unsteady // g.d. // completed

eighteen.

My stomach turns slightly as Matty waves a piece of three meat pizza in front of my face. I try to be as patient as possible, gently pushing his hand away from my face as he drunkenly goes on about how it takes a lot to not eat things as such, but the truth is it really doesn't if you have a strong will behind it. George approaches the booth we're at, looking annoyed as he sees Matty beside me.
"Alright, move."
Matty laughs, almost struggling to get up and move to the opposite side, but he finally makes it, George taking his spot and setting my spinach pizza in front of me.
"Thanks babe."
I smile softly at him before taking a bite. It was slightly annoying that drunken Matty tagged along for our pizza date, but I was holding out.
Before we uncomfortably stare at Matty eating messily while humming some tune any longer, George changes the subject.
"So where were you today?" He raises an eyebrow and smirks which causes my stomach to flutter a little.
"I found a nice coffee shop, and I may have scored a job there."
"What, that's great! Why the unsure look?"
I shrug, turning over the idea of telling George about Brandon. Maybe it's best to wait.
"I think it'll be fun. Just means I'll see you less."
"We'll make it work, Gia."
After we share a short kiss, our eyes immediately turn to Matty, who's not even paying attention, but laying his head down on the table, pizza still in hand, lazily taking small bites from it. George looks around the empty shop, the workers not even in sight, then back to me, cupping my face and giving me a more thoughtful kiss. After we pull away as a small group walks in, I rest my head on his shoulder, lacing my fingers with his. With my free hand I trace his tattoos on his arm while he finishes his pizza. Most of the time I feel as if he's my anchor keeping me from trailing off to that far off mental state I usually am in. Maybe it wasn't quite love yet, but it was something. That kind of thing takes time.

"Why have you been so quiet today?"
My shoulders shrug as we exit the elevator, hand in hand. I didn't want to tell him about how useless I feel or how annoyed I am with Matty for making feel so, but thankfully we had dropped him off with Adam.
"Gia, tell me."
"Georgeee..." I whine as we stop in front of his door, but he doesn't move.
"Tell me, then we can go inside."
He's crossing his arms now as I pout, but even to that, he doesn't give in.
"Fine. I feel so useless compared to you, because you're out here where lots of people know you, on tv and stuff, and your ex whatever was a model and fuck, George, you've downgraded so much. You can do way better."
His arms drop as he sighs deeply, unlocking the door and pushing it open. I'm scared of what will come next as he lets me enter before him. It's quiet as I follow him to his bedroom, sitting beside him on the bed as he's instructed me to do so.
"I don't want to hear you say anything like that again, okay? You have so much potential, and you're gorgeous. You could be a model, but that's besides the point. I chose you over Anna for a reason. Because I want down to earth Gia, not Anna, who's just terrible. Also, I'm not sure about the whole being as great as me because obviously-"
"G!" I giggle as he grins, taking my hands into his.
"Just don't question yourself anymore, alright?"
I nod before he leans in giving me a small kiss. My mind wanders as he tells me he'll be back, leaving me in his room with only the the occasional car honks coming from outside.
"You okay?"
I slightly jump at the sudden voice but I nod, taking Georges hand that he's held out.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
I'm placed in front of a beautiful view of the night city lights from the building roof. My mouth can't seem to find the right words as he unravels his hand from mine.
"It's beautiful isn't it?"
"Of course, G."
There's a bit of silence as he lights himself a cigarette while I stare out into the distance of shining lights.
"Have you ever been to France?"
I look over to him as he nods, staring out as I once did with a cigarette in his hand. I loved the way he furrowed his eyebrows when a cloud of smoke escaped his mouth.
"It's beautiful. The museums are breath taking, you'd love it. Maybe one day we can visit together."
I smile and nod, turning my attention back out into the distance.
"What's your family like?"
His voice is soft when he asks, but I don't question it.
"My dad is really sweet. He's the funniest guy ever. Lots of people say I look like him and, um, my mom was never really around after I was born. Mentally at least. She was into hard drugs, but dad says they at least numbed her before she died."
I realize I'm going a little too deep before I try to change the subject.
"Anyway, my step mom makes my dad happy. She takes care of him."
George slightly nods as he halfheartedly smiles down at me. He gently pulls me into him as I wrap my arms around his torso. The silence is comfortable now as we hold each other in the crisp winter air, examining the city horizon.
"My mum hasn't talked to me in a year. She doesn't approve of my lifestyle. No matter how successful we get, there's no pleasing her."
George humorlessly laughs before he takes one last drag from his cigarette before flicking it away.
"I just want to see my little brothers again."
He sighs as he gently runs a hand through my hair. I'm unsure of what to say as his eyes begin to become glossy.
"Let's go see them. Maybe she's changed her mind."
"Don't be so silly, Gia." He sniffles, unraveling himself from me.
"Sorry."
The cold air hits me harder without him so close as I'm feeling naïve for suggesting such a thing in the first place.
"No, I'm sorry. It's just a touchy subject for me. I'm really grateful to have someone like you, Gia."