting paid by being a consultant and besides we need more people to be able to make their own decisions without me so that if I ever leave this company, they'll still be the best in here.

"Mom, I already booked a flight. Can you send someone to pick me up the day after tomorrow at 9pm? Also, I'm staying at the condo I bought in Manhattan. I still need to work. My boss said I would come in every other day at our NY office and my place is closer to the office than the house. I need a car though, can I borrow one of yours?" I called my mom informing her about my flight details and when I would be arriving.

"Of course sweetheart. Do you want the Range Rover or the BMW?" She then replied.

"Anything, I really don't mind. See you tomorrow, Mom!" I put down the phone and told Haley about me leaving early morning next day.

"Do you want me to go?" Haley asked.

"Nah, it's fine. I guess I'll see you at the reunion?" I then hugged her.

"Yeah see you in two months. And hey, it's time to face everything you ran away from. You can do this." Haley then went to her room and I started packing my clothes.

"Time to face the reality. I can do this."