Dead Inside Book II

Chapter 3: Utterly Insane

*Self Harming Involved*

I wake up and look over at Nash, who was asleep on my chest. I smile down at him start to pet his hair. I feel him smile and he snuggled his head into my chest. I felt my heart rate speed up as he started to draw shape with his finger under my shirt. I felt him trace hearts and stars by my lower stomach.

My breath hitches as he was going over some old scars that still hurt. He was about to lift my sleeve up when I quickly stand up and ran downstairs. I went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. Nash later comes down and snakes his arms around my waist. He then tries look at my arms again, but the phone rang.

He unattached from me and went to go answer it. While I was cooking food, I just went into deep concern. What if he finds out? He will leave me, I know it! He would not want to be with a mentally insane person like me.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard sniffling. I turn around and see Nash with his back turned listening to the phone. He puts down the phone ever so slowly and breaks into a sob. He sinks down to the ground, and curls up into a ball. I pick him up and set him on the counter. He look down, nor making any eye contact with me. I pick up his chin and moved in between his legs.

"Nash, what happened?" I asked nervously.

"Your sister---," he started before starting to cry.

"My sister is what?!" I asked now terrified.

"She is having a baby," he said laughing through the tears.

I almost fell over when he said that. I'm going to be an uncle. I'm going to be a little niece or nephew running around. At least that will some training for when I have one of my own. I screamed on the top of my lungs and ran around the house. I was freaking out, my sister is having a baby.

"Cameron, chill," he said trying to keep me still.

"How can I chill?" I asked jumping out and down,"I am going to be an uncle!"

"Yeah, I know, but the neighbors are going to complain about the noise," he said fiddling with his fingers.

"It would not be the first time that the neighbors came over here and told us to keep it down, kitten," I said biting my lip.

He blushed and hid his face. I finished making breakfast for Nash and he literally gobbled all up. I sat and watch him eat, then my stomach growled. He noticed me holding my stomach. I stand up and take his plate, ignoring his face filled with worry. I tried to keep everything normal even though everything is going to shit, not including my sister's pregnancy.

"Cameron, are you okay?" He asked in quiet voice.

"Of course I am," I said trying to sound normal,"Why would I not be?"

"Well, you are not eating, you look extremely pale, and you want take off that sweatshirt," he said sounding concern.

"Okay first I am not hungry, second I do not leave the house as often as you do, and third I like this sweatshirt," I said defensively.

He still looked concern. He stood and walked over to me, putting his hand on my forehead. His eyes widen as soon as his hand touched my head. He then was about to touch my arm, but I slapped it away. Then his lips started to quiver, his face was turning red, and I see tears brining his grey eyes.

"You did it, did you not?" He asked whispering the last part,"You broke your promise."

"What promise?" I asked acting coy," I did not promise you anything."

Without warning, Nash ripped up my sleeve exposing the fresh marks on my skin. He did not say anything just stared blankly at my arms. I was horrified as well, he did not say a word or make a sound. I do not know if he is upset with me or not. He looked up at me and tear were pouring from his eyes, still having his blank stare.

"Nash, say something or do something," I said shaking him,"Yell, cry, hit me, I can not take your silence."

"Where is your razor?" He asked quietly,"How many cuts do you have on both of your arms?"

"It is in the bathroom next to the sink, and twenty on each why?" I asked worried.

He did not answer, just took off sprinting. I went after him, asking him what he is going to do. He goes into the bathroom and locks the door. I searched everywhere for a key, but I could not find it. I hear soft whimpers and sobbing in the bathroom, sounds I know all too well. I then back up and kick down the door. I almost passed or when I saw him sitting in the floor, with blood arms.

"Nash, do not be become me, this mentally insane freak," I said kneeling down.

"Then we could lose our minds together," he said crying more,"I am utterly and completely in love with you and you probably think that is insane."

"It is," I said crying,"Why would you want to one do this and two stick around for this long."

"Because I am insanely in love with you, Cameron Alexander Dallas," he said leaning in.

"And I am insanely in love with you, Hamilton Nash Grier," I said faintly smiling.

Our lips collided, we had a long, passionate, but still innocent kiss. I then picked him up and sat him on the bathroom counter and grabbed a wash cloth. I started to dap the blood that was dripping down his arms. As soon as the rag made contact with his arm, he hissed, gripping onto his thigh. I let him squeeze my hand during the process.

"You are insane," I said giggling.

"Only for you," he said kissing my cheek.