My Best Friends Promise

Chapter Fourteen | When Can I See Her

TOBIN'S POV

I leave the room and I wipe my tears away.

"That was beautiful." I hear Lauren say behind me.

"You were listening?" I ask, not surprised that she did such a thing.

"Every word. She still means something to you Tobin. You two are best friends and that's how it's suppose to be. It's almost as if you two were meant to be best friends. You make each other so happy, that it makes me happy. Be careful on whatever decision you make, and make sure you won't regret it." Lauren says as she squeezes my shoulder and walks away.

I let out another sigh as I decided to part from the group to clear my head. I wonder around the hospital until I find a hallway that is empty, I slide down the floor and bury my head into my hands and I let my tears fall freely.

I think about Alex and everything we have been through, together. It wasn't Lauren or Amy who was there to stop me the night I planned on killing myself, it was Alex. It was Alex who got beat up because of me and she did it all on purpose. It was Alex who stood up to Melissa and made her find her good side. It was Alex who was there to welcome me when I came back from running away. It's always been her, it's always been Alex Morgan and it hasn't changed since the very first day we met. But right now, it's Alex who lays in the hospital, with a chance she won't wake up, with a chance she won't be alive again. I try not to think of these things but they just float through my mind like an endless roller coaster.

I finally realized that I don't want to be here when she wakes up because I'm just not ready. You can't really be ready for these type of things but I feel like I need more space away from her. I know it's been almost a whole month since we last spent time together and since the last time we actually talked to each other in person. But I just can't be here.

I get up from the floor and I walk back to the waiting room where everyone else is waiting at. Amy walks up to me, pulling me into a tight hug. I hold on to her, thankful that she was here.

"How are you really?" Amy asks me, as she looks into my eyes and I just stare back at hers.

"I'm okay." I say as my eyes search the floor.

"No you're not." Amy says as she pulls me into another hug and rubs circles along my back. Making me relax not realizing how tense I was.

"I don't know what's going to happen at this point." I say quietly.

"Neither of us do, we could only hope for the best. But I can promise you Tobin that she'll pull through. She's strong, just like you Tobs." Amy says as she grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.

"I miss her Amy, I really do and I still care about her like I did before. But right now, I can't stay here." I say back.

"What do you mean you can't stay here?" Amy asks, as she looks at me with deep concern.

"I have to go is what I'm trying to say." I answer back, then there's silence between us.

"Do you know what you're doing Tobin?" Amy asks me, tears filling her eyes.

"Yes I do. I can make my own decisions Amy so just trust me on this. I'm going back to North Carolina." I say.

"But you just got here?" I hear Lauren say as she comes up from behind.

"I know. I just... Can't stay and you guys should be the ones who understand." I say softly. "I have a lot of pressure on me right now, and it just keeps piling up." I say, as I let out a sigh.

"We're sorry Tobin, we just want what's best for you and Alex. I mean, why ruin something that meant so much?" Amy says.

"I know, I made a mistake I realize that. But I have to go back to school, so please. Just don't stand in my way because I am capable of making my own decisions and you two, out of everyone should know that." I say.