Forthright (Sequel of Silenced)

Chapter 4

Leidi

That night, I feel extremely cold. It's almost as cold as Jotunheim. In my room at least. I don't mind the cold. But it's strange how only my room is cold. It isn't even Yule yet. I see a flicker of movement in the mirror.

I get off of the bed and approach it slowly. I look at my reflection and I see Loki again. I rub my eyes and look again. It's still Loki. But he's in his Jotunn form. I look at myself and see I'm the same. I press my hand to the mirror, but he doesn't repeat my gesture.

He look at me longingly. "Loki," I breathe. "Leidi," he says. "You're alive," I say. "No, Leidi. I'm sorry," he looks down. "Then how are you here?" I ask. He stands unmoved. "Loki?" I say, "what is the matter?" "I've hurt you haven't I?" He says. "What makes you say that?" I say. "I see your pain, Leidi. I feel your grief and agony. I see your tears. You dress as a widow," he says, "Tell me I haven't hurt you."

"You haven't. Loki, I'm fine," I say. "Do not lie to the God of Lies," he says retuning to his Aesir form. I don't do the same. I like my Jotunn form. "I am fine, Loki. And as for the dress, it was a prank. Someone switched out my wardrobe with widow's clothes," I say.

"Who?" He says. I shrug. "Leidi?" Thor opens the door, "who are you speaking with?" "Loki," I say, pointing to the mirror. I look back and see my own reflection. I'm still in my Jotunn form. "You need rest Leidi," he says.

"He was there. I saw him, brother," I say. He looks at me like I've lost my head. "You look very much like him. You probably saw yourself," he says. "I'm not insane, brother." "I never said you were." "He was there." "Get some sleep, sister."

He reaches for my hand, but I pull it away. "Don't touch me, brother," I say. "Sister?" "I will harm you. I am a frost giant." He nods and places his hand on my back, which is protected by the cape.

He gestures for me to lie down. I do and he tucks me under the covers, kissing my forehead briefly. "Good night, sister." "To you as well, brother."

He shuts the door and leaves me in the room. With his helmet on my head and his cape on my back, I curl up and shut my eyes and fall asleep.

____________________________________

I wake up to knocking at the door. My eyes are covered by the helm. The door open and Thor enters. "Sister, awaken," he shakes me gently. "Brother, I'm far too tired," I say. "Wake up, you'll miss breakfast," he says.

"Mm. No," I say, burying my head into one of Loki's pillows, inhaling its scent. Tears sting my eyes. "Leidi, come on. Father has arranged something for you," he says. "He didn't have to," I mumble.

"Well he did, now come on!!" He says, tugging my arm, "Will I have to carry you again?" I mumble incoherently and roll out of bed. "Don't you dare brother," I say. I make my way to my room and open the closet. I frown upon seeing those black dresses still there.

I groan and flop backwards onto my made bed. I haven't slept in here at all. Not since I helped Loki out of prison. Loki. I get a distant look as soon as his thought crossed my mind.

I shake it off. Why does everything have to be so difficult? I can't even love now? I wonder if I had just burned in Muspelheim, this wouldn't have happened. If I was taller. If I was prettier.

I wince at my reflection. I haven't done that in a long time. Loki had always made me feel as though I look perfectly fine. But now he's not here. I see the black and white in front of me. My skin is far to pale. My hair is far too dark. My wide green eyes look too big for my face. My nose is too small. The queen said I had full lips, but I guess that just meant they looked bloated. I resist the urge to shatter the mirror.

I do not wish to see my own face. I feel hideous and out of place without him. The door opens and someone walks in and shuts the door behind them. I look but see no one there. Loki's voice whispers in my ear, "I never loved you, Leidi." I jump and turn around and see no one. The door opens and shuts again.

This is the strangest possible thing ever. First I end up with a closet full of widow's clothing. Then note Loki tells me he never loved me. Then mirror Loki says not to doubt his love. Now whisper Loki is telling me the same thing note Loki told me. What's next? Water Loki? Fire Loki? Loki's going to appear in my mead?

I stare at the black dresses and one of them almost glows green. I get up to touch it. I don't know why I didn't see it before. The illusion fades and before me, stand all of the Asgardian dresses I was given. I pick a simple one. It's a dark emerald green velvet. It's almost black like the widow dresses. But the skirt, short sleeves and bust have golden thread lacing. It still hugs my upper body but not my legs. There is a gold band around it and blue gems are attached.

It's the most simple thing in the closet. The rest is too elegant for my taste. I still look depressed. I feel depressed and confused and scared and angry and alone. My every waking moment is without Loki. I want to see him again.

I stand in front of the mirror and hook his cape on my shoulders again. My hair is a tangled mess. I haven't brushed it since I cut it. I never felt the need.

I never wanted to. I walk out barefoot, but the dress reaches past my feet so no one will notice. And the halls are spotless. I won't get my feet dirty. Thor is at the end of the hall. "Thor? Why aren't you in there?" I say.

"I was waiting for you dear sister," he says simply. "You usually wait outside my door, brother. What happened?" I say. "I saw Amora go in your room. I thought you'd arrive with her. But then she came out without you," he says.

"Who?" I say. "Amora the enchantress," he replies. "I don't know who that is. She must've come in while I was showering," I say. "Yes, perhaps," he says.

Amora the Enchantress. Interesting.