Chapter 46

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"So you're never coming back?" I asked him for the third time, hoping I'd finally get a proper answer.

Harry lowered his head and nibbled at my bare arm. Feeling a quick, sharp pain, I lurched it away before letting a smile slip. "I'm not a piece of marshmallow, you know."

"You sure do taste like one." He nudged his nose at my cheek before forcefully tugging me close to him. I stopped resisting and found myself tumbling into his chest. Harry rested against the tree trunk behind us and my back lazed on his torso.

"Would you answer me already?" I bugged as our bodies agilely moved in sync with our breathing.

"My mum's going to send me to proper therapy sessions there for my condition." He told me, his chin propped on my head.

"What condition? It's not like you're crazy. You're perfectly fine now." I gripped onto his arms which were securely wrapped around me.

"Helena, stop saying nothing's wrong with me." He responded, his tone firmer now.

"But there really isn't." I insisted.

Without a reply, he moved me away from him before standing up. He dusted the delocalised sprigs of grass off his jeans. "You don't know, Helena."

I got on my feet and held his hand. "So you want to leave?"

"Of course I don't."

"Then maybe I can convince your mum or-"

"Why would you do this for me?"

"I just..." I paused and let out a sigh, my eyes watering up. "I can't lose you, I... love you, Harry." After those words were blurted, I instantly felt blood halt in my veins as I awaited his response.

Emotions were abruptly drained from his face as he continued to watch me with his mouth slightly agape. "Helena, I  need to tell you something." He diverted his gaze to the grass below and slid his hands into his pockets.

I airily nodded as I struggled to keep my heart from thrusting out of my chest. Why couldn't those words be returned?

The tip of his tongue lightly brushed his upper lip before he parted his lips to speak. "Helena," His hand travelled up my arm and squeezed. "Remember the time... uh..."

"What, Harry? You're killing me." I urged as a tear escaped despite my attempts to hold it in and rolled down my cheek.

"R-Remember when your parents received those pictures and videos of Daniel drunk at a college party?"

"Yeah, the ones Josh sent?"

"I sent them, Helena." He pursed his lips.

I felt a strangling sensation in my throat as those dreadful memories came flooding back. "You... did plan this all along. You were... playing me?" I murmured as I tugged my arm out of his grip and took a few steps back. Tears began to pour as I turned and ran from him.

I heard desperate cries of my name but I couldn't be bothered.

_____________________________

I'd lost my appetite again. A glass of full-cream milk and a few pecan cookies were enough to statisfy my stubborn stomach. That was all I'd eaten the whole day after what happened at the park.

My phone was taken away by my parents because they were afraid I'd contact Daniel again - which I think is nonsense. I couldn't believe they would think I was that stupid to let a guy like him back into my life. 

Then there was the other factor which contributed to my sleep loss and lack of appetite... Harry.

I was such an emotional wreck. I was so damaged I bawled my eyes out over the smallest things. I cried when Jelly Bean clawed at my bed sheet and I cried when I saw Harry's Rolling Stones t-shirt sprawled across my bedroom floor. I felt so vulnerable and depressed.

No wonder Harry couldn't say those three words back. He was playing me all along. I was such an idiot for falling into traps all the time. What did I ever do to deserve to have lying, wicked people around me? Why was I always the prey?

And the smallest but only thing you can do to release at least the slightest bit of agony is by crying. And so I did.

My life was suddenly bland... colourless. Empty. I'd emotionally invested so much in Harry that I had nothing else left now.

I was pathetic.

Life in Gripleville had transitioned back to its former state, except it was now broken and unmendable. 

I lay on my bed, the warm amenity of my bed effusing a slight sense of complacency amidst the all the shit that had been happening. I was in a position that helped relieve my exhaustion, a position in which my limbs were all spread out across the width of my bed and my head engulfed in the fleece of my massive pillow.

My exhausted, bloodshot eyes darted around my dimly lit room, searching the dark corners for Jelly Bean. He wasn't anywhere in sight. He always disappeared whenever I needed him.

"Helena..." My mother popped her head in from the door left ajar. "We're having mashed potatoes and cheese tonight. Want me to bring it up?"

"I'm not hungry." I gave a muffled reply as I flipped myself over and buried my face in the pillow.

I felt her hand on my shoulder and I heard a sigh. "Are you acting this way because the Styles are leaving tomorrow?"

"Mum, I just don't want to talk right now."

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