unsteady // g.d. // completed

twenty six.

The feeling of my head rested in his lap and his hands tangled in my hair was comforting. We were on our second movie in, and our plates of mostly eaten grilled cheese and cake littered the coffee table along with our mugs of tea. George laughs softly at something that happens in the movie but I ignore it, keeping my eyes closed. Work today got cut short due to the snow, plus it was slow anyway, but I was emotionally drained, which made me even more tired.
"You sleepy?" George murmurs, pushing my hair back. I nod, turning my head to look up at him.
"I can't hang," I sigh.
"Let's go to bed."
We leave everything on the coffee table and turn off all the lights before changing into pajamas and crawling into bed. I slide on one of Georges shirt I've been sleeping in for awhile now and slide off my pants. His body is radiating warmness that I tuck myself into.
"Sorry, I'm cold," I laugh softly.
"It's okay," he assures quietly, wrapping an arm around me. We lay in silence, him closing his eyes and me taking in what I can that's faintly illuminated by a street lamp outside. The more I thought, the more I felt like I wasn't good enough for him. I was boring, overly sensitive, and problematic according to Matty. He could've been out partying, and maybe meeting new people, doing whatever musicians do to live on edge I suppose, yet here he was like every other day staying home with me and occasionally lulling my crying self to sleep. I suppose he got tired of it and stayed out all night, but he deserved it. I'm a handful.
"You okay?"
I hadn't even realized he was still awake until now as he wipes away a tear I didn't even know was there.
"Yeah, sorry."
"Don't be," he kisses my forehead while reassuringly rubbing my back. I hesitantly rest my hand on his face, gently stroking his cheek with my thumb before leaning in to kiss him first. He reciprocates, the kiss sweet and slow. I didn't want to boring or a handful, and I wish he knew how thankful I was for him. With enough force I've added to the kiss, I manage to push myself to where I'm straddling him. His hands rest lightly on my thighs while my tongue slides into his mouth. I move my hands from his face, down his chest, and under his shirt, never breaking the kiss. My hands trail over his stomach and I can feel him start to tense, his grip on thighs a little more forceful. I pull away, only to remove the long shirt I was wearing, leaving me in my underwear. He's eyeing me, and when I start to remove my bra he bites his lip, eyeing me even hungrier.
"Gia," he sighs in between the kiss that's continued but he pauses, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
There's a short silence as we look into each other's eyes, but I nod.
"Please," I whisper, almost begging like this was some sort of cure I've been wanting to get rid of the sadness, almost convinced it would make things better. When he continues the kiss and rolls us over so he's on top, I'm at leased convinced this was all I wanted in that moment.

My phone wakes me up, irritating me, but I open my eyes to see its the best text message I could get at the moment. Being wrapped in his arms while he softly snores is something I didn't want to untangle myself from.
"Who's that?" George groggily asks while burying his face into the crook of my neck.
"Brandon, I don't have to work today, yay snow," I answer, putting my phone down and reaching behind to gently massage his head.
"I didn't want you to leave me."
I giggle at how his sentence comes out muffled and at the way his breath tickles my neck. We lay like this until I'm pulled back into a deep sleep.
After sliding on some sweats and a shirt, I find George in the kitchen rinsing off our plates from last night.
"I would've done that," I hop onto the counter next to him, making me feel nostalgic of my kitchen talks with Liz and Emmie.
"Its okay," he grins, quickly placing a few soapy bubbles on my nose.
"Matty woke me up, calling a million fucking times. He wants us to go over to Denise's for who knows why," he sighs, scrubbing at a plate.
"Today?" I squeak, still feeling uneasy about what happened last time I was there.
"I won't let him tell you anything. He said it's about band stuff anyway."
I nod, still feeling nervous.
"How about more movies?" He offers, drying his hands.
"Yeah, okay," my voice trembles a little.
He grabs my face, planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek then carries me to the couch, plopping me down as I giggle. The majority of our day is spent side by side with soft kisses, gentle touches, and loud laugher. Everything feels alright again. When 5:30pm rolls around we decide on getting ready. I throw on a tan baggy jumper and blue jeans paired with my black boots, not really trying to look nice this time. After we bundle up with at least three jackets, and head out to the snowy slush and warm up the car, we arrive to Denise's house which I'm still willing to bail out of.
George and I hear the loud music coming from the other side, and he looks around at the many cars parked once more before he decides against knocking and walking straight in. There's quite a few people scattered around the quite huge house, no one I really recognize though.
"Fuck sake," George groans as Matty approaches us, just as bubbly as ever.
"Welcome friends," Matty laughs before taking a sip of wine from the glass he was holding.
"You're a liar."
Matty raises an eyebrow in confusion until George motions to everything around us.
"Oh, it's still band stuff, it's just I invited people over to celebrate. Loosen up, G. We just released an EP."
After Matty pats George on the shoulder, he waltzes off after some girl that walked by.
"Sorry, Gia. If you want we can go home."
"No it's fine, he's right though. We should celebrate," I smile up at him. I was feeling a little better that there were other people around rather than just all of us alone together. George smiles back before someone comes up to him to congratulate him. As they're talking for what seems like hours I spot someone familiar and excuse myself to tap them on the shoulder.
"Hey! Gia, right?"
"Yeah, and you're Van?"
"Yeah," he chuckles, adjusting the beer he's holding in his hand, "What brings you here?"
"This is a party for my boyfriends band apparently, I dunno, he didn't even know about it," I shrug.
"Wait, who's your boyfriend?" Van asks with a questionable look on his face.
"Um, George...Daniel."
"What?! No way!" His eyes grow wide and I can't help but laugh a his expression.
"I've been trying to run into one of the guys in the band all night. I might of snuck out way in with a mate," he grins, shrugging his shoulders.
"I'm gonna have to tell on you," I tease which makes him laugh.
"Whatever gets them to listen to my demo tape."
"Do you have it on you?"
"Well, maybe, yeah," he sheepishly scratches the back of his head.
I think for a minute, seeing George is surrounded by a couple of more guys, scoping out the place.
"Ooh, come on," I grab Van's arm and lead him towards the family room where the music became even louder. I feel him tense under my grip as we approach who I spotted.
"Hey Adam, this is my friend, Van," I look back at Van who seems at a complete loss for words.
"Nice to meet you," Adam grins, holding his hand out, which Van shakes while nervously congratulating him on his EP.
"Van is actually working on releasing something as well, right?" I smirk while Van nods. They start talking about his band, and pretty soon they warm up to each other. I quietly walk away while they're on the subject of confusing guitar equipment to find George again, but instead come face to face with Liz.
"Hey," she smiles softly before I look down at one of my jackets in my hand I had slid off just a moment before.
"Um, hi," my voice trembles as I can't bring myself to look her in the eye.
"You look nice."
"Thanks," I return a smile within a briefly exchanged a glance.
"I'm sorry, Gia. For everything."
"Yeah, um, it's okay," I murmur.
"It's not," she sighs.
Our heads snap in the direction where there's shouting coming from next to us, and we instantly roll out eyes at the same time realizing its Matty being, well, Matty. We laugh after we see each other's reaction.
"Can we talk? Outside?"
I nod before following her to the backyard. After we step outside we realize it's snowing again but Liz says she'll make it quick cause there isn't a corner of that house that is quiet, and I believe her because the crowd has almost doubled.
"I'm truly sorry, for everything. There's no excuse for me to have gone off like that. I just was feeling guilty and was a little angry you were still with George, but he doesn't seem so bad for you. I mean, he almost killed Matty just because he said something rude about you," she snorts.
"Why were you feeling guilty?" I look over to her, hopeful it wasn't anything terrible.
"Well," she swallows, "I was- I had a miscarriage?" It comes out as more of a question, and her eyes turn down to her shaking hands, chipping off her black nail polish.
"Liz, why didn't you tell me?" I pull her in for a big hug and let her cry into me. This would've been the second time this has happened, and I knew how much it meant to her to one day have kids of her own, she just couldn't ever find someone to settle down with.
"I didn't know how to tell you, and you were already upset about George. I had to tell someone so I told Ross, and he-he was there for me and I didn't want to worry you, but I should've told you."
"I'm sorry Liz. It'll be okay. You tell me whatever you need to no matter what, I just don't want us to be apart ever again," I reassuringly run my fingers through her hair before she pulls away to wipe at her eyes.
"Thanks Gigi. I've missed you so much," she smiles through sniffles.
"I've missed you too," I smile back before pausing, "So are you in Ross a thing?"
"Maybe," she shrugs, giggling softly.
"Elizabeth, this is huge!"
We both laugh as we walk back into the house, arms linked, and I feel like so far everything is definitely alright.
We roam around for a bit in the family room until we decide we could use a drink.
"Oh shit, this is so strong," I cough a bit after taking a sip of what Liz poured me while she laughs.
"You know me better," she grins before taking another sip while I agree. The house has grown louder and more crowded and I don't realize this until I'm having to yell over the music and chatter just to tell Liz I wanted to look for George. We link arms again and looking for at least someone we recognize while sipping on our heavily spiked drinks.
"Liz?" Ross eyes us at a total loss for words.
"I was looking for you," Liz grins, unlinking with me to engulf him in a hug. They share a quick peck and I can't help but smile because Liz being in a relationship again is something I hoped for. I wanted to see her happy.
"Hey," there's a hand at the small of my back now, making a huge smile spread across my face.
"Hi," I smile up to George before he's trading confused looks with Ross.
"Did I miss something?" George raises an eyebrow.
"Was just about to ask the same thing," Ross agrees.
"Best friends make up sooner or later," Liz beams, "So I suggest we find Adam...and Matty."
"Well let's get to it," George laughs while Ross nods.
The way Liz and I both intertwine ourselves with each of the guys makes me overwhelming happy. We find Adam and Van together and I laugh when George pulls me closer after I ask Van to join us in our search party. As we're walking in pairs, searching for Matty, George leans over to ask who Van is.
"The guy from the record store, remember?"
"Oh," George grimaces at the guy walking directly in front of me.
"Be nice, G!" I laugh.
"No," he pouts.
"At least listen to his music."
George groans in response as we come to a stop. I wrap myself around him, looking up and putting on my most innocent face.
"Pleaseeee?"
"Fine," he chuckles, bending over to give me a a quick peck on the lips, "Just for you."
"Thank you, G."
"You're very welcome, baby girl."
"Come on, we have shots to be doing, best friends!" Matty pops out of nowhere, pulling George by his sleeve, obviously a little tipsy, and leading us to the island not too far away where everyone else was already standing.
"Do you want to drink tonight?" George asks, concerned, as Matty is now pouring shots.
"I can handle it," I smirk.
"We'll see about that," he chuckles.