Make a Memory ✔

Chapter 20 : "Someone Like You." (2001)

I asked Paul to phone Lucy back while I took a quick shower and changed. I put on my grey Diesel jeans, bright blue Christiaan Louboutin heels, tight-fitting plain black Versace T-shirt, my purple knee length coat and yellow Donatello Rufrano clutch completed my outfit. Paul took me to one of the new clubs in Soho. We had a blast dancing and drinking the night away, at about three am we went to a bar to chill before heading home. It was so laid back, there was an artist with his guitar sitting to one side of the bar singing and everyone was relaxed. It was the kind of crowd didn't need the noise and beat of clubs, but still wanted to go out with friends. By the time we left the club, you could see the sun on the horizon.
“Wow! Did we really pull an all nighter?” I asked as I was busy yawning.
Paul laughed. “We sure did. Did you have fun?”
I smiled at him as we got into the taxi. “Yes, I had a great time! It was just what I needed thanks Paul.”
“You wanna grab some breakfast?” He asked after I got out at the apartment.
I yawned again. “Lunch?” he asked, correcting himself.
“How about dinner? I'm kind of wiped out.”
“Sure! Do you mind if I bring someone along?” He asked suddenly.
“A girl?” I raised my brows.
“Yes, we've kind of been dating.” He smiled sheepishly.
“Paul Garret in an actual relationship? Now this I've got to see.” I teased him.
“Sure Paul, bring her along. I'd love to meet the girl who tamed you.”
“Well, I won't say I'm tamed. She's quite experimental herself.”
I threw up my hands. “Okay, you can stop now. I don't need details.”
“We'll coma and pick you up at about seven okay?”
I nodded and turned to go into the apartment building. I've been thinking a lot tonight and I think it's time for a bit of a change...

“You want to do what?” Lucy and Johnny asked in unison.
“I want to get my own place.” I told them firmly.
It was Wednesday night and we were sitting at one of favourite restaurants. I suspect that it's our favourite because it's walking distance from the flat, it was small and cosy and it had great food. After Lucy came back she asked me all the questions that I've prepared myself for. Stuff like 'why did you go?' and 'why didn't you say goodbye?'. I didn't give her the same answers I gave Julius. I told her nonchalantly that I had to get back for work immediately and so on. I didn't asked the things I so desperately wanted to know. If I only showed the slightest interest she'll tell her mother – or worse, Taylor and then all the trouble and fresh heartache would be for nothing and eventually it would all come back anyways. After I've told Nicky and Rico about who Elle really was, Nicky were furious. Not because Lucy lied to all of us, oh no! Nicky was mad at Lucy because she told Johnny but not him and he was mad at me for telling Paul before I told him. After a very uncomfortable dinner with everyone present, Johnny stood up at the end and asked, all innocence, if we could go clubbing now that we were done with all the awkward stuff. Everyone loosened up and things went back to normal again.
“Why do you want your own place?” Lucy asked now.
“Firstly, because I think it's time for a change. Second, then you'll guys have more space and thirdly, my working hours are clashing with yours and I'm going to need a lot of quietness around me during the next couple of months as we have seminars and stuff every month at work.”
“We don't need extra space.” Johnny protested.
“Yes you do. You're equipment is gathering dust in your room because there isn't room to use it. I know how you hate not being able to work at home. If I move out, you guys can move into my bedroom. It's much bigger than yours and then you have a spare bedroom when Sue and Tom wants to come and visit.”
I had a good point and they had no argument so each morning from then on found either me, Lucy and Johnny, me, Rico and Nicky or me, Paul and Angela in the Starbucks paging through the papers looking for apartments. Angela was a petite girl, with blonde hair cut in a pixie style. She worked in a record store, but she studied part time to be a n artist. She was the artist person I've met who doesn't dress or act weird, like most of them are these flower children. She was just a “normal” ( as can be ) New Yorker and she fit in with our incredibly various circle of friends. We found a couple and I went during my (extended ) lunch hour to check it out. I always seemed to find a problem with something. It was either too big, too small, too narrow, too wide or too expensive. Then about three weeks after we began our search, Angela found the perfect apartment listed on the internet. It was located on the Upper West side, very close to Central park and only about four block from the museum. Perfect for me. Nicky and I went to check it out.
“Lee! This is so you!”
And I couldn't agree more. It was a loft apartment, not huge and not a shoebox either. It only had one bedroom, a bathroom with a shower, a living area, dining-room and a kitchen. It would be my first apartment that had a closed kitchen since my aunt's house. I loved it. The entire apartment had huge windows, the kitchen and dining-room overlooking the street below, but the bedroom and living area overlooked the small courtyard that was surrounded by the apartment block. Half of the courtyard was stone, with lovely tables and chairs half hidden next to over flowing flower pots, palm trees and shrubbery. The rest of the courtyard was covered with grass. Although the flower pots were empty and the grass wasn't really green, it must be breathtakingly beautiful in the spring and summer. My neighbours were a bit older than me, a married couple with no kids so there'd be no noisy parties till the early hours or any babies screaming late at night. Fantastic!!! I moved in the next week and I treated myself with furniture, deciding to leave my other stuff for Johnny and Lucy. I bought a stunning dining table, that was almost an exact replica of my mother's old dining table. It was a bit smaller, big enough for eight people to sit and if you really wanted to you could squeeze in another two persons. I bought it at a second hand shop in Brooklyn and it was still in impeccable condition. I bought a plush sofa and a couple of loose chairs in matching colours, a faded light brown. As a housewarming present, Nicky and Rico bought me a carpet for the living room in a darker brown. Johnny and Lucy gave me three sets of curtains, for the living area, dining-room and kitchen respectively. I decided to put the orange up in the living room, I can get smaller pillows in bright colours later and complete the bright look in the living area. The wine red curtains I draped in the dining-room as there was already blinds hanging in-front of the window. The kitchen curtains were a soft and yet bright green with silver sequins giving some sparkle. It made my little home look like a home. Especially after Angela brought me a bunch of flowers, followed by Paul carrying an incredible large pot-plant. I was settle in just in time for Christmas and since everyone, except Paul, visited their families on Thanksgiving, they've decided to spend Christmas in New York. The snow was already packed to the sides of the roads and they turned most of the roads into ice rinks. I walked to the museum in the morning, enjoying my walk and enjoying my heated office even more once I got to the museum. My seminar was a huge success and I even got invited to some of the colleges and universities for lectures. I decorated my apartment for Christmas, a large white tree in the corner of my living room, ornaments hanging from the branches and lights glowing happily. I made a roasted chicken for dinner with rice, vegetable, potatoes and fresh bread as side dishes. For pudding I made chocolate fudge and a Christmas Oven-Cake I saw on Nigella's show last week. It was a huge hit with everyone and we moved on through to the living room to open the presents that were stacked beneath the tree. I got a stunning pair of Guess knee length boots from Nicky, a Dissona Italy handbag from Nicky. A collection of books from Johnny and Lucy, which included Wuthering Heights and Love in the time of Cholera. Paul and Angela handed me an envelope. Inside were seven tickets to the New Years Party being held in Times Square. I told Angela that I wanted to go, but I didn't feel like going alone and everyone probably already had plans for New Years.
“You guys! You're all seriously staying for New Years?!”
I couldn't believe it this was going to be awesome! Not only did I get to spend Christmas with my friends but I scored New Years with them too!! Lucy cleared her throat.
“This came for you today.” She handed me a big brown box. I sat down and opened it quickly. “It's from back home.” She informed me as everyone gathered around to see what I got. There was a knitted scarf and mittens, a couple bottles of Sue's strawberry jam, a framed photo of the entire family, including me and Taylor. I remembered we took a photo just before the Thanksgiving dinner. Another framed photo of me getting my make over. Lu and Jess both smiled into the camera and you could see Bella peeking curiously over the couch. The last framed photo was the one that made me want to cry. Bella was standing in a pretty pink dress, smiling into the camera, it was the first time I saw her smile, she was wearing my necklace. The photo had a note on the back.

She never takes it off and she's laughing again. Thank you so much!
                            All our love,
                                          Julius, James and Bella


“Oh Lucy, tell them I said thank you!” I swallowed hard on the tears, but I managed to keep it down. Lucy and Johnny picked up their coats.
“You can't be leaving already? It not even five yet!” If it was summer the sun would still be high in the sky!
“Sorry Lena but my dad's in town for the night and we promised to go and have a drink with him at his hotel.” Johnny apologized and gave me quick kiss. Lucy hugged me and they were gone. I made some coffee for the rest of my guests, but after a while Paul and Angela also left, Paul had to work and Nicky and Rico didn't stay long after that, they were leaving early tomorrow morning to fly to Canada, they wanted to be back before New Years. I started cleaning up, washing the dishes, throwing out the torn gift wraps and empty boxes. I arranged my framed photos on my television cabinet and put the rest of my gifts away. After pouring myself a glass of wine, I switched on the television, but the only programs showing were those Christmas movies where all the different types of angels visited the selfish rich guy and at the end he's become a better person. I sighed and switched it off again. I looked through my book case, my new books were already on the case. I decided on the Merchant of Venice, it was one of favourite Shakespeare books and the pages showed wear after years of re-reading. Now this was the life. Peace and quiet and I could hear myself think and I could do what I want. Okay I found a couple of problems with the above mentioned. I had time to think and the first thing that popped into my head was Taylor, I could do what I want and the first urge I got is to go open that very tightly sealed box with all of the photo's, magazine and souvenirs from when Taylor and I were together. I might as well... I took the box out of the top of my closet and opened it with a knife. I looked through the magazines reading the articles about us and laughing at how ridiculous it all sounded to me now. Some of them were really farfetched! I put them back into the box and picked up my Second Hand Serenade album. I haven't listened to this for almost six months. I put it in my CD player and pushed play. The soothing sounds were so good as I looked through the photos we took that one day when he cancelled all his interviews. We had so much fun that day. I got carried away, back to that sunny day just “suppose” started playing.

Suppose that I missed you. Suppose that I cared,
and suppose that I spend all my nights running scared,
and suppose that I was never there.
And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you,
and tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through,
and I can't hold on to you, so I guess I feel lonely too.
Suppose we were happy, suppose it was true,
and suppose there were cold nights, but we somehow made it through,
and suppose that I'm nothing without you...
Slow way down, this break down's eating me alive,
And I'm tired, this fight is fighting to survive.
Tell me a secret - I want it.
Tell me a story - I need it.
I'll listen attentively, I'll stay awake all night.
Allow me to whisper - so softly
There's nothing I did mean - please help me.
But it's in my body, it's strong enough to fight,
let's makes this right.
Suppose that I was wrong,
Suppose that you were here
And suppose I reached out and caught your tears,
And suppose this fight just disappeared...
And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you,
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we could do,
And I can't hold on to you, so I guess I'll feel lonely too.





“Lena! Come on we're going to be late!” Johnny banged on my door for about the fourth time in the last half hour.
“Johnny stop moaning! It's not even eight yet! New Years is only at twelve you know!” I yelled back as I applied my light coloured lipstick. They were all right outside, waiting in my very small living room for me to get ready. Nicky taught me that you can't rush perfection, so I'm taking my time. This is going to be my first 'Happy New Year' that is actually going to be happy in almost ten years, so I want to look perfect! I was wearing black Armani pants, bright blue Jimmy Choos, a long sleeved Polo top and my newly bought Gucci buttoned jacket. I saw Katherine Heigl wearing the same one the other day on Style Her Famous. It might be a tad overdressed for a New Years party, but I felt going over the top tonight. I've pinned some of my hair up, but the rest hung past my shoulders in their usual disorder. When I opened my bedroom door Nicky stood up and clapped his hands feverishly.
“Beautiful Lee! Perfect for the occasion.”
He mocked wiping a tear from his eye. “I'm so proud!” I curtsied towards him.
“Thank you. I had great tutors.” I winked at Rico.
“Okay okay. Whatever, can we go already!” Johnny interrupted impatiently.
“Yeah. We're missing the party.” Paul sided with Johnny.
“Fine let's go!”
I surprised to find a limo parked outside the flat, and even more so when the driver opened the door for Lucy and she got in, everyone following her.
“Are we seriously going in a limo?” I whispered to Rico.
“Honey it's New Year in Times Square, a limo is required.” Nicky turned back to say to me. I glanced quickly at Rico and got into the limo. For the first time tonight I looked at everyone's clothing very carefully. Lucy was wearing dark blue, I was guessing it was Diesel and I'm sure I saw that coat in the Chanel boutique. Angela's clothes were also designer, I think Versace. Johnny was wearing Guess jeans and his Hugo Boss pin-stripped shirt beneath his jacket and Paul had his Dolce & Cabbana suit on. Nicky and Rico were wearing the same suits, except for the colour. Nicky's was cream and Rico were  pitch black. I was sure, but it looked like Marc Jacobs.
“Guys is this like a really classy thing we're going to?”
“No, but New Years is a major event, this party were going to is going to be awesome! Everyone who needs to be there will be there.” Nicky informed me excitedly
“Okay cool.” As long as there were tons of strangers it'll be fine. Since Christmas eve when I went through those photo's of my and Taylor I couldn't stop thinking about him. There were two lines from that song that was playing that I just couldn't forget...

Suppose I was wrong,
Suppose you were here...

I was wrong about leaving Thanksgiving the way I did. I've come to realize that in the last couple of days. I could have stayed there and me and Taylor could have worked something out. My mom taught me that if I wanted something I shouldn't ever give up and if you put your mind to something then you can make it work. As long as you believed and never gave up. I didn't believe and I gave up. My mom would be so disappointed in me if she knew what a coward I was. That was new years resolution. To be brave and to go after my hearts desire with everything in me The only problem I had now, was I didn't know how I could make things right or even if I could make things right with Taylor. What if he went back to Los Angeles and straight into the arms of Maria Alsuado, or even worse, Samantha Stormbeck....
“Lee, come on!” I blinked and looked up at Nicky who was standing next to the limo's open door. Were we downtown already? Wow.
“Lee, you okay?” He asked as I didn't move.
I shook my head and got out. “I'm fine. I just came to a sudden decision that's all.”
Nicky looked at me with curious eyes. “Share?”
“I've decided I'm going to call Taylor.” six pairs of eyes turned towards me and the entire group fell silent.
“What?” Paul asked softly.
“I'm going to call Taylor.” I repeated firmly.
“You don't have his number remember?” Johnny sided with Paul, both looking down at me in disbelief.
“So, I won't give up as easily as last time. I have to do something.” I threw up my hands.
“I swear if he hurts you again...” Paul started saying and Johnny nodded in agreement without needing to know the rest of Paul's sentence.
“Guys, relax. Let's just go party and talk about this later okay?” Angela intervened and I shot her a grateful glance. I didn't want to cause a scene and I only meant to tell Nicky and not have the entire group hear my confession.
Nicky and Rico walked beside me as we made our way towards the noise of the party.
“Are you sure Lee?” Rico asked softly.
I could see Paul, Johnny and Lucy all straining to hear my answer.
“Yes. I am almost a hundred percent sure that I made a mistake by leaving Thanksgiving.” I told them confidently.
“But what if it doesn't work out?” Paul turned back to ask, still a bit agitated.
“Then I'll know that at least I've tried. But this doubt... the wondering whether or not it might have worked out will drive me insane!” I shook my head.
“That's the spirit!” Nicky nodded his head in approval.
“Besides she doesn't have to go to any extremes to get a hold of him.” Lucy announced.
“Yeah?” Johnny asked with a reflection of Paul's dark scowl on his face too.
“Um, Hun, I'm his little sister remember?” She smiled up at Johnny and it was the first time since they've been together that Johnny looked disappointed by Lucy. She laughed and kissed him.
“Don't look like that. If we broke up wouldn't you do anything to try and win me back?”
He looked down at her and shrugged. “Suppose.” He mumbled.
“Okay so it's agreed that we'd all support Lee and help her in any way possible.” Nicky looked at everyone, they nodded even if Paul and Johnny's were grudgingly.
“Good. Now let's go party already!” I announced and started of towards the Square.
They've blocked off the roads and turned Times Square into a street party. There were lights shining up into the sky, large speakers everywhere, blaring out music. Counters were set up to act as bars and it looked like so much fun! I could feel the adrenaline and excitement emitting from the crowd as we gave our tickets to the security who let us through.
Just as we were in the centre of the dance floor, Chris Brown’s “Five More Hours” started playing and it set the best vibe for the rest of the night.
We were all having so much fun that I couldn't believe that it was almost midnight, but it was and the DJ announced that there's one minute to go before 2010. So we all gathered around on the dance floor. I looked around me and I could see Nicky and Rico making their way towards me, as were Johnny and Lucy an a few feet to my right I saw Paul and Angela bursting through the crowd. I was having so much fun that I didn't even realize that we've all split up.
“Okay everyone ready for the New Year?” Johnny asked as Paul handed everyone a shooter from a tray.
“To good friends and good times!” Johnny announced.
We quickly drank our shots and turned towards the huge digital clock.

Ten...

I looked at my friends and it hit me right between the eyes,

Nine...

When that clock strikes twelve,

Eight...

They are all gonna be making out,

Seven...

And I'm going to be standing here alone,

Six...

I could kick my own ass for leaving Taylor!

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

Here it comes... Loneliness in a crowd of hundreds....

“Mind if I cut in?”

That voice I would recognize in my sleep.

One...

“Taylor?”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” the crowd erupted around us.

I didn't have time to think as he kissed me. It was that kiss... You know, the one that made your toes curl, your insides melt and somewhere through the fogginess that I call a brain I realized that this means that everything is going to work out. It just had to! Hey, Looks like I'm not standing alone while everyone around me is making out. I looked up into his eyes and I couldn't believe he was standing right here in-front of me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked wonderingly.
He kissed me again. “What do you think I'm doing here?”
Could I dare hope? I took a deep breath and remembered my resolution. Brave...
“I love you.” I told him quickly, before I could chicken out!
Taylor laughed and swung me around in his arms. “That's the best news I've heard all year.” He kissed me again and I laughed.
“I should hope it's the best news you've heard all year since the year is only a few minutes old.” That's when I remembered about the rest of the guys. I turned to look at my friends. Nicky and Rico was still blissfully unaware of the world around them as they were still making out. Lucy looked close to tears, Angela was gaping at Taylor like most girls do when they see him in real-life for the first time. That's what I must have looked like when we first met at the Stalking Prey. And Johnny and Paul? They didn't look happy but I could see that they weren't about to hit Taylor, so that was good.
“How did you know where I was?” I asked Taylor as the thought occurred to me.
“Lucy told him we were all coming here and I got him a ticket for just in case.”
Nicky started but Lucy took over telling the story. “So when you said earlier that you wanted to call him, I called him and he came over.”
“I was in town with Kevin and the guys so I just ditched them and came here instead.”
“I thought you weren't going to make it!” Rico exclaimed.
Looks like everyone were in on it. Aw! I had the most amazing friends ever!!!
I turned back and kissed Taylor again. “Did Lucy tell you I moved into my own place?”
“She did mention something like that.” He murmured into my ear.
“Want me to show it to you?” I asked with devils dancing in my eyes.
“I'd love to see it.”
We didn't even say goodbye to anyone, too preoccupied with just getting back to my apartment. He didn't look around, only picked me up and asked me which way the bedroom was. In between kisses he kept telling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was about everything that had happened.
“Don't worry about it love.” I whispered to him.
“Can we make this work?” he wondered aloud.
“I won't give up until it does work.” I swore to him.
“Neither will I.” He kissed me deeply. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”