Poison《Vampire Luke Hemmings》

Chapter 13 Dimmed Light

I felt another vibration in the pocket of my blue jeans and ignored it once again, knowing fully well who it was.

I have intentionally avoided Calum and Luke all day since what occured at lunch. Calum, unfortunately, doesn't seem to understand that I need space. My phone has been shaking like a four year old on Christmas morning since lunch. It has been filled with messages from Calum saying things like "are you ok", "we need to talk about this", "Kat, talk to me. Please".

I wanted to respond, I truly did. But everytime I saw the black haired boy's name on my phone, the tears of embaressment began to resurface. How could Beth do this to me? Calum will never look at me the same way again. Our friendship will now be dissolved to an awkward relationship waiting to break apart.

I appreciated Calum's determination to talk with me, but I knew it was out of pity. I was never one to accept pity. I hated it. It made me feel..weak. Like I can't take care myself. That, and also the fact, that Calum could never like me the way I liked him. It was that fact, that made the thought of conversing with him, that much more agonizing.

Ashton's truck came into view as he slowed to a stop at the front of the school. I hasitngly ran up to the truck, keeping my focus on the vehicle and avoiding any attention to be drawn to me. But even so, I could still hear the soft whispers of my classmates. "Oh that's her. Look how fast she's walking. Must be getting ready to add to her little shrine". "Or maybe she has a duty in her diaper, may need big brother to change her". The remarks inflicted more pain as I heard the soft giggles follwing them.

I swallowed a lump in my throat as I opened the door and entered the vehicle. Ashton's smile welcomed me. "Hey, how was school"? "Fine". Ashton noticed my lack of eye contact with him as I nervously picked at my nails. "You okay"? His eyebrows scrunched in concern as I looked out the window, avoiding his eyes.

I saw some of my peers in groups, laughing, looking my way, and laughing more. I felt my eyes sting once again and held back the sadness that consuming my heart.

"I'm fine" I mumbled. I felt Ashton smoothly stroke my shoulder. "Kat, did something happen"? "I said I'm fine!" I snapped at him, anger exiting ny eyes like daggers. Ashton pulled away from me with a look of fear and concern. Guilt began to grip my heart as I laid back in my seat, hoping it would swallow me whole. "Can we just go now". There was silence in the car as I heard Ashton emit a soft sigh. "Alright", he said as he put the truck in gear and began to drive out of the school.

The car ride home was silent and I could feel Ashton's protective eyes glancing at me every few seconds. I just kept my eyes on my nails as I nervously scratched away the nail polish. It was so quiet in the car, that the vibration from my phone became audible. I could feel Ashton growing tense with every vibration that was emitted every few minutes.

There were moments when my brother turned to me and opened his mouth, but then shut it again and turned his concentration on the road.

In the time it took for Ashton to park on the driveway, I immediately unbuckled my seatbelt and exited the truck, slamming the door shut a bit too much. Before I reached the door, Ashton grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. "Hey," he said in a soothing tone, "what happened today"? I looked in his welcoming, hazel eyes and felt mine begin to sting again. I bit my lip holding back any outburst.

I wanted to cry right there. I wanted my older brother to embrace me as I cried in his arms remembering the betrayal, the embaressment, and the resentment I had acquired. But that would be weak. I am too old to be crying to big brother. I can handle myself. "Nothing you need to be concerned over". My words seemed to worry him more. "You sure?" He asked, his hand still gripping my arm. I swallowed another lump in my throat. "I just want to be alone right now".