Make a Memory ✔

Chapter 14 : "Remember Me."(2010)

It was here now and although I wanted to grab Taylor's arm and run away from the reality I knew I couldn't. I can't take him away from everything his worked for and I knew if I asked him, begged him, he would stay. But I won't. I can't be the one who ruined his life, his career, his hard-earned success. I felt devastated, I've been reminding myself a billions times a day to remember it's gonna end. Telling myself not to fall for him. But oh no, he came with his devastating smile and his irresistible charm, his seductive voice and private shows and completely swept me of my feet. No one on earth would be able to resist that and now I have to just stand by and give it all up? I won't allow myself to hope that somehow things will work out. I won't wish that things were different. I had to let him go, although I knew I could fit in with his world. It's not just the awesome parties, the luxury, the VIP treatment everywhere - that was just an added bonus. It was because He would be there that I'd fit in no matter how hard it might be. I'll handle the Pappo's, the gossip magazines, I'll take everything the world throws at us as long as I knew he'd be right there with me. But I didn't know that and won't ask it of him to stay with me in New York. I didn't even realize that he was helping me into a cab and that we were on our way back to the hotel. I saw the flashing lights and I heard the questions and the screaming. I felt people bumping into me, at one point I even recognized that something hard hit my head, but I just kept on moving towards the door. I saw the Hotel staff rushing towards us and I felt Taylor's arm securely around my waist, heard his soft voice in my ear and also his harsh remark at someone. But it was like I wasn't there, I was aware of everything but only trough a haze. Everything seemed like a dream, or a nightmare. I couldn't escape from it, I felt dead to it all. Like I couldn't care anymore about anything. I snapped out of it as I felt something ice cold press above my left eye. I winched and looked up into Taylor's worried eyes.

"Ouch." I said as I lifted my hand up to my eye.

"Hold still." His voice was soft but I could hear the strain. See it too. Right there in the lines around his mouth and eyes. I frowned and gasped as the motion set a stab of pain into my brain.

"What happened?" Taylor took away the ice pack and lifted a band-aid.

"You kind of.... um... zoned out, I think. Apparently word got out that we aren't in the hotel anymore and the Paparazzi waited for us. There wasn't anyway to get into the hotel without being seen. It was out of control and the doorman tried to help but one of the Paparazzi's got past him and he was so desperate for a photo that he hit you in the head with his camera. If I wasn't so worried about getting you inside, I swear I would have..."

He put the band aid exactly where I felt the slightly burning pain.

"Ouch." I said again and tried to laugh. Seemed like all I could say was ouch. "I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"I'm fine." He looked deep into my eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yip. Got it all back together now. Sorry, you know, for - freaking out on you."

He picked me up and walked to the bedroom where he laid me down on the bed.

"Can we talk?" He asked.

I bit my lip. I knew he'd do everything to keep his promises, whatever they were. But did I want him to make a promise that we both knew he won't be able to keep? Long-distance relationships hardly ever worked and a relationship constantly in the spotlight never worked. I believe it's because of the lack of privacy. A relationship needed hard work and how could it work if there was constant gossip, rumors and flipping paparazzi's!!! This was my last night with Taylor and I'll be damned if we spend it talking about "maybe's" and "what if's". At that moment Bon Jovi was playing in my head. I sat up and kicked off my shoes as I reached for Taylor, pulling him to the edge of the bed. I started humming the song in my head as I stood up on my knees so that I was level with him. I pulled his shirt over his head and mine followed right after his. My hand stroked the lines of his face. Memorizing every single feature, every slightly visible freckle, every laugh line. Branding it to my memory. His hand were resting lightly on my waist and he was looking into my eyes as though he could see my soul. I was still humming softly, but now I wanted him to hear the words for himself.