Second Chance (JaDine Fanfiction)

Chapter 21: Begin Again

The pain was too real, I needed time to heal.
I was vengeful; of hatred, my heart was full...
But right before I realized, the wounds I had were all healed.
And my heart feels like new, like it could begin anew.

Nadine's POV

"I want you to go out and never come back." I said as I began to walk away from where we were standing.

He knelt. "Maawa ka sa'kin, Nadine. A year away from you was nothing but torture. For three months, I came home to Australia half-alive. I got back to get to you, but your dad told me to give you the time and space until you are ready to let go of the past." He begged for me.

He came back three months after?

My heart paced faster. I wanted to let him in my life again. But because of his absence all those time, my heart has no more place for a second chance...

And what does my dad have to do with all of these?

Papa has his reasons... and he might just think he is protecting me.

"Bakit? Wala ka bang nakitang iba do'n sa pinanggalingan mo?" I said it with bitterness and fear. Fear that he might have replaced me for the months that he has been there.

He shook his head. "I was broken...my heart was never good enough for another beating. And when I tried to move on, thinking that you might have found someone new, I failed...because I still try to find you in every girl that I lay my eyes on." then he held me by the hand, "No one's better than you. Nobody has made me feel the way you've always had. Marinig ko lang pangalan mo, my mind gets back to the times where it used be us -- just us."

Tears fell down from my eyes, "For six months, hinintay kita, James. Because I still long for you...kahit ang sakit-sakit na. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na makita lang kita, okay na. Na, kung sakali makikipagbalikan ka sa akin, oo kaagad yung isasagot ko..." and I cried. "Pero wala, eh. You were out of sight. Wala ka... I spent my afternoons strolling in the park alone, my birthday was just another birthday kasi wala ka na..."

"All the while, I watched you from a distance, Nadine. Ayaw kong lumabag sa kasunduan namin ng daddy at grandfather mo. They wanted you to move on. I respected that." his statement was full of sincerity.

I was more than hurt. "Bakit ba takot na takot kayo sa kanila?" and I looked at him, "Of all people, I thought you were brave enough to fight for us...because I thought I mean more to you."

James' POV

I hugged her, I want to make her feel assured that I'm not going anywhere anymore. That this time, I will fight for what we have...

"But I cannot contain myself from a distance any longer, kaya pinili kong puntahan yung park that afternoon. Because I was certain na pupunta ka doon." she was sobbing. "I know I'm breaking the rules...but I've missed you so much. One year is too long. You never know how it feels like dying a little each day..." tears fell from my eyes. "Alam mo ba gaano kasakit yung nakikita kita pero hindi kita magawang lapitan, because I am not allowed to? To want to hug and kiss you so bad but I have to keep my distance? And when I knew na pupunta kayo ng LA? I felt everything was jeopardized. And that longing has been killing me since that day."

She was looking at me in the eyes. Her hazel eyes were finding answers but they were filled with pain. "You...came back. But the girl you've left a year ago is gone. She is long gone."

I was never sure of how it will work out, but I am pretty sure I never want to lose her again. "Yes, I did. And I know she has realized things and grew up...but whatever the outcome of this, I am risking it all. I don't care if she is gone. What's important is you are here...I'm willing to start a new chapter with you. No matter how long it will take you to trust me again."

She cried, "You have no idea how much I've been holding myself back...so I would not be weak by your charm anymore. And so you could realize how you've made me strong. So that when this day comes, hindi na ako yung masasaktan kundi ikaw. Kasi kapag hindi ko ginawa ito, para ko na ring inamin na talunan ako. That I'll always be the fragile girl you once knew."

"I never and would never think less of you, Nadine. You will always be the best thing that has happened in my life. Even if there might be no more next time, nor a second chance for us." I said, trying to reach out to her.

When I thought things were almost over, fate has moved already, according to how it should be. Thank heavens. She nodded slowly, "I think I may have been punishing myself all these time for something I never gave time to listen. Hindi man lang kita hinayaang mag-explain...but Billie told me the truth. He did it on purpose kasi, he sees you for a rival." her lips began to paint a smile on them. "I feel terrible for letting you slip away, for choosing to let you go when in fact, I never really wanted to."

I was more than happy to hear those words from her. It's as if I am seeing the upgraded version of the girl I have been falling for, all these times.

I came towards her to hug her, but she stopped me, "Baby, you don't know how happy you are making me right now." I want to hug her. But she won't let me.

She said, "All this time, you were the one who keeps on finding ways to make me feel fine. Now it's time that you have to let me do my part." then she hugged me lovingly. It was not tight, but sweet enough that my tears trickle down.

I felt so happy, knowing I can have her back in my arms again.

"Can we get back to how we were before?" I asked.

She shook her head lightly. "The past was too broken to fix, we might hurt ourselves along the process. But a chance to begin again is a good way to go." then she smiled sweetly.

"I love you so much, Nadine." I said as I looked at her in her beautiful hazel eyes.

She was blushing, but said, "I love you more, James."

That's all it took for me to wrap my arms around her, something I would never get enough of.