When I'm In His Arms

Chapter 15 :)

Zayn followed my instructions all the way to Jeff's house. When he pulled up his eyebrows creased in concern.

"Will you be okay?" He asked.

I nodded. "I'll live."

He stood up with me and gave me a big hug. I felt like crying into his shoulder, but I held back. "Take care of yourself, okay? We won't forget you, I promise."

I pulled away and walked off the bus. "Bye, Zayn."

He saluted me with watery eyes and went back to the stearing wheel. I watched the bus pull around the corner. When he was out of sight, I let the tears fall down my cheeks like a monsoon. I couldn't control it, and I didn't even want to go inside to my room. I would rather stay outside and watch the road in hopes that the bus would turn around again. Like the day when Louis had carried me off the steps and set me on the bench beside the road. Niall stopped then, so why wouldn't Zayn? They'd come back...

But they didn't. I sat down by the side of the road, tears falling down my cheeks endlessly. I had a headache and I felt like dying.

I finally got up the strength and moved up the front steps that were rotting away. The door creaked open. I cringed, hoping that Jeff or Steven wouldn't notice. I knew they would notice me home eventually and there would surely be yelling and screaming. But I couldn't deal with that right away. I needed time, I needed to cut and ease my mind.

I tiptoed into my bedroom, which had acquired the smell of smoke and alcohol in the past week I had been gone. I set my bag on my bed, which now had a couple more holes in the mattress with stuffing spilling out. I sighed and looked at my broken bookshelf that had a couple blades on the top shelf. I walked over and picked one up. It felt weird in my grasp, especially since I hadn't used one in a week. I pressed it up against my skin and just as I was about to slide it across my wrist, I saw the key chain stuffed animal on my bag. And I suddenly couldn't bring myself to do it.

I dropped the blade on the floor and kicked it across the dusty floorboards. I was so frustrated because I had promised Louis I wouldn't cut, but he wasn't with me anymore, so what did it matter? But he wanted me to be happy, right?

I heard a chorus of drunken laughter erupt from the other room. Whipping my head towards my door, I thought I heard footsteps getting closer.

'Here it comes,' I thought. I braced myself for their insults and pounding fists. I should've ended my life such a long time ago, then I wouldn't be in this suffering.

The door creaked open and my breath became caught in my throat. It had been a week since I'd seen those cold grey eyes with their sadly attractive shine in them. His sandy hair fanned out around his head flawlessly, and he flaunted a thousand watt smile, but it looked so cunning and hateful, even more than last time I saw him

"Lionel..."

He took a step closer to me and I took a step back. "Shhh, don't make a fuss sweetheart."

"Don't you dare call me that," I snapped. How was he here? Better yet, why hadn't police found him? Obviously they'd think long enough to know that they should check the house.

He laughed and took a couple more steps. His hand was feeling around in his jacket pocket and it got my heart beating fast, anxiety gripping my chest. The hate I felt for him was unbelievable. And I was scared at the same time. Suddenly, I'd made up my mind:

I didn't want to die.

"Still not going to cooperate? Shame, I was going to let you off easy."

"What's wrong with you? Why can't you leave me alone and why are you even here? HOW are you here?"