Courtesy Of Blurryface

We've Gone And Made Such Fools Of Ourselves

Josh drove me to his house after I talked to Mr. Nolan.

We didn't go out to eat, he just taught me stuff.

"So, Tyler, you jerk off?"

"Well, yeah, I just started."

"Hm, do you use rags or..?"

"Oh, I use tissues, Ryan said I should use tissues."

"What do you watch?"

"Ryan suggested I watch Pornhub and Redtube but I bought some magazines so, I don't watch Pornhub or Redtube."

"Instead of saying, 'I don't watch Pornhub or Redtube.' Just say, 'porn.'"

"Porn is the people having sex, right?"

"Yeah." Josh digs through his closet.

"What does it show?"

"People having sex." Josh laughs.

"Does it show nudity?"

"Soo many questions." Josh whines.

I look at him strangely.

"But, yes, there is A LOT of nudity." He responds.

"Wait a second, how do you not know this?"

"What?"

"Have you ever watched porn?"

"No."

"Not once in your life?"

"Not once." I respond.

Josh stands up and gets on his computer.

"What are you doing?"

I sit on his bed.

"Come over here, Tyler. Gotta show ya something."

"What is it?"

"Do not question your best friend.."

"Okay." I walk over to his computer.

"What are on those thumbnails?"

"Look in the top left corner of the screen, Ty."

"it says, 'Pornhub.'"

"Yeah, in the thumbnails, you'll probably see one of these three things, a vagina, a penis or ass."

"That's disgusting!"

"Ty, that's what every guy watches, that's what I watch, it's not a big deal, it just feels better when you're watching something than looking at something that has no motion."

"Do I have to watch porn?"

"I'd suggest you go home, you have your own computer, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so search Pornhub and watch one porno."

"Porno?"

"It's porn but it's like an hour long at the least."

"I- Just erase your search history every time you're done watching porn for the day. Seriously, you don't want your parents finding, 'Pornhub' in your search history." Josh interrupts me.

"Okay.."

"Trust me, you'll thank me for when you have sex with Jenna."

"I'll be having sex with Jenna?"

"I hope so, after Homecoming, of course."

"I don't want to see her.. Boobs or-Dude, that IS sex, getting comfortable with each others' bodies.. And well, enjoying eachother's' bodies." Josh interrupts and smiles.

"You're gross."

"I'll be enjoying Ashley's' body some-Is that why you want meet her? Because you just want to have sex with her?" I interrupt.

"If she is how she describes how she looks then, no, I'm not meeting her for sex. I'm sure she's beautiful."

"How nice of you to say about a girl."

"But if her boobs are small and-I'm out, bye, see you tomorrow at school." I interrupt.

"It was a joke!"

"Sure it was, it was really funny." I give him the 'okay' sign.

I stop for a second.

"Can I get a ride? You drove me here."

"Alright, let's go." He grabs his keys.

He drives me home and yes, I did watch a 22 minute porno on Pornhub. Yes, it was enjoyable but Josh and I are disgusting pricks and I think we've gone and already made such fools of ourselves but I hope I'll stop being such a disgusting prick in the near future. Excuse me for the sinful language.