Second Chance (JaDine Fanfiction)

Chapter 3: How It Started

Nadine's POV

They say that it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. But for me, I say it's better to never have loved at all. Then I could have been living my life just as I did years ago, before I met someone who would tear me up just like that.

Just as I thought I have moved on and start to live my life again, our paths crossed again. Unexpectedly. Every emotion and the affliction came back in one snap. And that is not the worst -- he suddenly kissed me. He was the man who gave me my first kiss. It felt good, and I have been longing to feel his gentle kisses again. But not now. Not anymore.

That jerk. He has never really learnt.

I admit that I liked him before, or even loved him... head over heels. But I've managed to keep it to myself. Because, I can't risk what we have.

It all started way back four years ago, I was only fourteen then. We were on the same Chemistry class. Did not notice him at first, unlike all of the girls in the room did. Until we were on the same group in laboratory.

"Uh...hi?" there was a sense of awkwardness in a greeting. I looked up to see who the shy guy is only to have my jaw drop. This is the guy who just blankly stared at me while I was helping the group acquaint themselves with each other. I got pissed at first, he was not even listening. But I have to admit, he is the most beautiful man my eyes have ever laid on. His face was just as perfect -- his brows are bushy that it complimented his gray eyes, a nose that would drive you jealous, and, lips that were plump and reddish.

"At parang hilaw na kano itong isang ito. God, he is perfect. But why do I feel like drooling? Am I just dazed or am I getting nuts?" the thought left my mind blown away.

"Sorry kanina. I got out of focus. Uhmm..Robert James Reid...but you can call me James. And, you are?"He extend his hand and smirked at me. "By the way, hindi ako exchange student."

It took me a while before I have pulled my thoughts together.

My goodness, it's as if I just had myself embarrassed.

I shook my head before I extend my hand to shook with his. "Ganun ba? Akala ko kasi, eh." then I chuckled. "Oh, Nadine Alexis Lustre. Call me Nadine. And, okay lang yun," I exclaimed as I smiled. Butterflies were insanely inside my gut, flying from all directions.

Then I thought to myself, it was the beginning of a good story.

Six months passed by before I came to realize that, maybe, I kind of like him. Or am I the only one who took too long to notice this good-looking boy existed in our class? So after I gave myself one more month to think things thoroughly, I chose to resort the expression of my feelings in a diary. It did not mention anything about a boy nor his name. Every journal was either a quoted text or a caption from a song that just explains it all.

I wrote these onto the pages of my diary:

Cause my heart starts beating triple times with thoughts of loving you on my mind.
- Weak, SWV
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Hear my heart, crying in silence...
Trying to run from your smile...
Pretending this game's a waste.
Knowing you'll never be mine.

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I liked you, but liking you and confessing meant I could lose you.
So, I won't...I'll never tell how much you mean to me.

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"Hello, gorgeous. Ano yang sinusulat mo?" James said as he came peeking on a small notebook that I've been writing at. He is curious, I cannot tell him the truth.

It is about you. And I like you.

If only those were easy to confess as eating pie. But it does not go that way. And I don't have the guts to do something that I'm certain would embarrass me.

"Ha? eh...wala. Ano lang to, I'm trying to familiarize a song for my parents' anniversary," I lied. Why on earth did I mention my parents? Their anniversary? It was just a week ago!

"What song? Baka alam ko o kabisado ko," he is just trying to help. He is indeed helpful, kahit siguro i.ask mo na gawin siyang clown for a party, he' d be happy to do that.

"Uhmm...Nevermind, James. I found the lyrics na through Google. The only thing I need to do is, sing it by heart." and there goes my lying mouth again. Why can't this guy just leave it?

"Pakialamero," I thought to myself.

Out of the blue, he asked me, "What? Kumakanta ka?"

Holy Christ! What is this guy up to? I've been keeping my aspiration to sing only to myself. I have a mellow, slightly husky, feminine voice.

I grew irritated. With furrowed eyebrows, I told him, "Yes. And it's not like I am the worst bathroom singer you'll ever meet." My temperament just got me wanting to doze off and leave him.

Walking away as fast as I can, and breathing was rather hard. Then a pair of strong and masculine hands were stopping me from walking further.

"Nadine, ba't ka tumakbo palayo? Did I say something wrong?" his eyes were pleading. I turned my head and looked away from his stare. I find it inappropriate, like, I am acting like a girlfriend being embarrassed by her man.

Nagtanong ka pa'ng mokong ka. Palibhasa, show off ka. Hinaharana mo buong class natin.

"No, you didn't. I just need to leave. Hindi kasi tama, eh." I said directly. Ommitting the part na parang napahiya ako sa tanong niya.

"You are lying. I've known you for almost a year, Nadine. Your eyes tend to look away when you are uncertain about what you tell people, especially if alam mo na hindi yun totoo." his face became remarkably serious. But I was stubborn. I cannot just risk exposure. Hindi pwedeng ipabasa ko lang sa kanya as if he is not the person I am referring to.

"Eight months, by the way. We've been just friends for EIGHT MONTHS." my voice is now firmly stressing how long we've been friends.

"Been just friends?" he asked out of curiosity. My face just flushed. He added, "Don't say that, Nadine. I find you pretty than the rest from day one. But you chose to be the closest friend I could have."

I just got speechless. It feels as if I want to jump with what I've heard, or run off because I cannot bear the embarrassment. He got me right, he understood what I meant even my statement was just randomly implying us being friends.