One last cry... the end, and goodbye </3

644 13 4
                                    

This is it...

the last...

Sorry I just needed to get this out, and whether or not anyone reads this...

If I kill myself tonight, which I am deeply considering...

It's my decision... only one person can change my mind... and I doubt that will happen... so here it is... my last desperate dry before I end it all...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love: something that only exists in fairy tales.

Hate: God’s only true emotion; the only real emotion in the world.

Depression: Something that eats at you everyday till you die off.

Suicidal thoughts: Something that I face everyday.

Weakness: Get’s you in trouble and gets you hurt.

Pain: Lets you know that you’re alive. Because with no pain... we would feel nothing...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---Love---

Love.

If you look this word up in a dictionary you get 4 definitions:

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.

sexual passion or desire.

4.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person;sweetheart.

Well I can tell you straight forward my definition:  Love is something people strive for. Only to be shot down, love is something that doesn’t and never did exist. It’s fake, it’s unrealistic, and it destroys people.

Everso coincidentally my name is Love... and I’m fake, unrealistic, and destroy people. I hurt everyone I come in contact with, I may not be able to always prove this... but I do... I know I do, I can’t understand how I don’t?

Love is in fairy tales that’s it... Love is for lucky, the extremely lucky, so if you’re loved in any way... never let that go, hold on to that... because you my friend are one of the luckiest people out there.

They say that love is powerful. That it can move mountains and stuff... but...  they also say you can’t love or be loved until you love yourself. (BULLSHIT!)

I needed someone... and you pushed me away, shut me out and closed up.

You needed someone, and I dropped everything. Just to help you... just to be there for you.

But that’s my fault huh.

Every single person that has ever said ‘I love you’ to me, is a liar... You can’t love the unlovable, the broken, and the sccared.

In all honesty, I have only one reason to hate myself, and that’s me... and my brain... the voices...

In all honesty, I have zero reason to hate my life... I have ‘an amazing life’ right?

I’m selfish... I sound just suck it up and forgive everyone for everything right?

WRONG!

Because I’m not like that, I hold a grudge.

My Silenced CriesWhere stories live. Discover now