Loving You Later

Chapter Nineteen

I didn't think it was possible to have any more tears left in me but it was, I just couldn't stop them from spilling out, it was like a waterfall of tears, Alex's shirt was soaked from where I was laying into his chest, his hand never left my mine.

I heard the front door open and the quiet voices of Emma and Josh, they were obviously back and I didn't know how to even face them, I was actually thankful that he was here, that I had to doctors with us because if I had been on my own then I would have freaked the fuck out a lot more.

“are you thirsty or hungry babe?” Alex spoke moving slightly into a different position

Come to think about it I was pretty hungry, I hadn't eaten or drank anything all day “yeah I am, I think I might have a shower first if that's ok with you?”

“you don't need to ask permission Lilly, you go have a hot shower and I will make sure them two don't poison us” he let out a faint laugh but it was forced.

I got up off the bed with the help of Alex and grabbed a clean change of clothing, then walked across the hall to the bathroom, I felt numb inside, I felt as though everything I loved died on me, first Jamie, then my parents and now our baby.

I cried underneath the shower, staring down at the blood between my thighs dripping down and swirling into the drain underneath me, great now I was back to having a period.

The bathroom door opened and closed and I knew it was Emma, she didn't say anything to me or force me to talk which right now I was thankful for, I just needed to cry.

She passed me a towel as I turned the water off and I dried off then stepped out, her eyes were the first thing I noticed, they were swollen red, she gave a weak smile and wrapped her arms around me tightly.

“I'm so sorry Lilly, I knew how excited you both were” she mumbled into the side of my neck

“thanks, it hurts but at least we didn't know what we was having, that would have been harder” I pulled back pulling on some underwear.

“we got you these” she handed me a packet of pads

“just when I got used to not bleeding” I rolled my eyes taking one from her.

I stared at myself in the mirror, my eyes were still quite puffy and red, I looked like crap in other words, I tossed my hair up into a messy bun, not feeling bothered to look my best I just rubbed some moisturiser over my face and changed into leggings and a white baggy shirt of Alex's.

Emma looked at me with a pained expression across her face “Lilly there is something I need to tell you”

I turned back to hear what she said when the bathroom door opened almost hitting me in the head and Alex appeared “hey your alright?”

“yeah just coming to find you” I smiled then remembered what Emma said “oh what did you want to tell me?”

“it's nothing, don't worry about it” she smiled “let's go see what Josh cooked”

When I thought about Josh cooking especially after those eggs he made I was expecting the worst, instead he had made pizza's and they looked yum, Josh sat his knife down that he was chopping up onions with and walked straight towards me, pulling me into a tight bear hug.

I was shocked that he had done something like that, it took me a few seconds to wrap my arms around his back and grip his shoulders harder than I should have but the sobs coming from him are what surprised me, I never thought he would cry for me, for us, and it was a instant connection I felt with him, I felt that our relationship had just became stronger and I knew I would always have him in my life, that he was going to be a part of our life forever.