Evan's P.O.V
Evan dragged himself off of his warm bed and into his bathroom, he shivered when his bare feet made contact with the cold white floor in his bathroom,. He turned the lights on and went straight to his mirror with a blank expression on his face, he had no interest in anything anymore. His sanity was long gone and it was keeping him in the dark without anyone to call out to.
His gang was in the living room, worrying for their leader but also giving him his own space. For they too, are in Evan's state, the only difference? Evan's condition was worse than everyone combined.
As he looked at himself in the mirror, he saw a completely different person. His eyes were bloodshot red that had bags under them from sleepless nights and tearful days. His figure that was once so built up now very thin and pale. His perky and enthusiastic personality now gone like the wind.
He didn't know who he was anymore, he didn't care what would happen next and he showed no interest in any missions or jobs that his clients are offering. His gang kept up their high profile by accepting the calls from their clients, robbing, stealing and killing people for money. His gang knew that Evan was in a critical state and they didn't bother to call or come to him for help since they were understanding enough to give him time to grieve over his loss.
If you're wondering why he was like this, it was because of the incident that happened not too long ago.
He lost his best friend, his best bud and his partner in crime, Delirious. He hated how he never had the chance to tell his crush how he really felt, he hated those half opened eyes and the figure that lay on his bed haunting him every night only to have it disappear when he would try to get near it.
He hated Delirious' influential touches that sent shivers up his spine at accidental times where their shoulders would brush past against each other. he hated those soft pink lips that he wanted so badly to be on his.He hated his laughs that would bring butterflies to his stomach and that cute smile that he always gave everyone that would seem to light the whole world up to life.
He hated the flashbacks of his crush dying while he was frozen on the spot, unable to protect him in anyway. He remembered Delirious' last words that would always haunt his dreams at night, he hated everything that reminded him of his deceased friend and most of all.
He hated the fact that Delirious will NEVER come back no matter how much he will try.
He tried to be happy for himself for the sake of his survival and Delirious' happiness, it was so painful and hard and no matter how much he told himself that it was going to be okay in the future, he still found himself curled up into a ball on his own bed, drowning in his emotions and his own tears.
As Evan turned away he went out his room to find the guys were out, probably on another mission. He dreaded every time the guys would go out without him, he feared the worst for them. he feared he might lose another member of the family, he has already lost enough but somehow he couldn't bring up to show his face to the public after having losing one of their friends.
Evan scanned his surroundings and found the house surprisingly neat and organized, usually he'd find it full of trash like empty beer bottles or candy wrappers specifically gummy bears from Lui's little obsessions of the treat. he felt so lonely, broken and so incomplete, there was something missing in his life and that something...or someone rather, won't be able to come back to him to tell him everything was going to be alright.
No more Delirious to ruffle his hair on random times, no one to be there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on, no one there to make him laugh and make him feel whole again. No more Delirious laughs and no more light left in his life.
but on the contrary, Evan still cared about his gang members even though they feel so incomplete now, he thought about what Delirious might feel if he was still here right now, he pondered on how he would react seeing Evan sulking in his room and leave the work to the guys, their lives in danger while he is in the room barely getting over his own desires rather than be happy for Delirious and help the gang instead.
he considered on doing it a couple of times but never did he have the courage to actually do it.
Evan fixed himself up before grabbing his phone, he typed a little message to the guys asking them where they are.
After a few minutes, he gained a reply saying they were just out in the Bahama Mama's to cool off. He couldn't blame them though, it has been a rough week trying to find clients and doing the missions without their leader to guide them through it. Evan pushed the thought of Delirious being gone away and went towards the planning room.
he thumbed a quick reply to the guys, ordering them to get to the planning room right now.
if he was going to change for Delirious, then there's no better time than now.
"I hope you're happy up there Delirious, Save a spot for me and make sure it will be right fucking next to you, you mother fucker'
Evan thought before smiling to himself and planning out the next robbery.
