HAKUOUKI: Back in Time

Chapter 69

~Why not listen to music while you read?~

That was the longest day of my life. My mind ran through numerous scenarios, all of them ending horribly. I tried my hardest to remind myself that Kondou and Hijikata were accomplished swordsmen and that they would survive and catch up to us. However, as the day stretched on, it grew harder and harder to believe that might actually happen.

"Sorry it took us so long."

"Never thought we'd end up leaving our headquarters like this."

"Hijikata! Heisuke!" My heart leaped to see them standing before me, safe and sound. "Thank goodness you're alright!"

Heisuke quickly explained that he had been following Sanan and met up with Hijikata after we had left. "I protected him and helped him get out of there! Pretty bad ass huh?!" He grinned but it was painfully clear that he was trying to lighten an exceedingly dark mood.

Hijikata sighed. "I didn't think Sanan was that far gone..."

After what we heard Sanan say as we left the mansion, it wasn't hard to guess what had happened. Hijikata looked more drained than I had ever seen him. "This is all my fault, isn't it? I knew he was killing people for their blood. But I let it slide. I should have done something..."

"It's not just you. I didn't do anything to stop him either. I'm sure we could have turned him around if we had stopped him early enough... But I chose to act like there was nothing I could do. I told myself I was too busy to help him. And now it's too late" Heisuke half fell, half sat, and let his whole body droop. It looked as if he was about to cry. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "Where did Sanan go wrong? He drank the Ochimizu because he couldn't use his sword anymore and he thought that without his sword, he'd be useless to the Shinsengumi. But he was still a warrior, even if he couldn't hold a sword."

Our thoughts were all dark ones. If only we had done this, or talked to him on that day, or realized something else... Hindsight showed our mistakes in painful clarity.

Saito had stayed quiet for most of our commiserating but at least, he spoke up. "Commander... Where is our chief?" No one had brought it up because we all suspected we knew the answer.

Hijikata frowned, his mouth almost painfully tight. He stared down at the ground and was silent for so long we began to wonder if he had heard Saito's question by the time he finally spoke. "Kondou was captured. He did it so I could get away."

No one said anything. In many ways, that was worse than what we had imagined... In Kyoto, the Shinsengumi, led by Kondou, had killed hundreds of imperial nationalists. They had nothing but hate for the Shinsengumi, and for god reason. Death in battle would have been sad, but it would have been fast and honorable. In the hands of men who hated him and everything he stood for, what horrible fate awaited Kondou? I refused to believe in my history textbooks. It couldn't be true. It can't.

But when Hijikata looked up I could see a fire burning in his eyes. "But he's not dead yet. We still got a chance. I'm not gonna sit on my ass and watch him die. I'm damn stubborn and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get him out of this." It sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince us. "Saito. Can you take the mean to Aizu?"

"Yes, but-"

"Don't worry about it Hijikata. I'll protect 'im." Heisuke grinned and thumped his fist against his chest. I couldn't tell if Saito was relieved by Heisuke's bravado or not, but it seemed to satisfy something.

"Very well. We will move on then, to Aizu."

"Good. I trust you, Saito."

That night, couldn't seem to fall asleep. Even after everyone had drifted off, I lay there wide awake and thinking. I stared up at the night sky, thoughts running through my mind at breakneck speed. I wasn't sure how long I lied there before I heard someone get up. Pretending to turn in my sleep, I moved myself to try and see who else was having trouble. It was Saito.