Never Felt Right Calling This Just Friends (Jack Barakat)

Chapter 28

I was in the back lounge, listening to music and looking through Instagram. I was the only one on the bus because everyone else was out drinking, I didn't feel like leaving the bus because I was having quiet a bad day/night. I was feeling down for no reason and just felt like hiding so that's what I did. Rian didn't want to leave me alone at first but he did after I told him several times that I'm fine. Lie.

I heard the bus door open and checked the time; 22:03. Untypical early for the guys. I got up and looked through the bus and Jack walked over to me.

"Already back? But where are the others?", I asked as the door closed and he was the only one that entered the bus.

"Still out", he said and sat down in the back lounge. I just gave him a weird look and sat down too.

"You wanna know why I came back alone?", he asked me and I looked questioningly at him. Maybe because he was too drunk to do anything? No, he didn't look drunk. Because he didn't like the location they were at? They would go to another. Let's find out.

"I couldn't get my mind off something and yeah, that's why I came back. I uh, I actually wanted to talk to you..", he got more quiet at the end. Please don't talk about the moments where we didn't have ourselves under control.

"What's up? Is everything okay?", I asked nervous. He let out a sigh and sat up straight, facing me.

"This can go the way I want it to be or this can go really wrong", he said and put a hand on my cheek. I felt myself tense up but I tried to hide it. He moved his fave closer to me. Is he really going to kiss me? Before I could say anything I felt his lips on mine.

My head was screaming at me to back off but I just couldn't move away. I wanted this. My heart wanted it.

I hesitated at first but kissed him back. My heart was racing and I felt tingly inside.

We pulled away and he breathed out a chuckle. I guess my face was showing what I was feeling; surprise.

"What, what was that for?", I asked confused. He took my hand in his and played with my fingers.

"I wanted to do that for a long time now", he admitted. This can't be true.
Did he ever took a proper look at me? How could he want to do that.

"But why?", I asked him quietly. I looked down to our hands. I kind of wanted to take my hand away but that would make it awkward.

"Don't you know? I'm trying to make it as obvious as possible whenever I can. Don't you wanna see it or are you really that blind?", he said and added a little laugh at the end to let me know he didn't mean it serious.

The compliments, our many almost kisses, the way we were so close to each other the whole time, him wanting to spend time with me alone.
I thought I was feeling signals because I wanted to. Because I did like him.
But he was feeling that way too?

Okay I should say something. But what?

"Liz?", Jack's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him. "Hm?".

"Say something", he said, looking into my eyes, searching for something.
I took my hand away from him and opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again. He is probably just trying to fool me, the guys will enter the bus any second, I thought to myself.

"Okay then", I heard Jack say. I looked at him but he was already heading to the door. "Wait", I said. He stopped walking and turned around.

"Sorry", I said and cleared my throat as he didn't say anything. "What did just happen?". He let out a long sigh.

"I shouldn't have done that. I just thought that, well, I thought there was something", he explained, looking a bit embarrassed. "But nevermind".

"Are, are you being serious right now? Like, the past few weeks, everything that happened between us, that wasn't just messing and joking around?", I asked insecure. I really suck at having conversations.

He shook his head. I was chewing on my lower lip, I always did that when I was being nervous or was feeling uncomfortable.
He walked over to me and looked me in the eyes.

"Were you just messing around with me?", he asked and I felt my heart beating faster. My time to shake my head no. "So there is something?".
I shrugged but slightly nodded.

I looked him in the eyes, those beautiful big, brown eyes. I bit on my lip and looked back down.

"You know I'm not the best when it comes to talk about emotions and stuff but hey", he started and put a finger under my chin, lifting my head up so I was looking at him again.

"I like you", he whispered and I felt the so called butterflies in my stomach. I smiled but shook my head rapidly. "No", I said and stepped back.

"No? Yes I do, and you can't tell me that you don't feel anything now can you?", he asked and he was right. I can't deny it because it was true. And that's what I didn't like.

He took my silence as an answer and sighed. "So what's wrong?", he asked.

Should I be honest with him? Should I tell him what scared me? Or would that make me look pathetic? Fuck it.

"I don't wanna get hurt", I spoke so quietly that I wasn't even sure if I said anything at all. But he heard me, because he rushed to my side and and took my head in his hands. He looked me so deep in the eyes, it was like he was looking through my soul.

"You won't. You heard that Lizzy? You won't get hurt", he said and I nodded, still a bit unsure. I always end up getting hurt. It's always the same.

"So let's... Let's try it out?", he asked with a smile. Try it out? I could try it out but what if I will fall for him more and more and then it's too late to stop it? But I really like him and he just admitted that he likes me. I would be stupid to say no, I would regret it.

"Okay", I whispered and smiled at him. "Okay what?", he asked with a goofy smile and I hit him playfully.

"Let's try it out", I said with a big smile. He put his arms around my waist and leaned down to kiss me. I put my arms around his neck and he nibbled on my lower lip, asking for entrance and I gladly let him in. He grabbed my ass and I smiled into the kiss. We pulled away before it got too heated and he rested his forehead on mine. We both smiled at each other but then it hit me.

"What about the others? What about Rian. We can't let them know", I said worried. "Why not?", he asked.

"Rian would kill us and you know that. Let's just wait and see how everything works out, okay? I mean it's nothing official so yeah, they don't need to know", I said and he looked down. I mean, we're not anything official am I right? He didn't ask me to be his girlfriend so I didn't say anything wrong now did I?

"You're right", he said after while and I let out a relieved breath.
He gave me a kiss and took my hand, leading me to the backlounge.
"We still have a few hours before the others come back", he pointed out as we sat down. He turned on the TV and South Park was on.

"Hiding everything from the others is going to be hard because I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep my hands to myself", he said and smirked down at me. "Dito", I said which caused us to laugh a bit.

He put his arm around me and I cuddled into his side, watching TV. I forgot about how bad I felt earlier.
All I felt right now was happiness.