10.

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Emily 



I went on a date tonight provided by my good friend Kelly. The girl was lovely, but I could not have been less interested, one straight beauty was constantly on my mind.

''How was your date?'' Stella asks as she enters the living room. It's nearly 1am and she is stumbling a little. I don't know where she has been, but he looks really good. Dark skinny jeans showing off her long legs and a once again almost see-through blouse. I can see her black bra under it and her boobs look really good. Oh, I have to stop checking her out!

''Not so good, '' I say putting my laptop on the table.

''Why not?'' she asks plopping down on the sofa. I can smell alcohol on her breath.

''Wasn't feeling it,'' I shrug. I can't really tell her the real reason.

''Where did you go?'' I am interested to know. She doesn't mind my curiosity at all.

''Oh, just a party, but it was not my crowd, no cute guys either '' she slouches down on the sofa, ''just really wanted sex tho.''

That's a bold confession. I'm taken aback a little and don't know what to say. She must be drunker than it seems.

''Try girls next time,'' I joke.

''I might just do that next time,'' she says sarcastically rolling her eyes.

''Have you kissed a girl before?'' Curiosity starts building in me. If we are already talking about it, why not ask? She seems to be in a confessional mood.

''Of course I have. Many times, at a party, just for fun,'' she is aimlessly going through channels on the TV as she answers me. She finally stops on a channel playing some movie that looks familiar but I can't really tell.

''Oh, for fun, because when I do it, it's for the business,'' I say sarcastically. She chuckles at that. But knowing that kissing a girl isn't a complete no-no gives me hope. Hope that I should not have. Must not think about it, Emily!

''Have you kissed a guy?'' she asks. Sitting now Indian stile, facing me.

''I have, and I have told you before.''

''Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot.'' She laughs sheepishly.

We sit there watching that movie that is about some dude who can't get the girl because the girl is popular but he is not. The usual nonsense that sells.

''Do you like to watch romance movies, I mean, all of them are about heterosexual couples...'' she shuts up. ''I don't really know where I was going with this, '' she chuckles a little. I laugh out loud.

''Well, there are movies about gay couples as well, if that's what you are asking.'' I have no idea what she is trying to ask me or if she was trying to ask me anything at all. The alcohol is really kicking in now.

''Are you talking about porn, because I know that,'' she is teasing me now, lazy smile on her lips.

''No I was not, '' I gasp. She is even more fun when she is drunk.

''Do we have any wine?'' She stands up and heads to the kitchen. I fallow her to the kitchen with my eyes, her back side looking extremely good in those jeans of hers.

''Umm, haven't you had enough?'' I ask a bit concerned. I get up and fallow her to the kitchen.

She is rummaging through the fridge. The light from the fridge is making her blouse even more see through, I hope she was in a dark place not under a spotlight.

''I'm not that drunk,'' she flashes me a smile from behind the fridge door.

''Arguable,'' I say under my breath. She finds a bottle of red wine and opens it with ease.

''Want some?'' she takes out two glasses without waiting for my reply. I guess I'm drinking.

''Sure.''

She pours two glasses and we go back to the sofa.

She takes her hair out of the high ponytail she had and lets it fall. I just sit there like an idiot looking at her. She sits close to me and surprisingly rests her head on my shoulder. All I can think about right now is putting my hands around her and touching my lips to hers.

I got it bad. This is really bad. So bad. I have a crush on my roommate, my straight roommate.

I ended up not going to the date after all. I left the house and I was outside of the restaurant, but I could not go in. I have known for a week that I didn't want this date, I should have told the girl earlier. I just sent her a pathetic text half an hour before the date. I'm such an ass.

After I got back home I got a really angry phone call from Annie.

''What the hell is wrong with you, huh? How could you do this! She was waiting there for you and you just stood her up like that?! I'm so done with this shit! Stop acting like that, there is nothing you can do! Move on, for God's sake!'' She yelled at me and I just hummed in response. I had nothing to say, but I felt myself getting a bit annoyed with her. Silence filled the phone call while I processed what she said. Anger grew in me.

''Maybe you should have not forced me to go?! You always try to set me up with girls. I'm not ready. Have you thought of that maybe?! Thanks for the concern, but I don't want a fucking date!'' I hang up not letting her say anything. I have known Annie since we were children and I have never ever used a tone like this with her. I feel a little bad about it now.

But she is always pushing me. I just don't want to right now.



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