My Best Friends Promise

Chapter Twelve | I Won't Let Go

TOBIN'S POV

After an emotional night for me at least. I spent my morning explaining to Christen what happened because last night I was so emotionally drained. I didn't know what to think, I basically released my best friend and I don't know what to feel at this point.

Christen went out early to get some coffee so I stayed in our dorm, rethinking everything that has happened last night. God, I don't want to remember any of it. It was so hard just saying good bye to her, especially when I thought that it was just a see you later. I shake my head as I hear my phone start to ring. I check my phone thankful that it was only Lauren. I really needed someone to talk to.

"Lauren." I choke out as I fight back some tears.

"Tobin, are you okay?" I hear Lauren ask.

"I lied. I'm not okay." I say as my tears escape my eyes.

"Tobin, what's wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen?" Lauren asks and I can hear the concern build in her voice.

"I miss you and everything that I once had. I miss Alex. I miss Amy. I miss everything." I say in between sobs.

"Tobin, what is this about?" Lauren asks.

"I messed up so badly Lauren. I regret everything. God I wish I was dead." I say.

"Tobin Heath don't you dare say that! Please Tobin don't do anything to yourself. I need you here. We need you here. What is Alex going to think? She's helped you get this far and you can't fail her, she hasn't given up on you so you shouldn't either." Lauren says.

It left me thinking of everything Alex has ever done for me. How dedicated she was to our friendship. How much she really did love and care about me. But I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid that I let her go.

"She's not going to care about me anymore." I whisper loud enough for Lauren to hear me on the other end.

"What do you mean?" Lauren asks.

"We got in a fight yesterday..." I say.

"About what?" Lauren asks almost impatiently.

"I knew it wouldn't work out. I knew we would end up loosing each other because distance is always a problem." I start.

"Wait... Are you two still friends?" Lauren asks, and just the word friend kills me inside.

"No... No we aren't." I say in between sobs. Then it's silent.

"Tobin... Was it you? Did you let her go?" Lauren asks quietly.

"Yes. It was me. God, Lauren what's wrong with me?" I ask.

"Nothing is wrong with you Tobin. Just tell me why." Lauren says.

"It's hard to explain Lauren. It really is." I say back.

"Okay." Lauren says then it's quite once again. "Tobin I have to go, I have soccer in a couple minutes. Take care of yourself okay? Please, just hang in there, don't do anything you'll regret later. Okay? I'll talk to you later." Lauren says, and with that she hangs up.

I set my phone down, and I go back to crying. I didn't even hear Christen come in. She sat down next to me on my bed and just stroked my hair, and she just let me cry.

Finally, I pulled myself together and I looked up at Christen. A worried expression is on her face but she gives me a smile. "Here." She says as she hands me some coffee. I just nod as I take it in my hands and sip it. "Are you okay?" Christen asks me as she watches me drink my coffee.

I just shake my head no, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"Do you regret it?" Christen asks.