HAKUOUKI: Back in Time

Chapter 70

~Why not listen to music while you read?~

July 1868

While we were on our way to Aizu, many things began to change. The soldiers who had been working to overthrow the shogunate started claiming that they were officially sanctioned by the government and we were branded as rebels and traitors. The Shinsengumi came under attack in Nagareyama and scattered. We lost contact and none of our remaining forces knew what the others were doing, or even if they were still alive. The best we could do was to move forward and hope for the best.

Saito gathered what men he had left and made for Aizu. We heard that the mean who fought against the Kouyou Regulatory Company headed north to fight against men from the northeast. The Aizu Domain was seeing worse of the fighting. I held on to the silent hope that Nagakura and Harada might return t the Shinsengumi, but they never did.They later joined with another group of men and headed for Aizu themselves. Such was the situation when we finally arrived in Aizu with what remained of the Shinsengumi.

The wind blowing down from the mountains was so cold, it was hard to believe that it was only July. I wonder how long I have been here now. How many years has it been? At least summer in Aizu was much less taxing than it had been in Edo or Kyoto. The songs of birds and the chirping of insects filled the air as we continued our march. It was on one fine day that we encountered a man we hadn't seen in months. Hijikata, and Heisuke! Chizuru!

"Been awhile. Sorry for being late."

"We were starting to get worried you might have been rubbed out by the Imperial Army before we could meet up with you. Should've known Hajime wouldn't screw up like that though! Heisuke grinned and let out a laugh. It looked like he was feeling much better than he had when we last parted.

"I'm so glad all of you are safe!" I smiled and gave Chizuru a small hug but Saito frowned.

"Commander... What happened to your leg?" 

I was so happy to see them, I didn't notice that Hijikata had been favoring his left leg.

"This? Just a scratch I got at Utsunomiya. Doesn't hurt much, but I guess I might not be able to run as fast as I used to. Little annoying..." He smiled, although it didn't seem to me like there was anything to smile about in our situation. "Saito... I heard all about the fighting you have been doing. They're talking about you all over."

"I..." Saito slumped. "... Shirakawa Castle, the center of our defense, was lost. We couldn't retake the castle. Ultimately, we had no choice but to retreat. I'm...I'm not sure how much longer the line can hold now." His face was taut as he spoke and when he finished, his gaze fell to the ground and stayed there.

Hijikata, however, only smiled sadly. "You did good."

What happened to him? He used to be so cold and intimidating, or at least I felt like he was. Now, though, he seemed almost kind. What had happened while we were apart that had changed him so utterly? 

After another moment of awkward silence, Saito finally asked the question that we all feared the answer to. "Commander, what happened to Chief Kondou?"

Hijikata let out a long and tired sigh. When he spoke, his voice was clipped and cold. "I couldn't help him."

Saito's face fell. Deep down, we had all felt it even before he spoke, but to be faced with the stark, undeniable truth was something else entirely. I felt as if a great and powerful hand had wrapped itself around my chest and began to squeeze. Saito swallowed and blinked. "Did he...take his own life?"

Hijikata shook his head. "No. They cut off his head." His voice shook as he spoke. Even though either one was a death sentence, for a samurai, the difference between being beheaded and being given the chance to cut himself open was like night and day. Since before anyone could remember, it had been said that a person's soul resided in their stomach. By cutting open his stomach, the home of his soul, a samurai claimed innocence, and earned honorable death. It was far more painful than having one's throat slit or head chopped off, but the willingness to suffer through that pain symbolized the true warrior spirit. To beheaded, however, was nothing more than a punishment.You were offered no honor, nor a chance to redeem yourself. Your head was simply separated from your body.

"Kondou asked them to let him do it but those goddamn sons of bitches told him..." He choked on the words and I could hear his teeth as the ground together in fury and despair. Then he took a deep breath, set his jaw, and spoke, though his voice still trembled. "They told him that a farmer doesn't get to ask to die like a samurai. How the fuck can they call themselves men after that, I..." His hands balled into white knuckled, shaking fists.

Never before had I seen Hijikata so upset... for Kondou and Hijikata, who had been born sons of farmers and aspired to become samurai, nothing could have been more horrible. Hijikata almost seemed to be on the verge of tears and if he had been alone, I suspect he would have cried.

Saito seemed at a loss for words. He stared blankly for several long moments before he finally spoke. "...I see. The chief must have been filled with regret."

Hijikata glared up at Saito. "No. Not regret."

Saito's eyes went wide.

"When those bastards told him they were going to chop off his head, I would bet money they were hoping to see him cry and beg for mercy and piss himself. But I heard he didn't cry our run away or even tell 'em what a pack of ignorant sons of whores they were. No, he just said, 'Oh, I see. I understand.' and gave 'em that smile of his and that was it. Then he asked if he could shave before they did it, 'cause it seemed like it would be rude to the king of the underworld to show up in his house with half a beard. Can you believe that? After what they did to him... I don't give a damn what anyone else says. That man was a true warrior. How many people have the balls to look death in the face and say something like that?"

Saito hung his head in silence. Hijikata's words drove a dagger into my heart but  then what could he have said the wouldn't?

"Commander! I've just received order from the main Aizu army! We have been ordered to depart immediately. We're returning to the front to retake Shirakawa Castle!" Shimada had run all the way back to us and he bent over for a moment to catch his breath.

~Feel free to comment!~

X So I realized I had an order problem where I skipped 59. I just fixed it and I hope nothing else is all wonky I really do. X