Just For The Cameras

chapter 9 ~ bare facts & confessions

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***

It was the picture of Nathan who was on top of a girl while moaning loudly.

"Oh my god." I exclaimed in shock. Now I knew why he didn't answer his phone earlier today.

Both shot up and looked at me with wide eyes, while I just looked back at them with my mouth wide open. I was at least as shocked as they were.

But before anyone could say something, I was able to move my feet again and left the apartment as fast as I could. On my way out I reflexively grabbed the car keys again and nearly flew down the stairs this time.

***

I didn't even know how I'd gotten to my apartment without having an accident because I didn't remember anything about the drive back home.

But now I was sitting on my own couch again and realized that I had something wet on my face.

I tried wiping the" whatever it was" off of my face with my fingers, but it didn't work. At that moment a sob escaped my mouth and I recognized that I was crying and had probably been crying on my way here as well.

But why? Why were tears streaming down my face right now? Why did I even care about what I'd just seen?

All these questions were going through my head and only made my sobs even worse.

But seriously, it was not like he'd cheated on me. We were only fake dating and I actually couldn't even explain why it made me feel the way I felt now.

Somewhere in my mind I always knew that he was still sleeping with girls even though we were both part of this contract now. But I never cared about it. And even while thinking about this again now, I still didn't care.

But it was that time of the month again; maybe it had something to do with that. Or maybe I was just tired because I'd had a long day. Or maybe, just maybe it bothered me because he had left me alone at the interview just because of a random girl he would probably never see again after today.

The latter was probably the real reason for my tears that were slowly starting to stop again.

But only to make room for the anger that was slowly growing inside me by now.

From the beginning on I knew that he would let me down one day because of some random girl but I never thought he would let me down in front of an audience of millions and would let me sit there alone while talking about a relationship that wasn't even existent.

As soon as I got ahold of him, I'd make him feel my anger.

But then my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my doorbell.

Still fuming, I stomped over to my door to open it just to be face to face to the devil himself a few seconds later.

Before I could react he had already pushed past me and was inside my apartment. I slammed the door shut and turned around to face him again.

"Payton, listen ..." He started but I started yelling at him before he could say another word.

"No! I won't listen to you now. You make me sick. I hate you; I fucking hate you, Nathan Atkins!"

"Calm down, Payton. Let's talk about this without ruffle or excitement."

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down!" I continued to shout. He was responsible for my anger and I would take it out on him now. "I had an interview this morning and had to announce our relationship in front of an audience of millions. And the freaking interviewer asked a billion of personal questions as well. I had to answer all of them alone because you let me down. I probably looked like an idiot while I had to tell the interviewer that you didn't have time, that you didn't have time for the interview that is usually the most important interview for a couple. Earlier today I just pushed that thought away and tried to make the best of it because I thought you had an important appointment. But no, you let me down because of a girl. A girl you will never see again. I hate you so much for this!"