Love Until It Hurts (Monteverde Series 4)

4

Chapter Four

Maria Samantha

            "Zade..."Tumakas ang lahat ng kulay sa mukha ko nang masilayan ko uli ang mukhang iyon. Mabilis na dinagsa ng mga emosyon ang puso ko. Ang dami kong gustong sabihin sa kanya, pero sa huli, pangalan niya lang ang tanging salita na namutawi sa bibig ko.

            "Zade." Hindi makapaniwalang tawag ko uli sa kanya. Hindi siya nagsalita. Nanatili lang siyang nakatingin sa akin na para bang nakakita siya ng multo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang gusto kong umiyak, gusto ko siyang yakapin, gusto kong humingi ng tawad. Ang dami kong gustong gawin pero nanatili lang akong nakatitig sa mga mata niya.

            He looked different now -- good different. Mas nagmature siyang tignan. He looked impeccably regal in his all black business suit. His features were the same tantalizing ones I fell in love with, four years ago. His voice was the same voice that sang me to sleep when I was having bad dreams. His arms looked bigger, but I knew that those were still the arms that held me during the bad nights, and the good ones, too.

            Zade.

            Maaaring may mga nagbago na, pero nakikita ko sa mga mata niya na siya pa rin ang Zade na minahal ko noon. Ang Zade na mahal ko pa rin, hanggang ngayon.

            I don't know what to say to him. Nang makabawi kaming dalawa ay binigyan ko siya ng isang tagilid na ngiti. Hindi niya ito ginantihan. He remained stiff as he helped me stand up. His touch reminded me of all the days we spent together -- all the happy ones.

            "Nandito ka pala sa Ilocos," mahinang sabi niya bago namulsa sa harap ko. Tahimik na tumango ako. Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga bago nagsalita.

            "I'm happy to see you again," bulong ko.

            "Um... Yeah. Me, too."

            "Kumusta ka na?"

            "I'm doing okay. I see you're in a business suit. Meeting?"

            Tumango lang siya bilang sagot.

            When Zade and I went our separate ways, all the regret and the despair followed me everywhere I go. Noong una, kaya ako nakipagrelasyon sa kanya ay dahil nagpaapekto ako sa sinabi ng Nanay ko. Sabi niya mas magiging masaya at mabuti ang lagay naming dalawa kapag nakaahon kami sa hirap. Sabi niya kailangan kong gawin ang lahat ng paraan para magkatuluyan kami ni Zade. Kapag nangyari 'yon, we'll never again have to worry about being poor, having no food on our table.

            I'm guilty about all the deceit.

            In the end, I realized that I was more than a person who uses someone for her own benefit. I was more than a gold digger who cannot stand on her own two feet. Alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako gano'n, na mali ang ginagawa ko.

            My mother hated me for defying her orders, she hated me even more for falling genuinely in love with the person I was only supposed to ask money from. Out of anger, she went to seek out Zade to tell him the plan.

            The hardest part was not about Zade finding out the horrible truth.

            The hardest part was Zade finding out the horrible truth but still giving me the benefit of the doubt. He told me he knew me better and that all I have to do is deny the accusations and he would believe me -- no questions asked.

            He told me he would believe my every word.

            But I couldn't lie anymore, so I confessed.