My Silenced Cries

The old us...

Oh god I hate to admit it.

But sometimes I look back.

And remember what we had.

I reminisce on when it was good.

Like at Christmas.

Damn we were so happy...

Or when I moved.

Where did it go?

I remember holding you.

I remember those long hugs where neither of us wanted to let go.

And we didn't.

We didn't let go. For hours it seemed.

We held each other so tightly.

I remember laughing with you.

Shit we laughed about everything.

We cried together.

We fought.

We screamed.

But in the end we always loved each other.

And we still do.

We just don't feel it the same.

Sometimes. I think back to what we had. And I wish we could have it all back.

Before everything went and turn to shit.

Before the fighting.

The screaming.

The drugs...

Before all of that.

After the first time.

That really helped us grow closer.

No matter how bad it hurt it did.

We had a few solid months. Where I really was confident in us.

I hate to admit it... But I still am.

I'm confident in the old us.

We were happy.

You made me happy.

Now sitting here... Remember all this...

It hurts.

Ya know it hurts a lot.

I want the old us back...

Ill admit that...

I'm hurt... And I'm confused.

But I do know that... I wish I could have the old us back.

When we were happy.

When we were in love.

I want... The butterflies and the kisses.

I just want someone... And all I can ever think about is you...

I'm sorry I still feel this way.

I really am.

I just...

Needed to vent.

And shit...

If I knew how to tell you all this...

I'm sorry babe... I dunno what to do anymore...

I want all that I can't have...

I want everything that's over. Everything that's in the past now...

I just want you... Without all the worry. Without all the scare. Without the pain.

I want the old us.

I want... Everything to go back to the way it was...

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