Limitless

Chapter 1

Who is HE to tell ME who I can and can't be cool with? All I want is to be free from him; free from all who try to hold me down. I want the freedom to spread my wings and soar to wherever life takes me. Derek doesn't understand the phrase "no means no"and I don't know how to make him understand.
Here we go again, another Sunday morning and another bitter stare from the hypocrites of Mount Southern Baptist Church. Of course being the smart ass that I am, I flash a little grin at each one of them. They turn their noses up in the air and face forward. Like my grandma Martha always says, " Kill 'em with kindness baby, that's all you can do when it comes to them hateful people."
It's hard enough being black and living in a city where you can get robbed walking your child from daycare, but being gay and black and female, now that's a triple treat of pure HELL. I know what the people of this church probably say about me. I haven't told anyone but they have their suspicions.
I dated Derek for about 3 months. I was trying to cover up the fact that I wasn't into guys like that. Well, it worked but I realized that I was just being untrue to myself. I tried to break it off with Derek about a week ago but HE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT!
Yesterday at 9 Am, he called me out of the blue and was just like, " What's up baby? What we doin' today?" I wiped some of the sleep from my eyes and with a confused look on my face I replied," Um, first of all, NOT your baby and second, it is too early for this."
   He said, " What you mean you not my baby? You're my girl right? I thought we cou-".
   "Derek STOP! It's OVER! I'm sorry but we've been through this already. I just want to be friends but now you're ruining that!", I interrupted.
   " So what you sayin' is...you don't wanna be my girl nomore? "
   " Yes Derek. That's exactly what I was trying to say like a WEEK AGO so..."
   "But why though? Who's the guy? Who is it, you can tell me?", he pleaded and I could tell he was getting aggravated but so was I.
   I replied," Derek there is no other guy and I TRIED to be nice with it but you DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND! I just don't want to be with y-"
   " WHY are you ACTIN' like dis? I know I wasn't the best boyfriend but I didn't really cheat or nothing so-"
   "WAIT..what you mean really? Why you even go there?"
   Now I was wondering if he had been cheating on me the WHOLE TIME! I had that look on my face like I was ready to jump through the phone on his ass!
   He sighed and with a weak voice said," Yeah...Um.. I kind of made out with someone..but it wasn't nothing serious! I-I promise it was just I was drunk and she ca-"
   "Bye Derek." I hung up the phone.
He called me about 10 times and sent me 14 texts trying to explain and asking me why I don't want to be with him. I'm like, GET THE HINT! I DON'T want to FREAKIN' TALK TO YOU! Duh!
Church is finally letting out and I can't wait to get back to some of grandma's good southern cooking. One of the women who was staring at me in the church comes up to my grandmother smiling that fake ass smile, goes in for a hug, and says, " Oh, isn't it great to see you've gotten our Gabby to come back to see us. I was worried we wouldn't be seeing much of her, having dealing with her move and all." My grandmother smiles and replies, " Oh yes, my baby comes to see me every weekend! She loves her grandma." She leans over to me and kisses my cheek and I smile.
Me and my grandma are the same height. My mom is tall so I guess the shortness gene skipped her and hit me. That's ok because I'm a 5'4 fire ball of cuteness and fierceness, haha! Don't let my height fool you. I can STILL hold my own!