HAKUOUKI: Back in Time

Chapter 67

~Why not listen to music while you read?~

After the decision was made up to leave for Aizu, activity at the headquarters ramped up. There were so few people left in the upper echelons that a small group was forced to handle all the important tasks that needed doing.

"Hey, Saito. Are you alright? Maybe you should rest a bit. I mean, you were working really late last night." 

"We have a great deal to do and not much time in which to do it. I have no time to rest." He looked as if he might collapse any minute, but it didn't seem to slow him down. I needed this determination during my time at school.

" I still think your should rest. If you can't sleep during the day, then at least sleep at night, like everyone else."

"I do find myself especially tired during the day... But I'm much stronger and faster than when I was human."

Wanting to face-palm myself, I argued back again. "That's not the point." Saito's health was clearly still low on his list of priorities; if it was on his list that is. He might be more powerful than his former self, but that didn't mean he could just ignore the condition of his body. The way he talked sounded as if he saw himself as nothing more than a tool, like a sword, or a suit of armor. Deep in thought, he started to speak again.

"Besides, if I were to stop, then the Shinsengumi..."

"Hmm? Did you say something?"

"Nothing..." He fell silent for a moment. "Guh!" He staggered, as if his balance was suddenly gone.

"Saito?! What's wrong?!" I used my body to support his, but he didn't seem to notice. His lips had turned pale and his breath was a painful rasp. "Are you alright? Hold on, okay? Just lie down, hm? I'll go make your bed.

But he shook his head. "No, I'm fine. If I give it a moment. it'll pass." He attempted to move away from my support but he barely had the energy to stand. Walking was out of the question. Why won't you listen to me? Then suddenly his hair was white and he screamed in agony.

I see. This was happening to Saito because the part of him that was a rasetsu was desperate for blood. Perhaps if I gave him some, the pain would stop. I didn't know if it would really help, but it was all I could do. "Saito, please. Drink my blood."

He jumped. "This is an emergency right? You have to regain your strength..." He was still leaning heavily on my shoulder and he winced with every breath. I drew my sword and made a small cut on my neck. Warm blood followed the cool pain of the blade. "It's alright. You should feel better if you just drink some. I put my arm around him and lifted my neck toward his face. 

His cool lips touched my neck and I shivered. Rough breath tickled me as he began to drink quietly but after his breathing slowed, and the shaking faded away to nothing, I felt my heart sigh in relief. At least he is alright now. That was when I noticed something strange. My cut had healed and closed but Saito's lips and tongue hadn't left my neck. 

"Um, Saito? I...think its all healed now..." The hand he placed on my head as he drank twitched. "Was that not enough blood? I can make another cut-"

"Ah!" He stepped back suddenly and violently, shoving my arms away. "Wh-What's wrong?! What is it?"

"My-My apologies." Saito looked uncharacteristically shaken.

"What do you want me to do? Do you need more blood?" I asked.

Refusing to look into my eyes Saito spoke. "No, I... I had enough."

"Really? Are you sure? If you need more, you just have to ask, you know." 

"R-Right. Okay..." He was acting very strange and he looked extremely uncomfortable, but the color was starting to come back into his face. Whatever it was. It didn't seem to be too serious.

We had been in the Kaneko mansion in Nagareyama for nearly a week now. All of the soldiers that had come with us spent most of their time out "drilling." I wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but from the snippets of conversations I had picked up, it was likely training in both western weapons and tactics. Since we had come to Nagareyama, Kondou had grown more depressed and taciturn, or at least so it had seemed to me. Sanan on the other hand...

He had been spending more and more time out of the mansion, and eventually, I stopped seeing him around, even during the night. Everyone in the Shinsengumi was working their hardest to win the fight against the Imperial Army but... Ah no time to think about that now. I should serve the tea now.

"Would you like some tea Saito?" He was swamped with work, as usual.

"...Do you think you could take it to the chief instead?"

"But I gave Kondou some tea earlier. You shouldn't push yourself so hard all the time you know. I know it's hard, but if you think about it, it would probably make you more productive."

Saito fell silent. I placed the tea cup on his desk, where it sat for several minutes, steam curling gently from it's mouth. Eventually, he turned, looked at it, and then took a sip.

"You know, you're really busy. It seems you have more work to do than when we were back in Edo."

He gazed down at the floor and said nothing for several long seconds. When he did speak, it was with a quiet emotion that I couldn't quite identify. "And I thought that the Shinsengumi was a place where true warriors could gather. After I was expelled from my domain, my sword meant nothing. It was the Shinsengumi who saw potential in me and put me back on the right path. I thought myself dead as a warrior but they brought life to that part of me. But now... Shinpachi and Sano, men who I considered to be true warriors have left. Even Kondou is losing the will to fight... The Shinsengumi, Shinpachi, Sano, Kondou... I thought they were united by the warrior spirit I sought after, but now they have split. Why..?"

His voice was flat, though that was nothing unusual. What was strange was the sudden, melancholy that I heard as well. Shiei Hall and the Shinsengumi had accepted Saito for who he was. The claws had spent a lifetime sharpening only to find them rejected had been welcomed. But now, all of that was beginning to crumble. The Shinsengumi had not been a part of his life but it had been his life. And now it was disappearing.

"Well, I don't really know much about how to be a warrior but, I don't think there's only one right answer."

He stared at me. "Nagakura found the answer to his question and for him, it was the truth. I think Kondou is trying to find his own answers too. But both of their answers are right. Just maybe not for each other. If two right answers don't match up, it doesn't necessarily mean one of them is wrong. But it might mean they have to go their separate ways."

"I see... Then the true answer can only be found in one's self..." He sighed. What was Saito's answer. I wonder... Would he stay to fight with the Shinsengumi, alongside Kondou and Hijikata? Or would he choose to forgo that companionship in favor of honing his skill with a blade? I looked hard at his face but if he knew what path he meant to take, there was no sign of it.

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