HAKUOUKI: Back in Time

Chapter 55

~Why not listen to music while you read?~

"What?!" Every face turned to Saito, shocked.

"Why the hell did you do that?!"

"I had no choice but I do not regret my decision."

Hijikata was silent for several moments. "Hm. You too, huh." That was all he said.

"You've made an excellent decision, Saito. Welcome to the fold." Something about Sanan's smile made my skin crawl. He's gotten weirder ever since taking that poison. Heisuke on the other hand, looked away, his eyes sad.

"Done catching up? Good. Get your stuff together. Looks like we're being put on a boat for Edo."

"What? Why Edo?" Chizuru asked. Their faces fell when she spoke.

"Our supreme commander, in his infinite wisdom and compassion has abandoned his men and left them to fight and die on his behalf. He ran back to Edo a long time ago. I just about lost my shit when we heard about that. I mean, come on, have you ever heard of a war where the guy who started it runs away as soon as people start fighting? Sure makes our future an exciting place though, doesn't it?"

"Oh no..."

Inoue had died and Yamazaki had been wounded. Though they were the only ones I knew, I had little doubt that many other men had fought for the shogun and been wounded or killed. And instead of staying to support his army, he had abandoned them to their fate and been the first to run to safety in Edo? It was awful...

"...The shogun abandoned us..." Saito repeated the words to himself, almost as if he couldn't quite bring himself to believe them.

Hijikata shrugged. "I figure he's got his reasons. Politics isn't our problem. All we do is fight with honor."

"Yes. You're right..." He nodded, his face as placid as ever, but in his eyes I could see defeat and despair.

The Shinsengumi retreated by ship from Osake Bay while I went back to Yase Village to say my farewells. It was hard to leave the Princess but it was even harder to leave the Shinsengumi. I met up with the Shinsengumi later in Edo to find out that Yamazaki's wounds didn't heal properly and grew worse during the voyage and eventually passed away. He was buried at sea. Kondou's shoulder hadn't fully healed but he got out of bed to read a memorial passage in memory of Yamazaki and his service to the Shinsengumi. Tears rolled down his face as he read. Inoue was dead, and now so was Yamazaki... 

Our friends were dying off one by one. Saito still had his life, but he'd been forced to sacrifice his humanity for it.

February 1868

After arriving in Edo, we were ordered to set up our new headquarters in one of the hatamoto mansions. We heard rumors everywhere about the Satsuma-Choshu Alliance. I tried not to think about the loss at Toba-Fushimi but the events insisted on replaying themselves in my mind.

Heisuke and Sanan had been busy, working to strengthen the Rasetsu Corps after it's near destruction. I wasn't sure how they planned to strengthen it but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know. Most frustrating, however, was that I felt very useless.

On a day just past the middle of February, I heard voices carried by the wind as the slipped through the gaps in the door. They were chanting "Isn't it great" over and over. We'd been in Edo for nearly a month by then. I gazed out the window and thought back on what had happened.

"Man, they're making a racket out there. 'Isn't it great, isn't it great...' It doesn't really sound like they really mean it, you know?"

"Well, maybe they probably want to forget about their problems and dance like maniacs. After all, who knows when the rebels might attack?"

"Wanna go dance too, Sano? We can draw faces on your stomach around your scar! I'm sure you'll get all sorts of looks from the ladies!"

"Bastard... You must really wanna pay for your own booze today. Just when I was thinking of treating you too..."

"Whoa, whoa, calm down! I was just kidding around, Sano! You know me, I'm just a crazy Edo boy! I say all sorts of shit I don't mean!"

"Are you guys going out?"

"Yup. I don't heal well when I'm locked up with a bunch of men. If Hijikata comes back, think you could tell him I'm...uh...attending my parent's' funeral or something?"

"Uh...alright..."

"Okay Haruna, think you can keep an eye on this place for us while we're gone?"

"Sure. Have fun..." They walked out the door together, laughing and joking. Lately they'd been spending a lot of time out drinking or visiting Yoshiwara. They acted cheerful but I knew the loss at Toba-Fushimi had hurt them as much as everyone else. Kondou's shoulder had finally healed so he was up and about again but... Kondou and Hijikata's work had developed  into negotiations with the shogunate's top ministers which meant that the busiest person in the mansion was usually...

"Haruna... Do you know where the ink and inkstone are?"

"Hijikata's room, I think? But he'll probably get angry if you use it without his permission. Hold on a moment... I think we may have another set somewhere around here. Let me go have a look..."

"Very well. The sooner, the better..."

"Is this alright?"

"Yes." Saito nodded briefly, took the inkstone and immediately began scraping away at it. Next to him sat a massive pile of papers that had yet to be bound and filed.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, not particularly."

"Are you sure? This is just so much to do on your own..."

"I have it under control. You need only worry about your own tasks."

"But I've already done everything I need to. I can help. Please just give me something to do."

He turned and looked at me, his eyes flat and unreadable. After a second or two, he spoke. "Fine. Will you help me bind these then? You can find string and and awl over there."

"Okay." I gathered my tools and several sheaves of paper and set to binding them. The sound of Saito scraping the inkstone drifted softly through the quiet room, accompanied by the quiet rustle of paper. It had been more than a month since he'd become a rasetsu, which meant being up and about during the day should have been painful. So far, however, he 'd shown no sign of discomfort. He seemed so normal, I almost felt as if watching him become a rasetsu had been some horrible nightmare... But it wasn't. He had become a monster that night. I had seen it with my own eyes.