Phan Fluff

When Sunshine Beckons

i wrote this because i got my first request! from Fangi2, so thank you and I hope this is everything you wished for <3 it's a companion to 'When Anxiety Calls.' xxx and i also hope that if anyone is struggling with depression or having a hard time staying positive that this helps in some minuscule way. <3

*

Phil had always looked at life with a smile on his face, a grin in his soul, and a look of wonder in his eyes, ready to turn anything and everything into something positive. His mother had told him multiple times growing up that when he was born he started laughing, not crying. As a child he had many friends as he was so easy to get along with. He never tattled, gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, and constantly tried new things. 

Phil's favorite thing to do, even throughout his teen years, was go to the zoo. Sometimes his friends teased him about going there so much, but it never annoyed him. He'd laugh right along with them and then make some smart remark about how at least he wasn't spending all his time wanking off to Lily Carter (the prettiest girl in school) like Jake did (seriously he had a problem). His favorite animal was the lion and by the time he went off to uni he had more lion memorabilia from his friends and family than he knew what to do with. Knowing he'd have very little space he only took his oldest, most favorite, stuffed lion, leaving the rest to visit whenever he went back up north.

When Phil was in high school he dated a girl seriously for almost three years. He was in love with Sophie and they had loads of good times together. She was obsessed with zebras, baking, and Harry Potter. They went to the zoo and picked out which animals would be their patronuses, along with everyone else they knew. They had birthdays a week apart and so Year 10 they had a safari themed joint party and made lion and zebra cakes together. It was just common knowledge that they would end up together, move to Africa, and have a bunch of babies, all who would adore animals. 

Two days before exam week in Year 11 Phil found out Sophie was cheating on him with his best friend. It was one of the worst moments of his life. He stopped speaking for over a month, Sophie moved away, and Jake didn't apologize before he left for uni. 

Phil finished high school with fantastic grades, had an exciting summer with his brother Martyn, and then left for the University of York. There he made great new friends, started a Youtube channel, and generally had a good time.

But hardship always seemed to strike Phil's life at the most inconvenient times. His last year of uni one of his very best friends, whom he had been living with, passed away quite suddenly. Life was a blur as he finished up his degrees and tried to continue on with his life. 

It came to Phil's attention, pretty soon after he started youtube, that most of his viewers assumed, because of his happy nature, that he had had a pretty simple and pleasant life. Very few knew how much tragedy he had been through. He wasn't sure how to take this. Should he make a video, like so many did, about the struggles he'd fought through, hopefully giving a little inspiration? This was the first time he consciously thought about why he was able to be so happy.  

The second time he thought about the source of his happiness was the first time Dan confided in him about his anxiety attacks. When Dan called him sounding terrified, desperate, and barely able to breathe, Phil knew he had to help. He needed to figure out how he stayed positive, how he had come out of those terrible times, now, for his bear. He often pondered, was it because he had had such a great family? Was it because of that time in 1st grade when Phil couldn't stay silent when his friend was being bullied? Or was he just born that way? Whatever the answer, he needed to know. 

Phil became much quieter, always in his head, trying to find the magical solution to make Dan feel better. Every time Dan couldn't get out of bed, every time Dan gripped Phil's hand in public, every time Dan wanted to delete his channel, Phil became more and more resolved to make his lover happy. It became his life's mission. If only he could find the fix to Dan's problem and then he'd never have to see his love in pain again.

It is now spring of 2014. Dan comes home, prepared to tell Phil about his idea for a joint gaming channel, to find a sobbing Phil collapsed on the floor. After calming him down, Dan eventually manages to get Phil to talk. He finally tells Dan about his quest to make him happy and Dan starts to cry as he realizes how fucking much Phil adores him. He silences Phil's apologies for failing with a tender kiss and tells him he is the opposite of a failure. Phil has been everything Dan has needed and the only reason Dan is still alive is because of his lion. Phil shakes his head in disbelief as Dan tells him that he is happier now than he has ever been before and because of Phil he knows that he'll always be able to get through anything. 

They are both crying and kissing and saying they love each other the most, and Dan tells Phil he needs to stop his "search." He knows why Phil is so positive, strong, and a light in this world. Phil wants to know why even though Dan says it doesn't matter. So Dan kisses him again and makes a trail of caresses all the way to Phil's ear and whispers,

"You were the angel sent to save me."

*

OKAY WHAT DID YOU THINK??? pls let me know and also... I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR REQUESTS. ;)