When I'm In His Arms

Chapter 5 :)

On day five in the hospital, all of the boys came to visit me. Except one.

"Where's Louis?" I asked.

The boys looked around uncomfortably. Then Harry spoke up and said "he thought you didn't want him here. So he stayed back at the hotel."

Louis definitely had it right, but I wasn't sure if I did. I was having a lot of contradicting thoughts since I hadn't taken my meds in a five days. But the bubbly feeling inside me had dissolved. I was used to the empty feeling inside, but something like regret spoke to me at the back of my mind.

"Oh," I said. I decided to leave it at that.

"Anyway," Zayn began. "We thought maybe you'd like to hang out with us for a couple more days. It could be fun. Maybe you'd like some fun due to what happened the other night."

My fist tightened instinctively. Then Liam said, "it's a truely a terrible thing he's done to you. I hope they find the bastard that did this. And soon too."

"Well what do you know about it?" I snapped. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I really am grateful." I swallowed hard. "Thank you. And if you want to know, I did know him. I just... don't socialize much, and I should be getting home..."

"Nonsense."

We all turned simultaneously to the doorway.

"Louis!" The boys greeted their ocean-eyed friend. He made eye-contact with me and smiled. I waved pathetically and smiled back.

"The nurse is on her way," he said. "She told me that they'll release you in half an hour."

I nodded. "Thanks," I said stiffly. As much as I regretted saying it, I sucked in a breath of air and spoke. "So how long will I be staying with you boys?" Anything was better than... well, I couldn't call it 'home' now, could I?

Zayn broke into a huge smile and came up next to me along with Niall. Liam said, "great! I'll go order some pizza. Harry, are you coming?"

As they left the room, Harry went behind the door and pressed his face against the glass. He stuck his tongue out and filled his cheeks with air, resembling a monkey. I giggled a little waved goodbye. I immediately scolded myself for it because I did NOT want these boys as friends. I didn't know what it was like to have people really care about me. The last time someone cared was when my parents were still alive. The night they died was the night my life fell apart. It shattered actually... into a million painful fragments.

Niall smiled and started walking towards the door. "I think I'll join them. Zayn, Louis? Are you coming?"

Louis slowly started walking away. "Yea I'm coming Niall!" He yelled after him. Then to me, he said, "I'll see you later Saby." I flinched when he acknowledged me. Why hadn't he gotten the hint that I wasn't friendly material? Heat rose to my cheeks and I nearly slapped myself. Was I... blushing..? No... there had to be a mistake. Maybe it was embarrassment. That had to be it.

Zayn suddenly took my hand in his. He looked right into my eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry about what's happened to you. I hope your luck is improving." He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and stood up. I couldn't help but smile even wider than before. What was wrong with me? How could so much change in a couple days? I had actually met people who were kind to me. They respected me. I wondered what they would thinknif they knew my past. Would they still see me as a regular person?

"Zayn?" Louis was still by the doorway.

He looked up. "Oh, sorry Lou, I'll be only a second more."

Zayn shook his head and smiled at the floor. "Anyway," he continued. "If you need anything we are here for you. Whatever it is you want, name it and we got you covered. Alright?"

"Okay," I agreed. "I probably won't be needing anything though. Maybe some new clothes, but that's all."

I didn't really care about using them to my advantage. Maybe they'd leave me alone. I didn't want to hurt them, which is why I needed them to forget about me soon before they found out what I was really like. Spending their money was one way. Louis didn't seem too bothered by it earlier. He had to spend it on something...

Zayn gave me a thumbs up and stood. "Done. I'll see you in a little while."

"Bye Zayn."

As Zayn walked past Louis, grinning deeply, Louis gazed after him. And... something was burning in his eyes. It frightened me. In the five days I'd known Louis, I'd never seen him look more unhappy. But then somewhere in my mind a lightbulb went off.

'Jealousy,' I thought. 'That's what that look is.' But what on earth was he jealous of..?

I cocked my head to one side. After Zayn turned the corner, Louis lingered outside the room and I caught his eye. He looked at me, waved and turned away from the door. He held his head down and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

I laid in bed staring at the place where he was standing. My mind whizzed with emotion. The butterflies seemed tonmultiply in my stomach as I watched Louis walk away. I wished I could put my finger on this overpowering feeling inside me. I positioned my head in the center of my pillow and allowed my eyelids to droop down. I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of my parents. When the nurse woke me up, I noticed that my pillow was a little wet. I was crying in my sleep. The moment I walked into the lobby the five boys were sitting down talking. I hid behind a corner to listen.

"I think she's had a tough life. I don't have any other feelings for her but sympathy."

"Oh come on Lou, we see the way you look at her. And when you found her in that alley, every second after that you've been... distant. Whether you have feelings for her or not, there's something you aren't telling us."

"And I promise you there isn't. It's nothing."

Zayn smiled. "Whatever you say Lou. Just remember, you said it."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If anything, Louis was distant from shock. I doubted he could handle the real world. I was stupid enough to think Lionel had an interest in me, and look where I was now. If I went on believing someone like LOUIS liked me, well, I must be mad. I actually laughed out loud and they stopped talking. I shut my eyes and approached them after they started up another conversation.

Niall came up to me and punched my good shoulder lightly. "Ready to go?"

I sighed. "As long as you are."