To Die Happy (Tmnt Donatello Fanfic)

1.Where It All Started

Michelangelo thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Surely his older brother, who was wiser then he could ever be, smarter than he could dream to be, was not trying to stab a knife in to his throat? It wasn't possible, it just didn't seem right. This wasn't a scene Michelangelo ever dreamt he'd see.

"I'm done. I can't do this anymore, please, go away." It was Donatello's pleading voice that un-glued his feet from the floor. Mikey sprung in to gear and moved from the doorway he was currently standing in and he ran at a speed in sync with his pounding heart.

"Donnie stop!" The words just about made it past Michelangelo's mouth before he slammed in to Donnie, hands reaching for the olive green fist that was holding the blade and using all his strength to direct it away from Donnie's throat. Warm, sticky blood smudged all over Michelangelo due to the self inflicted cuts on Donatello's arms.

Donatello's vision was plagued with black spots as his head hit the floor from Mikey's tackle. His grip on the knife, which was saturated in his own blood tightened. But Mikey was too strong for him and his attempts to throw his little brother off of him was pointless.

"Let go of me Mikey!" Donatello commanded with the sternness voice he could muster, but it did nothing to direct Mikey's objective elsewhere. But his younger brother had him pinned well and most of Donatello's strength had drained along with the blood he lost while he was cutting himself. He could not overpower Michelangelo in this state.

Inaudible words were cutting through the air at octaves Donatello had not thought possible. Michelangelo was yelling at him to let go of the knife clutched in his hand, a female voice was screaming the lair down as she panicked and tried to get through to people on her phone.

His mind was a blur. Thoughts tangled together in to one giant knot that he couldn't even begin to unravel. Only one thing stuck to the front of his mind, one objective that he needed to hold on to and not let get tied in to the mess that was his mind,

Never let go off the knife.

*************
4 Months Earlier...

"H-hey April." Donatello stammered as he stumbled in to the kitchen. His cheeks tinged pink when she turned to look at him and he mentally berated himself, way to be smooth Donatello, how are you going to have a conversation with her if you can barely say hi?

"What's up Donnie?" She smiled cheerfully and Donnie's attempt at returning her smile failed. He took in a shaky breath as his stomach churned from the nerves. This conversation was one that could change his life and he didn't want to mess it up.

" I just...wanted to talk to you." He muttered. Donatello then wondered when he swallowed all the butterflies currently fluttering around his stomach and he pushed his glasses up nervously. April looked at him curiously and her head tilted to the side.

"Yeah sure Don, what do you want to talk about?" April asked.

"I...uh... I really like you April." Donatello said and he carefully watched her expression. April's face remained impassive as he spoke.

"Yeah Donnie we're real good friends." she said in agreement and Donatello deflated a bit.

"Oh, but...um... I like you, you know, as more than a friend." He said and his heart raced faster than he thought possible. April's stone faced expression broke and slight look of shock played in her eyes. She processed what he said slowly and then she did something that had Donatello's heart crack in a spider web pattern- she burst out laughing.

"Oh Donnie! It would never work." she said in between fits of laughter and Donnie felt his eyes fill with tears.

"I mean come on! You're a turtle and I'm a human!" She said to Donnie as though he were five and didn't know any better. "It wouldn't be normal and you can't even be seen in public! I couldn't even have a normal relationship." she ranted on and Donatello was stunned in to silence.

"And anyway I like Casey!" April blurted out like it was obvious.

Donatello's mind was a blur, 'A simple I don't like you that way would have been fine.' He thought and he feared that his heart was going to crumble away with April's words echoing in his ears. He struggled to keep the tears from leaving his eyes but failed. He blinked rapidly in an attempt to hide them but it was too late- April had already seen them.

"Are you... crying?" April asked and for a moment Donatello believed she'd had a change of heart- that she would at least be a bit nicer to him, but he was wrong... So very wrong.

"Pfft... Ahaha!!" April dissolved in to a mess of laughter, holding her sides and bending over slightly.

Donnie couldn't take it anymore. He turned and left April laughing in the kitchen and made a mad sprint for his lab. Once he skidded to a halt as he passed the threshold of his sanctuary, he slammed the doors closed and the sound of the lock quickly snapping in to place was heard after. He put his back up against the cool metallic doors and slid to the ground, his wall of tears completely broken and his wail of despair barely held back.

Note: I have gone back and edited this chapter so it may be of better quality than the next ones, so I'll try to get them all edited soon.

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Till' next time!
-Aoifetello xxx