My Best Friends Promise

Chapter Fifteen | Recovering

TOBIN'S POV

I was relieved to be back in North Carolina with Christen. I got out of her car and I swing my duffle over my shoulder and Christen and I walked back to our dorm in silence. When we got to our dorm I smiled at the familiar space that to me reminds me of home. I set my bag down on the edge of my bed and I sit on the side of my bed.

"Okay, I couldn't hold it in any longer!" Christen says with a huge smile on her face.

"Couldn't hold what any longer?" I ask, getting a little anxious at her excitement.

"We made the soccer team Tobin!" Christen says as she pulls out a piece of paper with the roster on it. I find my name towards the middle of the list and a smile forms on my face.

"Oh my gosh!" I say as I pull Christen into a hug, and I couldn't stop smiling. "I can't believe it." I say as I sit down on my bed again, trying to process the news.

"I know! Can't you believe it? We topped all the other girls!" Christen says excitedly and I can't help but smile.

"When's the first practice?" I ask curiously.

"Tomorrow! And believe it or not, our first game is next week!" Christen says.

"Seriously? So soon?" I say.

"Yeah, I was hoping they would give us more time to be prepared. But coach said that we made the team only because we were already trained well. You missed quite a lot in a matter of two days." Christen says.

"Yeah..." I say as I begin to trail off and I loose the smile that was on my face. Christen seems to notice as she sits next to me on my bed.

"How was she?" Christen asks, breaking the silence.

"I don't know. That's what I'm thinking about now. I'm such an awful friend Press. She could be dead, she could be alive I wouldn't know because I'm here. I wasn't there for her and I knew she needed me." I say.

"Don't think like that Tobin. I know she'll be fine, I can't guarantee you that, but you could only hope for the best." Christen says.

"I messed up Press. I walked out of her life for some stupid reason, and I know she hates me because of it. That's why I left the hospital so soon, because I knew she wouldn't want me to be there after what I've done to her. How could you ever forgive someone like me who did such a stupid thing?" I say.

"You can't keep dwelling on the past Tobin. Yeah it happened and we sometimes wish we could redo it but we can't. Life doesn't work like that and you need to realize that. And right now, you're just assuming she hates you because maybe, deep down. She misses you just as much as you miss her. Do you see where I'm going with this?" Christen asks me.

"You're right and I can't disagree with you. But I really hurt her, I left some kind of scar on her and it hurts me knowing I did it. You have absolutely know idea how much I miss my best friend, she really did make me happy. She really did change the way I look at things, she changed my perspective and made me love life instead of hate it. She saved me from doing something I would regret. She made me feel so loved and so important. She was the perfect friend and I ruined it all. It makes me feel so terrible inside I can't even forgive myself." I say.

"Tobin, that's the thing you need to learn to forgive yourself, and you also need to learn how to love yourself for who you are. It doesn't matter what kind of life you lived back then. What matters is how you chose to live it. If she made you feel so important and made you feel some type of away. Then she truly is your best friend and you can't give up on her like that. I know I can't ever take her place but I'm planning on being here for you as you think things through. I know you'll make the right decision on this, but I hope it's something you won't regret." Christen says to me.