To Die Happy (Tmnt Donatello Fanfic)

23.Our Fate Cannot Be Fought :Part 1

Our Fate Cannot Be Fought :Part 1

Oh dearest April,
Why did you leave?
Why did another force your spirit to flee?
And if my heart can be repaired,
Don't do the job,
Because that means I'll have to move on and leave you behind.
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Donatello

My nose was being assaulted by the smell of her blood. My eyes were being assaulted by the sight of her blood. My heart was being viciously attacked by stabbing pains that had me seriously believing my heart was breaking in two.

I was taken out of my cell after Karai had stabbed and beat me until I was within an inch of my life. I was not even a minute away from dying, the Kraang almost didn't save me. I had a short conversation with Tang Shen before I was led to this laboratory and she'd been in a panicked state over something. She was about to have a nervous breakdown by the looks of it and try as she may, she couldn't stop me from seeing this.

But now I know why. This was the reason she was trying to get me prepared but her voice had failed her. Just like April's voice had failed her just minutes before her death. A single tear slipped down my cheek and dripped off my chin and on to the metal floors of the lab. No more slid down after it, because I will not show weakness. This is exactly the reaction they want of me. I will not give it to them.

"Donatello." Tang Shen was at my shoulder and I refused to meet her eyes. I stared at the glass vial that contained the love of my life's blood and tried not to break down.

I sincerely hope they've buried her back home. I hope they've picked a nice place worthy to be April's resting place until she rots away in to nothing but a handful of bones. I wish a million yellow roses surrounded her in her coffin or whatever they put her in and that the wounds she had sustained would fade away. It would only be fair.

I wish I was dead with her. I wish I was never revived by the Kraang and I wish I was on the receiving end of that tanto blade instead of Raph. And what had become of Raph? Is he even alive? I wish I could atleast know this information.

But why is Karai allowed to live? Why can she destroy so many lives and not get punished for it? Why was the world so unfair?!

The chemicals before me have the power to blow up the entire floor that I'm on. The right stuff could blow up the building and poison anyone within five miles. My fingers twitch toward the chemicals and I'm tempted to do it. It would explode right beside me and I would be dead before I even knew what the pain felt like. But that nagging thought that I'd be killing innocent people and Tang Shen is at the front of my mind, and I don't think I'm capable of such a crime.

My mind drifts to April again. My sweet April. The sound of her throat slicing open and the sound of her slight gurgle just before she hits the ground booms in my head.

I don't want to move on from April. Moving on means I'm only leaving her behind. I can't leave her behind because I want to move on with her. I want to live happily with April and have the relationship I was meant to have with her. I don't want her to dissipate in to the wind like a dust bunny. If she's going to be stuck behind, I atleast want to be behind with her.

Why does the world hate me so much?

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