Loving You Later

Chapter Eighteen

Alex was frozen, he just stood there holding me and I didn't know if it was shock or him thinking, no I knew it was shock, he looked the Edward when Bella told him she was pregnant.

In that part of the movie I has actually burst out laughing but seeing Alex, Mr cool, calm and collected was a different thing, it scared me, made me feel something I didn't want to feel and I was honestly worried.

There was a knock on the door and that seemed to have snapped him out of whatever trance he was in “come in” he spoke in a quiet voice.

The door opened and Josh walked in with a bag, his eyes went straight to mine then down to my thighs “Lilly I need you to pul/l your underwear off and lay on the bed”

“no” I spoke “why am I bleeding?”

“Lilly” he sighed “come on, sweetheart please”

I let Alex's hand go and he dropped down to his knees and pulled my underwear off, I was in the nude apart from a bra and I wasn't even worried about that, well Josh wasn't even looking he was too busy pulling things out of his bag and snapping on rubber gloves.

Alex pulled on the long sleeved shirt which was actually better since it came mid thigh, he wiped my legs with a towel Josh had tossed him, then moved it over on the bed where I was meant to lay down.

“baby you need to lay down”

“I don't want to” I whispered as I choked holding back the tears

“I am going to be right here to hold your hand, just keep your eyes on me while Josh does this” Alex rubbed his palm over my cheek.

I nodded and laid down on the bed, my legs off as Josh lifted them up “just relax Lilly, just let your legs fall to the side and deep breaths”

Alex took hold of my hand and held it tightly, or I held him, actually we both held each other tightly, I felt Josh's hand between my thighs and tensed, I tried my hardest to relax as the feeling was horrible, it was uncomfortable and I felt embarrassed.

Alex lent forward and pressed his lips to mine, he didn't move away but instead he kept them on me for the whole time Josh was prodding around. When I felt his hand move out I let out a breath I had been holding. He didn't speak as he pulled off the bloody gloves and brought the gel to my stomach and squirted it on.

Everything was silent and I didn't know what to do, I just hoped our baby was ok, and that this was a normal thing, something that was easily fixed.

Josh looked up at us and towards Alex with a glass film over his eyes, “don't say it, don't you fucking dare say it” Alex hissed out through his clenched jaw.

“I'm so sorry, Lilly your miscarrying, the pain is from your cervix dilating, the baby will pass soon” he spoke in a quiet voice.

I sucked in a sharp breath as I took it all in, I was loosing our baby. The one thing I wanted so much was gone, I killed our baby.

“get out” Alex spoke staring at the bed “just please go” he said in a softer tone.

Josh left the room pretty quickly, but not before placing a kiss against my forehead and patting Alex on the back. I just laid there stunned at what was happening.

I was ten weeks pregnant and I lost our baby.

“the pain is going to get worse, I think you should sit on the toilet and that way it will pass hopefully sooner” Alex stood up pulling a pair of boxers from his draw out and pulling them up over my legs.

I moved but I felt as though I was asleep, I didn't feel like I was awake, I felt as though this was a big dream and everything would be ok when I woke up, but reality was that I was in a fucking nightmare right now, I was loosing our baby, the bedding was covered in blood and I had no idea how I didn't feel it, what type of person couldn't feel themselves bleeding.