Just For The Cameras

chapter 30 ~ dealing with braden

CHAPTER 30 - DEALING WITH BRADEN

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Nathan's POV

Andrea, Jordan, Jamie, Maddie, Elisabeth, Grace. I could probably keep listing names of girls I've had sex with for the next hour but it still wouldn't change the fact that none of them had made a lasting impression on me.

If I would walk past any of them on the street, I would definitely not recognize them. Not even those I'd had a good night with, according to the book, had ever heard from me again.

I had collected the girls like trophies and I had always been proud of my collection. It had been going like that for more than two years until I spent that one night with Payton.

For some reason the night with her had been different from the nights with all the girls in the book. And even though Payton didn't want to believe it, I hadn't had sex with anyone since then.

Of course I had tried to hook up with a few girls after coming back home from Texas. Especially because Payton had been extremely happy with Braden back then but it just didn't work if you know what I mean. Whenever we were at her or my place and were about to do it, my body just hadn't done what I had wanted it to do.

At first I had thought that something was wrong with me and had visited about a million doctors. But all of them had diagnosed that everything was fine down there.

My best buddy James had simply said that I must've fallen in love with her. But I had just called him crazy. There was no way I could ever fall in love with someone, at least that's what I had told myself for several years.

It was only when she moved in with me and broke up with Braden that I realized how happy I was around her and that James might have actually been right.

I had fallen in love with her. And since we'd been living in the same apartment, I had only fallen in love more and more with each passing day.

That was until Braden had been standing in front of our door this morning. The fact that she had broken our agreement and was in a relationship with Braden again and that she had not only read my book after finding it but had also showed it to other people had broken my heart.

I had actually thought she would have feelings for me as well. But sometimes she was just way too oblivious to everything around her. I had tried subtly showing her that I had feelings for her but whenever I had done it, she had just never understood what I had been referring to. It was frustrating.

I should actually just give up and try to fall out of love again, especially now that she had betrayed me. But even this morning when we had been fighting, I had constantly felt the urge to just wrap my arms around her and finally tell her how I felt. Even in that situation I hadn't been able to stop loving her even though she had broken my heart.

On one hand I knew that my reaction had been appropriate and that I had had every right to say the things that I had said. But on the other hand I was also regretting everything I had said by now because I hadn't heard from her since then.

She had ignored all my calls and I was worried that she might hate me now and might not even want to be friends with me anymore.

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing off my phone and I quickly jumped to my feet to grab it from the nightstand. Maybe it was her.

"Payton?" I said after accepting the call.

"No, it's Alexa. I want you to come to my office now."

"Why? Did something happen to Payton?" I asked.

"Not as far as I know. I just called her and she'll be here as well. But we have a problem, so hurry up."