I Have Sixteen Brothers, I Don't Need You

Chapter 18: Danny's POV.

Quick note before you start this chapter. I decided to make this chapter in Danny's point of view because I haven't really given you guys a lot of Danny during the story. But yet again, he is depressed and doesn't like to be bothered or be in the spotlight. So yeah. Thanks for reading.

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I stare at nothing. I am just sitting up in the basement while just looking outside the window. I know it will be something to look at, but there is nothing. I feel... Torn. I have always felt like that and I don't know how to... Deal with it. I know little fifteen year olds can't depression at this age, but you can. And it's hard.

I have been depressed for almost all my life. I wasn't a normal kid when I was little. When I was in kindergarten, I remember I always used to go behind this oak tree and read. Yes, I did know how to read at that age.

I learned a lot of my dad, even if he is not here a lot. Back then, he always used to be here and now, he just goes to work, but that's okay because that's his living and I need to accept it. Right? Yes, I do. I get up from the chair and go downstairs quickly to go to my room. I don't like my brothers seeing me.

It's weird, yes, I know. It's just that when I see them... I feel... Left out? No, it's that. It's that sometimes I wish I had there confidence and there good looks. Everyone in this family is good looking while I'm over here looking like an ugly duckling. It's the truth.

To make it even more worse, they have a love life. Skyler is going to end up with Blake either way. Romero is making a mistake with that ugly troll, Betty, but he still has a love life. Ricky fucks around with girls. Nate just plays with the girls feelings and throws them away.

I could carry on, but it'll make me mad eventually. I lay down on my bed and put on my earphones. I hit play and just look at the ceiling. This how I spend my time, in the mornings, after school, on the weekend, and holidays. It doesn't suck at all. It is just you and your thoughts.

Well for some people, they don't like being alone with there thought. If I spend time alone with my thoughts, I get like really depressed by night. Making me cry myself to sleep, also trying to not make any noise, so I have to cover my mouth with my hand for no one can hear me.

The struggles of being depressed.

Some people sometimes think being depressed means you can't do nothing without doing stupid stuff. That's not true. I have done stupid stuff like, almost killing myself, cutting, etc. But I went to a support group where I got all the help I need. I still go, actually. I have to go every Friday after school at six.

Today is Friday and it's only five. I have one more hour, well almost like thirty minutes Because It takes thirty minutes to get there. When some of my friends want to go out, I have to decline. Thank the lord! Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but I don't like going out. Especially if the girl I like is there.

I don't know her name. I have been meaning to ask one of my friends, but then they will ask if I like her or something. You know how eighth graders are these days. I have been told that I am way to mature for my age. My mom is actually trying to talk to one of the councilors if I could go to highschool a bit earlier.

Yes it'll mean I have to leave my friends behind, but it's okay. I can stay in touch with them, even if that wouldn't be a good idea. I know my friends are. They would all get so mad, one because I haven't told them what my mom is doing. Second, if I leave, they would ask why I am not at school. Third, the truth will come out sooner or later.

Let's just see how that goes...

I take off my earphones and put them back on my bedside tables. I get my phone, then go down the stairs where my mom is putting Danny in his carriage. "Ready, sweetie?"

"Yeah."

When I open the front door, I see rain pouring down hard. Eh, who cares. I help my mom get Jordan into the car and seconds later, we are on our way. As I look at the drops racing down the window, I think of... Depression. Not the best thing to think about, but my world kind of revolves around it.

I'm always sad. That's the only thing I can tell people when they ask me that. Not a lot of people know I have depression, but when they find out, it's hell. That simple. They always ask me how it feels or what do you do. One time a rumor spread around school saying, I cut.

I used to. I don't have the scars or anything, I just have my regular arms back. About the rumor, everyone found out and wanted to see my arms. When they did, they were surprised to see nothing. I proved everyone wrong and it felt good.

"Danny, sweetie." I snap out of my thoughts and look at my mom. "I have been calling your name for quiet a while. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I nod. "Just to deep in my thoughts."

Why do I feel like crying now? Is it because everyone is worried about me? Or is it because I don't know how to handle myself? I just really want to fucking cry now.

"Everything will get better." Mom nods. "Just give it time."

"I'll see you later mom."

As I walk inside the building dripping wet, I think about what my mom said. Will things get better? I have this feeling, things will not get better. When I have this feeling, I know something bad is going to happen. I go into the bathroom and cry. I usually do this.

Whenever I feel like crying at random moments, I cry and cry until I can't.

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"Today I got a new boyfriend!" This one girl smiles as she tells the group her, "big news". This os what we do, we sit around in a circle and listen to each other saying good news. It can't be sad because it will put everyone in a bad mood.

"That's great, Alyssa!" The instructor smiles.

"It is." Alyssa smiles. "I think this is going to be the end of my depression!"

You can't relay on a guy! He will break your heart and won't regret jt! What? I watch to many movies, okay!

"Such great news!" Instructor smiles once again. "Greg, do you have anything to share?"

Greg has been cutting. He doesn't like coming to this thing, but he is being forced by his aunt. Greg's parents died in a car accident last year, so it gives him a very good reason to be depressed. "What do you want to share? That my parents died last month and expect me to be happy?" The instructor tried to stop him, but Greg held up his hand in front of him and continued to talk.

"My parents fucking died in a car accident last year and you expect me to have good news!? I am the only one in the family who can take care of my sick aunt and I am barely fifteen!! My sister who is twenty-three can't because she has "work" when we all know she is fucking around with her boyfriend who abuses her!" Greg yells. "So don't you dare freaking call on me to say good news when we all know my life is the complete opposite!!"

Greg storms out. I on the other hand am sitting with my mouth wide open. Who knew this group had so much drama. I have never seen Greg act so... Mean with anyone. I should of clapped, but I really don't think it's the moment.

The instructor stands up. "I think that is it for today. Everyone is dismissed."

I immediately stand up and go outside. It's still pouring. I don't want to make my mom drive here all over again until later, so I just run down the street and went inside a diner. I order myself a cup of coffee and just sit there looking out the window.

Then it suddenly hits me. This is my life and I can't change. This is how I will always be. Running. Just running from anything. How will I ever be happy?

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That's Danny's POV! I love how this chapter turned out! Well, I hope you liked how Danny thinks! Bye! :) Thanks for reading!

XO