Phan Fluff

To Dream Or Not To Dream

It was only when Dan's stomach gave a loud rumble that he realized so many hours had passed since he'd sat down to edit his latest video. It was a good one, but he wanted to make sure it was perfect. He saved where he was at and made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and stared blankly inside. Nothing looked good. There was something he was craving, he just knew it. CHINESE. Oh god that sounded so good. He turned to head towards Phil's room to ask him what he wanted before he remembered that Phil wasn't home. He'd left earlier to see a friend, but Dan found it a little strange that he wasn't back yet. They must've really hit it off...

Dan checked the clock and was shocked to see that it was 9:30pm. No wonder he was starving. They probably had gone to dinner and drinks afterwards. Dan tried not to feel jealous, but he did miss Phil. Normally they'd go into the lounge now and watch something together. Dan headed there anyway and flicked on the tv. A news channel popped on, but as he went to change it something caught his eye.

They were showing coverage on a current train crash and a reporter was talking about some of the victims. "Most were lucky and scraped by with only minor injuries, but there are 5 in the hospital now with various severe wounds, and very sadly 1 dead. We haven't been able to identify this young man yet, but police have said he looked to be in his 20s, with dark hair, and was wearing a Sonic tshirt. If anyone knows-"

Dan muted the telli instantly. This couldn't be happening. Nonono, he hadn't even seen Phil today. They'd both slept in and when Dan woke up he'd found a note from the other telling him he'd gone to catch up with a friend. This could not be happening.

Dan didn't know what to do. Should he go to the wreck? They probably wouldn't let him see the body, especially since they weren't married, or even engaged. Oh god, but he had to let them know who Phil was. Jesus Christ, he couldn't do it. No, this had to be just a fucked up dream. He needed to go to bed and in the morning he would wake up and everything would be okay. Phil would be there.

Dan stumbled out of the lounge choking on tears, but when he reached the hallway he turned and went into Phil's room. He collapsed on Phil's bed and when he smelled Phil's cologne he lost it. He could not go on without Phil. How could he? Phil was everything. EVERYTHING. What would he tell the fans? Where would he live? What would he do with the rest of his life? He could never make another video, that's for sure. His thoughts strayed to the one he'd just been editing. Yeah fucking right.

Dan bolted upright at the sudden realization that he should call Phil! Maybe it wasn't him! He dialed Phil's number faster than he ever had before and waited, praying for the first time in years, begging for him to pick up.

"Hi! This is Phil, and I'm a bit busy right now, either editing a video or playing Sonic, so leave me a message! Thanks!"

Dan threw his phone across the room at the wall and started punching one of Phil's pillows. "Pick up, Phil, for fuck's sake just pick up the bloody phone!" He threw punch after punch at the pillow as more and more tears poured down his face. He would never be able to see Phil again.

When the doorbell rang Dan jumped, confused. Then he realized who it must be. They had figured out who Phil was and came to his house. No, he couldn't see them like this. He couldn't take someone actually saying it. Maybe it wasn't Phil, maybe Phil just got lost or drunk or...

The bell kept ringing and Dan got angrier. His best fucking friend was dead, his lover, the only person he truly cared about, AND THEY WOULDN'T LEAVE HIM ALONE. Dan stormed down his stairs to unlock and swing open the door and screamed, "FUCK OFF!"

"What the hell, Dan?! What's gotten into you?!"

Dan's jaw dropped as he saw Phil standing there. 

"Dan, have you been crying?"

Dan launched himself into Phil's arms and started sobbing again. "Phil, I thought you were dead, fuck Phil, why didn't you pick up your bloody phone, jesus christ where were you?!?!" 

Phil held onto Dan tightly, obviously startled. "Dan, why would you think I was dead? I lost my things at the train station, hence I didn't have my keys or phone, so I'm sorry I didn't pick up, but that doesn't mean I'm dead!"

Dan, in uneven breaths, told him what he'd seen on the news. 

"Oh Jesus, Dan, I'm not even wearing my Sonic shirt, you know it got too worn out!

"I know, but I wasn't really thinking, I guess..."

"Daniel, stop crying, I'm perfectly alright. Come here." He pulled Dan closer and led him upstairs. They laid down on Dan's bed and were still as Phil waited for Dan to calm down. 

"Phil, what if I wake up in the morning and this bit was all a dream and really you're dead?"

"This isn't a dream, Dan."

"Phil, will you marry me?"

Phil sat up in shock. "What? Where'd that come from?"

Dan sat up too and took Phil's hand. "If you were to die tomorrow I couldn't bear it. I don't want to live in hiding anymore. I don't give a fuck if the fans know. I just want to be with you every god damn second of the rest of our lives."

Phil took Dan's face in his hands and kissed him. "Of course, Dan, yes yes yes. I love you so much, you know that, right?"

Dan nodded and moved in for another kiss. His stomach growled and Phil laughed. "You hungry?"

Dan smirked and replied, "Only for you."

Phil rolled his eyes, playfully. "Dan's back," he said.

In Dan's mind he was thinking the opposite. "Phil's back." For now. If this was a dream, then fucking hell he was going to make it one to last a lifetime.